(Closed) What do we do with gifts?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@gamerchick:  You absolutely should not return the money, and you should send a heartfelt thank you note to each guest who gave you any type of gift.

Unfortunately, in your zeal to try to do what you felt was the right thing, you inadvertently did the wrong thing by making ANY mention AT ALL about gifts — even the absence of them — in your invitations.

ETA:  Also, you should not donate the cash gifts to charity in the name of the giver.

Post # 4
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

You CANNOT return ANY gift, monetary or item. Do as you wish, whih is why it was given, but returning it would be a very big insult.

Post # 5
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agree with PPs. I think that no matter what, you take the gifts your given (cash or gift), and while you were trying to go about it nicely to emphasize no gifts, a lot of folks likely read ‘cash please.’ Write your thank yous to everyone, cash the checks promptly (no one likes wiating for a check to go through and mess up their balance if it’s too late), and decide how to spend the money (like PP said, no donations in their name). If it’s really bothering you, keep it all set aside and treat them generously at the next gift-giving opportunity you have. 

Post # 6
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It was impolite to mention gifts to begin with, even if it was to ask people to not bring one.

Moving forward, you write each gift giver a very sincere thank you note letting them know what you plan to do with the money (i.e., saving for a home, completing our dish set, etc.). Do not return the money, no matter what you do. I would not inform the gift giver of donating it to charity, even if you end up doing that. 

Post # 7
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would be very offended if my gift was sent back, whether it be a monetary gift or not. You implied to gifts, but your guests WANTED to give you something. Take that money and put it in a savings fund or donate it, or throw a big bbq or something with all of your friends there, but do NOT give back their gifts!

Post # 9
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Your very lucky.  I read here about girls receiving no gifts (yet alone cold hard cash) and being so upset.  Count your lucky stars. 

Spend the money on something fun – anew patio set, a new BBQ, a vacation…. some china or crystal.  Anything!  Your super lucky.

Post # 10
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I agree with PP- do NOT return the gifts! Do you and Darling Husband need new furniture? That’s our plan for monetary gifts. 

Post # 11
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

Do let us know what you decide to do with it 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Buy something.  Your guests gave you guys money to make things easier — plan a vacation, buy some furniture, update stuff, whatever.  Heck, put the money in savings.  Consider it a future children’s education fund 🙂 if you feel guilty about it.  I mean, you can’t feel guilty about helping your future kids out (if you’re planning to have any).

Post # 13
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, you can’t return the gifts.  Write thank you notes to everyone and keep the money.  Invest it or something.  Don’t donate it.  People wrote you checks because they love you and are happy for you.  Returning it or donating it would be incredible rude and a slap in the face.

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