(Closed) What do you and DH do after coming home from work? How much time spent together?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Around how much time do you and your DH/SO spend together after coming home from work?

    1 hour or less

    2 hours

    3 hours

    4 hours

    5+ hours

  • Post # 2
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    We don’t usually do much, to be honest. If it’s a quiet night, we’ll flop down in front of the tv, wash the pots, cook dinner, prepare our pack up for the next day, that sort of thing. We go to the pub for a few drinks usually once or twice in the week. We spend almost all our time outside of work together – it would drive lots of people crazy, but it works for us.

    How are you finding the experience of living together? Were you dating for long before marriage? It’s very unusual in the UK for couples not to live together before they are married, although I can see positives in both approaches.

    Post # 3
    1451 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    It really varies for us as it depends on what we both have going on. Typically if he doesn’t have work to do, then we’ll spend the evening “together” but doing our own things. So we’ll be on our computers or reading or cooking or whatever individually but we’ll engage with one another during those times. If neither of us has work to do in the evening then we’ll watch a movie or TV show together before bed.

    Often he brings work home with him in which case I’ll typically work at the same time. I’m doing a PhD so there is ALWAYS something that can be worked on. If we work in the evening then we always take the dog out for a longer evening stroll together before bed to decompress and have some quality time together without distractions. 

    So I’d say we’re together the whole evening, but the extent that we’re actually engaging with one another really depends. 

    Post # 4
    2044 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Can’t really answer this poll as we both are lucky enough to work from home, so we spend most all day every day together. We both make sure to get a few hours of alone time or time with our friends (although most all of our friend are mutual at this point) every week or two, but otherwise we pretty much spend every moment together. It’s not for most people, but it works for us.

    Post # 5
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We have a 4 month old baby, so when DH gets home from work we both spend time with the baby – bathing him, getting him ready for bed, playing with him… Then baby goes to bed and DH and I spend about an hour together having dinner, chatting about our day.. Then I go to bed (little baby wakes up around 5,6am..so I go to bed early) and DH stays up relaxing after his day at work – reading, watching TV… then comes to bed about 1-2 hrs after me.

    Post # 6
    512 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I’d say 2-3 hours, depending on a few things. We’re both home by 6pm and generally we spend the next few hours cooking and eating, finishing work and watching tv together. Occasionally I’ll sew on my own or he’ll work out alone. We try to go to bed together most nights.

    Because I’m pregnant, I’ve spent more time sleeping than normal and of course once bub arrives, everything will change.

    We see our friends separately maybe once a week.

    Post # 7
    1436 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Normally around 3-4 hours. Sometimes Fiance cycles/runs after work so we spend less time together. We try to go for a walk before dinner every evening (unless it’s raining heavily or we’re doing other things). We love it, it gives us time to talk about how our days went without being distracted by things at home. We eat dinner together then watc TV/a movie or read before bed. We normally go to bed together unless Fiance is on call, then he sleeps in the other room and goes to bed later than me because he’s more likely to be called before 1am. But, yeah, mainly we go to bed together and read in bed before sleep time!

    Post # 8
    488 posts
    Helper bee

    We spend most of the evening together.  We both spend (too much) time on our computers but they are next to each other, so he might be playing games and I will be browsing but we talk often.  I will spend an hour or so cooking dinner but we still talk in between.  We have a project we are working on at the moment as well, so we spend time together researching and planning that.

    I used to go to bed later and have “me time” but it was never really anything constructive and I was always tired during the day, so now we go to bed at the same time and chat before going to sleep.

    Like @charlllpop, we spend almost all our time together out of work.


    Post # 9
    3531 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    It really depends on the night. There are some nights he comes home from work, kisses me, and starts working some more from home. Other nights he comes home, we eat and watch tv together, and then he starts working. And lastly, there are nights he comes home and we are together until we both go to sleep. 

    When he isn’t working late into the night, we both get in bed at the same time and watch tv while we fall asleep. 

    Post # 10
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016 - Simsbury 1820 House

    It depends on when I come home. Fiance is home at 5 and I can sometimes be as early as 3:30 or as late as 10 p.m. depending on my night meetings. (Reporter.) On a usual night that we are home at the same time, we spend from 5 to 10 together, having dinner, playing video games or watching TV. 

    We do go to bed at the same time and together.

    Post # 11
    4885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    mus1ca1xo:  I work until 3:30, and am home by 3:45, and he works until 5, and gets home around 5:20.

    If it’s Monday or Wednesday, I usually head to the gym at the time that he’s coming home for classes, and if I go to the two I normally go to, then I’m home after 8. We’ll eat supper then, and watch TV/hang out. Sometimes I’ll only go to one, so I’ll be home around 6:30. We usually don’t go to bed until around 10-:15-10:30, so we get a couple hours in with each other.

    The other days of the week it may vary. I play volleyball Thursdays, so those nights are less time with him. Tuesdays are usually the most during the week, not counting Friday when we usually go out for supper.

    Post # 12
    4837 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ours changes by the day of the week. I’m home by 5-5:30 most weekdays, but DH works part-time and goes to grad school, so depending on the day, he might not get home until 9 (for work) or 11 (class). 

    If we’re both home, we cook together, but typically I cook dinner, and then we eat when he gets home and maybe watch some TV. So we spend anywhere from 30 mins to 4 hours together before we go to bed – but some of that time is spent on house chores or homework.

    Post # 13
    4696 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    When I get home around 5- 515 I walk our dog.. And start making dinner. My husband comes home around 6. We spend about 10- 15 mins tidying the house and then hang out for awhile until we’re hungry for dinner.

    We usually watch a few shows, eat dinner, pack our lunches for the next day, and then take the dog for a long walk before bed. We like to be in bed by 930.. We read, chat, or watch a show on our laptop. Weeknights are pretty routine and not all that exciting but, we do get to spend a lot of time together.

    Post # 14
    949 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

    DH and I have different work schedules, so it varies for us. 2 nights a week (Mon & Wed), DH is home when I get home from work; we usually spend from 5:30 to around 10:00 or 11:00 together – we eat, watch TV, go shopping, go for a walk, or do chores around the house. Tuesdays, DH is asleep when I get home because he works 3rd shift that night – I’ll see him when he wakes up at 10:00/10:30 and I’ll help him get ready for work. I don’t see DH on Thurs & Fri because he works 2nd shift and leaves for work before I get home. Sat & Sun we’re usually together from around 9:00 to 3:30, then DH goes to work; we pretty much do the same things on these morning that we do on Mon & Wed evenings. Every once in awhile we’ll go out to a nice restaurant, go see a movie, go to a local event, or go to a farmer’s market.

    On Mon & Wed, we go to bed together at the same time, but if DH doesn’t fall asleep by the time I’m asleep, he’ll get up and have a snack, watch TV, play some music, and play video games before he gets tired enough to go back to bed. All other nights, he comes to bed after he gets home and I’ve usually been in bed for 1-3 hours by then. Tues is the exception since he works 3rd shift – we don’t get to sleep together on that night, but I sometimes join him for his nap after I eat dinner.

    So far, this schedule works for us because we get a lot of ‘me time’ inbetween the times we get to spend together. Every once in awhile, DH will hang out with some of his guy friends on our usual nights together, but we always spend at least 4 hours together on the nights we both have off. Once our baby boy is born – only a couple weeks left! – everything will change, but hopefully we’ll still get to spend time together as husband and wife. We’ve got a lot of volunteer babysitters for those nights

    Post # 15
    282 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Our week nights are very short. Husband works 4-12.5hr days, so he is gone by 5 am and home between 730-8pm due to commute.  I am home by 4:30 so I make dinner, make lunches and clean up then do homework or something until he is home. He gets home, showers, eats dinner and is in bed by 830-9pm. We live for the weekend !

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