Post # 16
I’m not married (or engaged yet) but I have completely avoided calling my boyfriend’s parents anything for the 3.5 years we’ve been together. He told me to either call them mom and dad or auntie and uncle and I just don’t feel comfortable with either of those options. He told me that after we get married he (and his parents) would be very upset if I didn’t call them mom and dad. I just can’t call them that as it would make me and my parents extremely uncomfortable and it would offend my parents. It’s a weird cultural difference and I don’t know what to do.
Post # 17
First names but only because they asked me to. Otherwise it would have been Mr and Mrs . They are Australian and easy about first names etc .
My h. called my mum by her first name straight off, she accepted it but was a bit stiffly English about it at first. I think dad would have been fine , but he died just before I met h., to my eternal sadness.
Post # 18
My future in laws are divorced. Future Father-In-Law is remarried. For all three parties, it was their first names very shortly after I met them.
I think about 7 years in a casually started calling his mother mama every once in a while, that’s what comes up on my FI’s phone when she calls. Now that we are engaged I go back and forth between her first name and mama. Her mother has always been referred to as babulya which is the Russian equivalent of granny.
My mom REALLY wants my Fiance to call her mom but he won’t. She’s pretty sad about it.
Post # 19
There’s not an “other” option in the poll! Even though we’ve been married for awhile, I’m still not sure what I’ve decided. I know they’d be happy with either option, but it’s so hard to decide! I wish there was a term of endearment designated for the in-laws as a happy medium.
Post # 20
I avoid calling them anything. First names is weird and disrespectful to me. Mom and dad is weird. It’s a dilemma of life.
Post # 21
I call them mom and dad. I’m their long lost beloved daughter, takes 42years before my husband found me…
Post # 22
dreamreve1 : How is calling someone thier name disrespectful? It’s thier name.
Post # 23
hikingbride : it’s my culture and how I was brought up. It’s just not something I do. It’s disrespectful to me but I don’t think of it as disrespectful for others who aren’t brought up this way. Hard to explain. Even my parents friends became aunt and uncle because that’s how our culture is.
Post # 24
I call FI’s father by his name. I have parents and it feels weird to call his father dad.
Post # 25
i call them by their first names. 🙂
Post # 26
Mama. FIL has passed away.
It’s a cultural thing for them, though. So calling her by her first name is not appropriate in their culture.
Post # 27
I’ve known my in-laws since high school, and it just occurred to me that I don’t call them anything and have no idea what I should call them, lol. Definitely not mom and dad though.
Post # 28
I actually call them mom and dad in law. And they sometimes call me daughter (I think because they have no daughters) or daughter in law. My dad in law said, “you know, you’re my fav daughter in law” and I was like “I’m your only one” 😂
Post # 29
Well, this is a point of contention between my Future Mother-In-Law and I. I refuse to call anyone mom or dad except my parents (including any form in any language), and in their culture it is considered extremely rude for me to call them by their first names, so…I don’t call them anything. If I need to get their attention, I just have my Fiance do it, as we haven’t been able to come up with a compromise. Whenever I introduce them to people I simply say Fi’s mom and dad.
Post # 30
First name basis, although his grandma is Grammy 🙂 He calls my mom Mama (emphasis on the last A, we’re Hispanic). He decided to do that on his own. My dad passed away before I met my husband.