(Closed) What do you call your FMIL?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 15
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I never called Future Mother-In-Law “Mrs. xxxx,” but I call her by her first name…they offered that I could call them Mom and Dad, but I’m not that kind of person.

Post # 16
Member
12340 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I usully dont call her anything… like, I’ll just start talking to her once I have her attention.  I refer to her as “your mom” if Im talking my husband or his sisters.  I wouldnt call her Mrs so and so cause it sounds too formal, but I cant bring myself to call her by her first name either, cause you dont address elders by their first name in my culture… and I’m not about to call her “mom” .. so I’m stuck in a weird place.

Post # 17
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Usually hello, excuse me, is it okay, and the most frequent one *awkward noise*. My FI’s family is very different from my own. Different race and upbringing. I call people Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so or Ms. Blah. Even with my aunts and uncles I say aunt whatever or uncle bloop. Fiance calls his aunts and uncles by their first names. That is taboo to me lol. His mom told me to call her by her first name but its hard lol.

Post # 19
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I call her by her first name… always have! 🙂

Post # 20
Member
25 posts
Newbee

Had to add this, I never really called my fiance’s mom anything, just waited until I had her attention like some of you. Anyway, I recently wrote on one of her cards “First name, …” I thought since I was her soon-to-be-daughter-in-law it would be fine. It did not go over well. She told her son privately that she liked to be referred to as “Mrs…” (she is divoriced and not a Mrs., which confused in the first place and was why I decided to use her first name) And then brought the whole thing up at a family dinner, which was most awkward dinner ever.

Post # 21
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m pretty sure Fiance was the ‘oops baby’ and he is 7 years older than me, so Future Mother-In-Law is old enough to be my grandmother. I really don’t feel comfortable calling her by her first name, but also don’t like the idea of Mrs. Lastname. , I’m *supposed* to call her by her first name. She signs cards to me with her first name, so if I really need to address her as anything (like on a tag for a Christmas gift that I’m giving her without FI), I’ll use her first name. If I’m speaking to her, however, I just try to avoid calling her anything or I’ll settle for something like Dear. Since we got engaged Mama Lastname has popped out a few times when referring to her, but still can’t address her as such. Calling her Mom is out of the question. Fiance and I have actually discussed how neither of us could imagine calling each other’s mothers Mom. At least we are consistent! lol

Post # 22
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t really call her anything, but to other people I call her “dh’s mom.”

Post # 22
Member
2200 posts
Buzzing bee

By her first name!

Post # 22
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

by her first name

Post # 22
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee

When I speak to her, I use “FirstName”

When I refer to her when speaking to DH, I use “Mama” (we use “mom” for my mom).

When I write in a card – I’ll put “FirstName” – if the card is from both of us – I’ll use “Mom”

On the other hand – DH calls my mom “Mom” – which tripped her out for a long time (since all her other in-laws use her first name).

Post # 23
Member
1707 posts
Bumble bee

Well her given name is Margaret. I call her either Maggie, Mags, Mamma Mags or Margaret Mary is I’m pretending to scold her. Were pretty close though so it works.

Post # 24
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mean. 

That was the nicest word I could post.

Post # 25
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m in the same place.  I’ve called her by her first name, I’ve referred to her as my FI’s mom or your mom or Mrs. FI’s last name when talking to other people.  I’m just not sure what to do and nothing feels totally natural!

Post # 26
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

From the get go she said I could call her by her first name, so that’s what I call her.

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