Post # 1
At my future parents-in-law house right now and everyone is talking about what I plan on calling them after the wedding!! Both my parents are alive, together, and very much in the picture so I’m wary to call them “mom and dad”… What do you call yours????
Post # 3
I call them by their first names. I simply asked my MIL what to call them, and she said first names. My parents both call each others’ parents “mom and dad” even though they had their own still living.
Post # 4
I call them by their first names. I don’t think I’ll ever call them mom and dad
Post # 5
First names here too. My husband calls my parents by their first names. I think maybe it’s a generational thing? My parents & aunts/uncles call their in-laws Mom and Dad.
Post # 6
@MrsNerdy: And @linz09: MIL says I can call her ‘whatever makes me comfortable’ and FIL has the same first name as my Mr. so there’s no way I’m going to be comfortable calling him by his first name… Right now I call him “Mr. I” and her by her first name but I think they want something more….
Post # 8
Ugh, we discuss this *all* the time.
I’ve known FI’s parents since I was about 10 years old, so calling them something other than “Mr. and Mrs. ________” feels so weird. I call them by their first names when speaking *about* them and they’re not around, but it makes me uncomfortable to speak *to* them that way.
They’re really wanting me to call them something other than “Mr. and Mrs. ________” though, so I dunno what I’m gonna do. I *refuse* to call them Mom and Dad. That’s just… ew to me. Haha.
I’m considering mixing the two and calling them “Mr. (First Name)” and “Ms. (First Name)”. Weird, or no?
Post # 9
I totally agree that “mom” and “dad” are reserved for my actual parents. I’ve only known my FFIL and FMIL for a few years though, so it would be really weird to go that route. For awhile I called them Mr. and Mrs. LastName but then I also had to call my FI grandparents the same thing, and that got so awkward! I was hoping some day my FMIL would just say, “Call me Firstname!” but that never happened. Eventually I just started doing it anyway, so now I call them by their first names.
@rachelmichelle- I do think it would be odd to call them Mr Firstname etc. but only because it reminds me of a little kid with a camp counselor! If you’re comfortable with it though, its totally fine. I think it’s most respectful to call them what they want to be called. The other benefit to using first names, IMO, is that it makes you sound like you’re on more of an equal footing with them since you’re now an adult.
Post # 10
I call my MIL “mom” and my FIL by his first name.
I call my own mom “momma” or “mother” so it doesn’t seem strange to me to call MIL mom. My DH appreciates it.
Post # 11
I call them “hey you!” No just kidding. I don’t actually call them anything. All I ever say to them is ‘Hola, como estas?” They answer, ask me how I’m doing and I say “muy bien.” Other than thank you and see you later, we really don’t talk much. His parents really don’t talk much to anyone haha.
Post # 12
I’m still not sure what to call them… They want me to call them Mom and Dad, but those names are reserved for my own parents… They aren’t comfortable with me calling them their first names, so I guess I will just call them Mr and Mrs. ____ for the rest of my life.
Post # 13
Just by their first names
Post # 14
Mom and Dad. DH and I immediately started calling each other’s parents Mom and Dad the minute we spoke to them following our wedding. It was a little awkward the first couple of times, but it became very natural soon after, and I know it means a great deal to both sets of parents that we have decided to do this.
Both DH and I are extremely close to our own parents, but it really hasn’t taken anything away from our relationships with our own parents to call the other person’s parents Mom and Dad. When BOTH sets of parents are together, it can get a bit confusing when one of us says “Mom” or “Dad,” but there are very few occasions when both sets of parents are together. In these instances involving a group setting, we will clarify by using some qualifier (Mom and Dad Lastname or Last Initial.)
ETA: For those of you whose FI’s/DH’s/In-Laws really want you to call the in-laws Mom and Dad, and you’re not necessarily opposed to it, but it just seems too weird for you to do so, perhaps it would help if you consider that, by calling them that, you’re really just using it as a name. You, and they, clearly know that they aren’t your actual parents. It’s more of a term of endearment and affection as well as one of respect. I used to sometimes call the moms of some of my best friends, “Mom,” too, because I was close to them, and I’ve called the aunts and uncles of some of my best friends, “Aunt” and “Uncle,” too, even though they aren’t really my aunt or uncle. Also, when DH and I discuss our parents, this distinction is clear as well. If I want to know if he’s asked his mom something, I don’t say, “Did you talk to Mom about that?” I will say, “Did you talk to your mom about that.” If I tell him that I spoke to my mother, I generally will say that I talked to my mom. However, when I see DH’s mom, I call her Mom, because she is now my MIL, and I consider that to be her name now.
Post # 15
@thenextmrsi: I could never bring myself to call mine “mom” and “dad”..I just call them by their first names and it’s never been a problem. You can always try to start nicknames. The pastor and his wife have lots of sons and daughters-in-law and they always call them “MomP” (her name starts with P) and DJ (for “dad Jim”
Post # 16
I don’t call them anything. We don’t really talk ever. Behind their backs they are “control freak” (fmil) and “@ss” (ffil)…if you knew them you wouldn’t blame me. Especially after fmil suggested I kill our child while she was sick to avoid medical bills. FI dosen’t speak to them either really. His grandparents raised him because his parents love their money more than him. We see them 2-4 times a year or so.