Post # 16
I grew up in the Church of Christ, which makes the Baptist denomination look super liberal! There is definitely no drinking or dancing. For us, its different, because while we intend to respect and honor my religious upbringing, neither of us are currently practicing that faith and so we don’t have any personal qualms about drinking or dancing. We’re having a separate after party so we can drink and dance with our friends.
For you, I think its clear you believe dancing is alright, but you just don’t want to upset your pastor. I honestly believe you can disagree with your religious leaders and still respect their guidance and be a part of their congregation. As others have mentioned, Protestantism was founded on being able to draw your own conclusions from the Bible, while Catholicism is more dogmatic. If you want to have dancing, and you believe its okay, I say don’t worry what your pastor thinks. This is YOUR wedding, not an opportunity for him to teach your church about marriage and weddings through you.
I would also talk to him soon about the fact that you don’t intend to invite many from the congregation… it does seem that he expects your wedding to be an example, and for that to happen, your fellow church members would have to attend! It’s clear you don’t want that, and that’s perfectly fine, but make sure you are on the same page with your pastor so there isn’t any confusion.
Post # 17
Godly is between you and God imho.
I was Baptist for many years and attended a private Baptist school from 1-12 grade. Thus, I know it by heart.
My ex husband was also Baptist and when we became engaged he made it clear he wanted us to attend his church. By that time I’d switched denominations (I’m Methodist now) and was iffy about marrying in the Baptist church but loved the minister there and also loved the wonderful people in our young marrieds class.
What was a “go” for that church was having a respectful service. Our minister gave an outstanding sermon (is it called a sermon at a wedding?) and I was allowed to use several “secular” songs for the ceremony (songs from Phantom of the Opera on harp and a beautiful song from “Jekyll and Hyde” was sung as well).
Our reception (my idea) was not at the church and we served wine, beer, and champagne but had no hard liquor though. We had a dj and everybody danced and had a great time. Our sunday school classmates who were invited danced as did our teachers too.
Just find out in the wedding handbook at your church what is allowed vs. what is not. My minister of music then loved the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, and knew we weren’t using it for a sinister plot, but to bring extra beauty to a wedding so he was cool with that.
Post # 18
I come from a baptist background and also my dad is the senior baptist minister.
I have been to more baptist weddings that I can count on fingers…. and the running trend is.
Music down the aisle, 1hr ceremony, singing about three praise songs, exchanging vows, message from minister, item while the bride and groom are signing the register and then a fun song that bride and groom walk out too.. I went to one wedding in our church and the had the song.. ‘the son of a preacher man’ ‘I would walk 500 miles’ ‘ the theme to shrek’ and so on.
Afternoon tea usually in the church for those congregation who like to be there for support.
Reception at night, dinner, dancing, rock and roll… good times and a little bit of alchohol. Usually just white wine and beer. But not overkill. Bride and Groom get there first dance..
All over red rover by 12 midnight. Bride and groom leave at 11pm.
thats about it I think *shrugs* every one of ‘baptist’ weddings have pretty much been the same.
hope it helps!
Post # 19
Hmm…if you really want to dance and anticipate tha the Church may not agree; how about have a reception at a separate location from the ceremony?
Post # 20
This is not in direct reply to the rest of the issues you raise, but to the title question:
I consider a Godly Christian wedding to be one that honours the Lord and keeps him at the centre. Where you have prayed about and obey your convictions on matters like alcohol and dancing, and can joyously celebrate in His presence with a clear conscious.
We will have alcohol and dancing at our wedding (less than 2 months to go now!!) – we go to a Baptist church, but are fairly ‘non-denominational’ Baptists (as is the church), if you will.
In our wedding, we are having two bible readings, plus our pastors mini-sermon, probably a couple of hymns, and we are also asking our friends and family to pray over/with us at the end of the ceremony. Our whole day is about joyously giving thanks to the Lord for what he has given us, and becoming married in his sight and in obedience to him 🙂
Post # 21
We are focusing on worship to our Father. While there will be secular music played, we will be playing some worship songs.
Instead of doing a unity candle, we will be washing each others feet (I know bees, it sounds weird.) But we wanted to do it because Christ commanded us to and we want to symbolize our want to serve each other and our Lord. (John 13 12-17) While we do this “Hosanna” by Hillsong United will be played.
“After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, ‘Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.'” John 13 12-17