Post # 1
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
Hi everyone! I post here sometimes but mainly just visit 🙂 I want to extend a big CONGRATS to everyone that is engaged!
I am not waiting, but my friend at work is and her and her bf had a conversation the other day about marriage. They got into a conversation somehow about how it will be much more affordable to have a baby when they are married and on his insurance. I guess they are not not trying but not preventing, so she made it clear she should start BC so there is no chance of her getting pregnant before she gets on his insurance since it will be so expensive. (He has really magical insurance apparently)
Anyway, he responded with ” Well you know if you got pregnant I would propose right?” Well that struck a nerve with her. He has told her they are going to get married, and I believe it. He is great to her and you can tell he really loves her and is ready to settle down. However, she is wondering why just that thought alone prompted him to say that. I told her that it is a good sign, considering he would fufill her wishes and marry her regardless. She knows he will propose, it’s just a matter of when at this point. But she feels he should speed it up and ask now, rather than speed it up just because a baby is on the way. I guess I am just wondering what everyone else would think if their SO said this to them? I thought it would be good to hear some other opinions. Thanks!
Post # 2
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
Frankly, I would be insulted. I have never understood plans to propose at some point. If you know you will propose, propose now. A woman should not be made to ‘wait’ like this. She is not a puppy waiting for a treat. Dangling a promise without actually making it is wrong. I would not take that. I never have.
Post # 3
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
My SO put this into perspective for me and apracticalwedding.com confirmed with this article: http://apracticalwedding.com/2011/09/he-wants-to-marry-you-engagement/
Sometimes our men are truly ready to make the commitment, but they want to be able to take their time to scheme and plan. Right or wrong, the proposal is often the man’s big moment, and society tells them that it has to be perfect. My boyfriend prescribes to that school of thought, and has been planning the proposal for months now.
Maybe her boyfriend thinks similarly, but is also reasonable enough to realize that a baby would create a new timeline and his schemes would be the least important thing?
Post # 4
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
Aklove: My Fiance, while were dating, and having the ‘what IF I got accidently pregnant while in this relationship’ conversation said the same thing. I think a lot of men WOULD think along the same lines, under the circumstances that they are with the person they want to marry, so in the event a pregnancy were to occur, they would propose. However, I told my Fiance (SO at that time) that I would not want him to propose only because I was pregnant, but rather when he was ready to do it!! A baby on the way does not mean I NEED a ring on my finger…
If your friend wants a proposal, then a marriage, then a baby – then, she needs to take care of her body, and prevent it, rather than ‘worrying’ or wondering that IF she got preggo, and he proposed immediately that he was doing it for the wrong reasons?!
Beyond that, if she wants him to propose sooner rather than later, so that they can move on in their lives together, she needs to vocalize that desire with him, and hopefully he is on the same page!