What do you call your in laws? POLL

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What do you call your in laws?
    Their first name : (225 votes)
    90 %
    Mom/dad : (25 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m not married (or engaged yet) but I have completely avoided calling my boyfriend’s parents anything for the 3.5 years we’ve been together. He told me to either call them mom and dad or auntie and uncle and I just don’t feel comfortable with either of those options. He told me that after we get married he (and his parents) would be very upset if I didn’t call them mom and dad. I just can’t call them that as it would make me and my parents extremely uncomfortable and it would offend my parents. It’s a weird cultural difference and I don’t know what to do. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    8323 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    emsie :  

    First names but only because they asked me to. Otherwise it would  have been Mr and Mrs . They are Australian and easy about first  names etc .

    My h. called my mum by her first name straight off, she accepted it but  was  a bit stiffly English about it at first.  I think dad would have been fine  , but he died  just before I met h.,  to my eternal sadness.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2579 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    My future in laws are divorced. Future Father-In-Law is remarried. For all three parties, it was their first names very shortly after I met them.

    I think about 7 years in a casually started calling his mother  mama every once in a while, that’s what comes up on my FI’s phone when she calls. Now that we are engaged I go back and forth between her first name and mama. Her mother has always been referred to as babulya which is the Russian equivalent of granny.

    My mom REALLY wants my Fiance to call her mom but he won’t. She’s pretty sad about it. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    7905 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    There’s not an “other” option in the poll! Even though we’ve been married for awhile, I’m still not sure what I’ve decided. I know they’d be happy with either option, but it’s so hard to decide! I wish there was a term of endearment designated for the in-laws as a happy medium. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    1716 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I avoid calling them anything. First names is weird and disrespectful to me. Mom and dad is weird. It’s a dilemma of life. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I call them mom and dad. I’m their long lost beloved daughter, takes 42years before my husband found me…

    Post # 22
    Member
    9688 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    dreamreve1 :  How is calling someone thier name disrespectful? It’s thier name.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1716 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    hikingbride :  it’s my culture and how I was brought up. It’s just not something I do. It’s disrespectful to me but I don’t think of it as disrespectful for others who aren’t brought up this way. Hard to explain. Even my parents friends became aunt and uncle because that’s how our culture is. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I call FI’s father by his name. I have parents and it feels weird to call his father dad.

    Post # 25
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    i call them by their first names. 🙂

    Post # 26
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee

    Mama. FIL has passed away.

    It’s a cultural thing for them, though. So calling her by her first name is not appropriate in their culture.

    Post # 27
    Member
    684 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve known my in-laws since high school, and it just occurred to me that I don’t call them anything and have no idea what I should call them, lol. Definitely not mom and dad though. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I actually call them mom and dad in law. And they sometimes call me daughter (I think because they have no daughters) or daughter in law. My dad in law said, “you know, you’re my fav daughter in law” and I was like “I’m your only one” 😂

    Post # 29
    Member
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Well, this is a point of contention between my Future Mother-In-Law and I.  I refuse to call anyone mom or dad except my parents (including any form in any language), and in their culture it is considered extremely rude for me to call them by their first names, so…I don’t call them anything.  If I need to get their attention, I just have my Fiance do it, as we haven’t been able to come up with a compromise.  Whenever I introduce them to people I simply say Fi’s mom and dad. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    First name basis, although his grandma is Grammy 🙂  He calls my mom Mama (emphasis on the last A, we’re Hispanic).  He decided to do that on his own.  My dad passed away before I met my husband.

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