What do you care MOST about as a wedding guest?

posted 9 months ago in Guests
Post # 61
13889 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Food and drinks.

Having a +1 is irrelevant in my circle — it’s standard for all single invitees to be given a guest, and obviously couples are invited together.  Anything less than that is gauche in my social circle.  I would consider declining a wedding where I didn’t get a +1 or was invited solo.

Post # 62
191 posts
Blushing bee

1. Being able to hear/see the ceremony. I hate it when the seating is either far back or when the bride/groom/officiant are not mic’d.

2. Good music. If no one is on the dance floor I think that breaks the mood of the party and can sometimes never come back.

3. Cake. Shit cake stays with you bc you know that’s something that will be talked about. 

4. Decor and ambience. I think this is very important and can really make a wedding memorable. We’re here to celebrate someone close to us so I feel it’s important that the wedding reflect those people.

Post # 63
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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Marie2 :  Honestly, I only have 1, and that’s a good relationship between the bride and the groom.  I want to be crying while they have their first dance or exchange vows. 

The most expensive wedding I’ve been to, with the amazing food, drinks, venue and decorations felt flat because the bride cared more about her wedding than her groom.  They are now separated, not even 2 years later.  Pretty sure everyone could pick it on the day.

One of my favourite weddings was a very frugal affair, where the bride wore a sundress and the groom wore traditional clothes.  There was very little food and not much space in the venue.  But the bride and groom are obsessed with each other and their little boy was absolutely stoked to watch his mum and dad get married.  It was an honour to be a part of, and we just went to the pub for a quick feed, in the gap. 

I think some of these comments are shameful.  A wedding is a celebration, not a commercial affair.  Things go wrong, people have budgets, differing levels of family support, etc.  No wonder some people feel the pressure to go into debt for their weddings.

And I had a fairly expensive wedding since I was lucky enough to have my father contribute financially, so I’m not taking this personally. 

Post # 64
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

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rosadiaz : I think some of these comments are shameful. 

I completely agree, the amount of people saying they talk about bad food or shit cake for years is insane.  These people are supposed to be your loved ones and the only thing you are going to talk about years later is how disappointment you were with the beef or the cake?  I’m glad I didn’t have anyone that unsupportive at my wedding.  I would never dream of bitching about someone’s cake when they are trying to celebrate the most special day of their life. 

Post # 65
3004 posts
Sugar bee

I’m surprised at many of the comments on this thread. The wedding is about the couple getting married and not about the guests. To be invited to a wedding at all is an honour. This doesn’t mean that guests shouldn’t be treated well but honestly if the most important thing to you about enjoying a wedding is the food, drink, music or atmosphere then you maybe really shouldn’t be there.

So here goes – the best things from my perspective.

1. The wedding ceremony itself. It’s a massive commitment by two people who love each other. (My husband always looks pleased and approving at this point, which considering that we’ve been married almost 32 years means that I must have done something right.)

2. The fun of greeting the couple as Mr and Mrs for the first time.

3. The speeches, especially if they are deeply proud and affectionate as well as funny.

4. The dress. (Yes, I do have a shallow side.) I enjoy seeing the bride’s dress and everyone else dressed up. I enjoy dressing up too. Out with the jeans and in with an elegant frock.

5. The chat. It’s fun to talk to the couple’s friends and relations.

6. Champagne to toast the couple.

7. Food, drink, music, atmosphere, decor, cake. 

It’s interesting that, as some have pointed out, the cost of a wedding does not directly correlate to a great day. It’s the personal bits that count. I’d definitely agree. 

It’s hard not to get sucked into the commercial side of a wedding and other people’s expectations,  but if you are getting married then spend a little time in thinking how you can make your wedding both personal and meaningful. And, if you are a guest then your role is to be gracious and to ensure that the marrying couple have as wonderful a day as is humanly possible. It isn’t just to dance your socks off and stuff yourself with wedding cake while critcising the decor.

As for destination weddings – bring them on.

Wedding + travel adventure? A perfect combination!


Post # 66
551 posts
Busy bee

Food. Decibel level (I hate going home with my ears ringing and my throat hoarse from shouting). Honestly I couldn’t give a hoot about the location/decor/theme/choreography, as long as the couple in question is enjoying it and not looking tortured. It is important to me that the Bride’s head is not exploding 🙂

Post # 67
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Food. Once went to a wedding where we had to travel for more than 2 hours. Wedding was on a weekday so we needed to take time off work. When we got to the reception, they ran out of food. On our way home, we got mcdonald’s since we’re so hungry.

Post # 68
397 posts
Helper bee

1. Open bar 2. Food (doesn’t even have to be fancy stuff. Just so there’s something to eat. I’m not picky.) 3. Good DJ/band/music. 

Although, if 2 and 3 are subpar, chances are I won’t even care as long as there’s number 1 😉

Post # 69
397 posts
Helper bee

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EllyAnne :  I can’t believe a guest came up to you and complained about his steak! It’s not like you or your new Darling Husband cooked it yourselves 😂. I think if someone did that at my wedding, I’d probably just give them major side eye, walk away, and continue on with my awesome evening. I can’t believe some people! Haha

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