Post # 32
Not married yet, but I call them mom and dad also. It’s really his step mom but his real mom was about useless. And she’s already said she can’t be bothered by the wedding (her only child).
Dad and (step)mom have been loving and caring since I met Fiance. I didn’t really call them anything in the begining, but between Fiance calling them mom & dad and how they treated me I can’t imagine calling them by their first names and I think they would be offended by Mr/Mrs Lastname. Even before we got engaged they were totally accepting of me and not only made me feel welcome but like part of the family, plus cared about what I wanted. And good family is hard to come by if you weren’t born with it! (and I don’t mean money-wise either!).
When I was a kid my parents had an open house policy. You behaved, you could hang out and even spend the night (especially if home sucked). Most of my friends never called my parents anything but “mom” or “dad” (and this was in the deep south where miss and mister were pounded into kids). It was a sign of respect and admiration, and even more so acceptance when someone let you do it. So I see it a lot like that… if you’re treating someone like family, it’s ok to call them by a family term.
Post # 33
I try not to get myself into situations where I have to refer to any adult much older than me by any title. Weird, but true. First names seem awkward (because even though I am an adult now I never see myself on equal footing as them) and Mr & Mrs. seems stuffy (I’d even avoid using those titles when I was a child unless it was towards a teacher.) I’ve found that most people respond to “Hey.”
But I do realize that I need to get over this as far as my future in laws are invoved, because I do see them a lot. And now I’m stuck in this really weird in-between phase. If I want to speak to his mom, I use Mrs. (and feel awkward doing it, but it also doesn’t feel right calling her by her first name). But if I want to speak to his dad, I use his first name, and then always feel like maybe I shouldn’t. But for whatever reason my Fiance calls his mom mom, and his dad by his first name. So I’ve heard it so many times it’s become normal for me, and it just kind of slips out.
My Fiance calls my parents Mr. & Mrs., and I think thats ok with everyone involved. I have no idea why everything’s so complicated on my end of things. Once I share the last name and become a Mrs. his last name as well, it’s just bound to get worse lol.
Post # 34
First names – I always have done. Also my and his parents call each other’s in-laws by their first names too so I never really questioned it. My dad once told Mr CL that he’d thump him if he ever called him Dad because he’s got 4 kids of his own and doesn’t need another one! I also call his grandparents by their first names, but they’re very young (only in their mid-60s) so it might be different if they were older. My grandparents get called ‘M and M’ by everyone, so he’s adopted that.
Post # 35
Just by their first name – I don’t think I will ever call the Mum and Dad
Post # 36
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
Now that I think of it, my dad always called my moms parents “mom and dad” but my mom always called his parents by their nicknames “Toots and Mim”. I currently call my Inlaws by their first names. Mother-In-Law calls her Mother-In-Law by her first name, and I’m not sure what Father-In-Law calls his Mother-In-Law. He might call her mom. I’m just gonna stick with their first names though for now.
Post # 37
I call them by their first names, but within the last 8 months or so I’ve started calling Future Mother-In-Law “mama jane.” Once we got engaged she started sending me sweet cards and texts and signing everything “mama jane” so it’s kinda stuck. I love her with all my heart, she’s done so much for the two of us over the years so I have no problem adding the “mama.”
I think the best thing to do in a situation like that is to let things progress naturally. Stick with what makes the most comfortable. Don’t force a nickname or term of endearment just because you feel like you have to. It will probably just make it more awkward for you. It will happen on it’s own over time. Good luck!
Post # 39
We call each others’ parents’ by their first names.
Post # 40
We’re not engaged yet but I’m not sure about this either!
He calls my parents Mr. and Mrs. [mylastname] to their face and “your mom/ dad” when talking to me. I have always avoided having to call his parents anything to their faces- though once or twice I have called SO’s stepdad by his name to SO’s mom. When talking to SO, his mom is “your mom” and is stepdad is either “your stepdad” or “[name]” and his biological father (somewhat estranged) is “[name]” if he happens to come up. One of these days I’ll have to come up with something… And he can’t call my parents Mr. and Mrs. [mylastname] for the rest of our lives!
Post # 41
Don and Sharon when talking to them. In private its mr. personality and psychotic bitch. Hubby secretly loves these nicknames.