(Closed) what do you call you In Laws?

posted 11 years ago in Family
  • poll: How do you address your In Laws?

    Mr. and Mrs. Doe

    John and Jane

    Mom and Dad

    I cleverly avoid calling them anything!

  • Post # 53
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I would love to call them by the first names, but culturally that is so taboo (and very few people call each other by their first names in regular conversations).  I call his parents a polite form of mother and father in Korean.  I don’t even call his siblings and their partners by their first names because they have special titles.  He calls my mum and sister by their first names though.  It will be interesting to see at the wedding when cultures collide and his parents and my mum have to negotiate what to call each other.

    Post # 54
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I cleverly avoid calling them anything to their faces! lol I do address thank you notes & cards to “Mr. & Mrs. In Laws” I have no idea what’s going to happen after we get married. They won’t let me call them Mr. & Mrs. anymore 🙂

    A lot of people call them their grandparent nicknames… its not anything grandma or grandpa-ish, so I could always go that route without it being weird.

    Post # 55
    Member
    4381 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

    I call them by their names, but I avoid it too at times. I still feel like I should be using titles, even though they have never let me do that!

    Post # 56
    Member
    3538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I dont call them anything at all. I barely see FHs dad and his mum lives 4hrs away, so I dont really have much to do with them or have to call them as they are not involved in wedding plans.

    wierd, when i think about it. Id probably call his dad Mr.. so and so and his mum by her first name.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2470 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I call them Mr and Mrs (First three letters of their last name)

    It’s his aunts and uncles that I cleverly avoid calling them anything haha

    Post # 58
    Member
    316 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I use their first names and sometimes I call Future Mother-In-Law “mom” or “other mom”, but they are pretty informal and Future Mother-In-Law loves me to death so I think they would be okay with whatever . 

    Post # 59
    Member
    1385 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I started out calling them Mr and Mrs, but they really insisted a QUITE a few times I call them by their names, so there it is. :o)

    Post # 60
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    For the first year we were dating I called them Mr. and Mrs. (last name). But then they told me that made them feel old and weird, and it was too formal (I was raised to address people’s parents that way, that calling them by their first names was disrespectful). So they told me to call them by their first names, and now I do.

    However, I think my fiance wants us to call each other’s parents “Mom” and “Dad” once we are married, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. He can call my parents that if he wants, but I’m not doing it with his. As some others have pointed out, I already have parents, and I just feel those titles are too special/meaningful to go calling someone else’s parents that. No matter how good my relationship with my in-laws may get, it’s never gonna be like it is with my real Mom and Dad.

    So, for me, first names it is! 🙂

    Post # 61
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    I generally just call them first names, but I kind of avoid referring to them as anything when I can. Fiance sometimes calls my parents mom and dad, which I love, but he usually only does it when talking to my sister and Brother-In-Law since that’s what they both call them. I don’t think he’s ever actually said it TO my parents.

    Post # 62
    Member
    2530 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I call them by their first names. WHen FIs grandpa was alive I called him Grandpa because I dont have any grandparents anymore and I felt really close to him. I cant imagine calling Future In-Laws mom and dad….

    Post # 63
    Member
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I started out calling my ILs from my first marriage by their first names.  Later, their grandchildren invented pet names for them, and I gradually started calling them by those pet names.  We joke that I got my ex-husband’s parents in the divorce.  We remained close until their death this past summer–just before my second wedding.

    Post # 64
    Member
    666 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I voted John and Jane, but I do kind of avoid calling his dad by any one name.  The guy answers to 3 different things and no one told me which one I was supposed to use, so I’m not really comfortable with any.  He has a first name, a nickname derived from his first name, and a nickname derived from his last name.  I call him his full first name, but I think I might be the only one that does.  It’s just too weird.

    Post # 65
    Member
    1188 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    This post is so funny!  I’m glad I’m not the only one.  I’ve always called FI’s mom, dad and step-mom by their first names.  Then on Christmas his mom told me she’d be honored if I would call her “mom.”  It was very sweet of her to say, and I absolutely adore her, but I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it.  Plus, I wouldn’t want to offend my mom, or her daughter, and I feel like I might if I called her mom.

    Post # 66
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I use my fiance’s parents first names when addressing them. It’s kind of awkward though because he calls my mom Ms. LastName/manages to avoid calling her anything.

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