(Closed) What do you consider to be "quality time"?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am with you. I need proximity AND interaction.   Just proximity or just interaction (phone conversation) independent of the other is not quality time.

Going to the movies- Not quality time

Eating dinner and talking = quality time

 

Post # 4
Member
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@LadyBlackheart:  I have never heard of 5 love languages. It sounds interesting, and I will have to look it up!

To answer your question though, I agree with you – quality time doesn’t just mean “time” together. It means actually interacting with each other, engaging with each other, showing an interest, doing a favourite activity together, and being dedicated solely to your time together. If I am distracted by making dinner, answering work emails, or doing any other personal task that takes attention away from my FI, then I don’t consider it quality time either. It’s not enough to be in the same room – it has to be meaningful.

Post # 5
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@LadyBlackheart:  As far as I’m concerned, if we’re in the same vicinity – it counts as quality time…..being together, not stressed out and generally just enjoying our space together is about as good as it gets.  I don’t need him to be talking to me, to be happy that he’s right next to me….plus its been five years since we got married and I haven’t been alone in our house for more than three hours since….so yeah, I don’t mind not being the center of his attention.

Post # 7
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@ThreeMeers:  +1. I agree. Quality time means interaction. So it’s not just sitting in the same room while I am on my laptop and he reads. We need to be engaging with each other.

Post # 8
Member
8997 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am with your SO.

My husband and I are huge gamers. We can both be playing totally seperate games, in the same room, and that’s quality time. We’ll often brag, or show off to one another, or ask questions, ask the other to google something. That’s quality time. Sitting in the same room, I could be watching TV and he could be on his laptop, quality time. We don’t always need to be doing the same thing for us to be having quality time.

Post # 9
Member
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

For me its only quality time if we are interacting or enjoying something together. If we are in bed watching one of our favorite shows together then that is quality time, even if we aren’t talking. If we are in bed watching tv, but I’m on my laptop and he is on his iPad, then I don’t consider that quality time because we’re both distracted and doing our own thing.

Post # 10
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m pretty easily satisfied 🙂  I’m happy to hang out with him while he plays viedo games and I can warm my toes under his leg while watching a chick flick on my ipad.

Post # 12
Member
3783 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LadyBlackheart:  My love language is Touch. I want to be petted ALL THE TIME. But as long as I can at least feel his hand on mine, that’s enough for me. We don’t have a day off together, so our quality time is in the car when he takes me to work or before we go to sleep. 

You should have him read the book and find out what his LL is. It will give him a better understanding of how to communicate love to you and give you a better understanding of how best to communicate love to him 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LadyBlackheart:  Being near someone does not mean you are even acknowledging or aware of eachother’s presence. So no, zoning out on a book while he lays video games would not be quality time. I would consider that time to yourself.

Eta: I would consider a shared activity as quality time,  so enjoying a movie together is quality time. Thankfully, I’m not in desparate need for quality time. I’m quite content doing my own thing and just taking a bteak for some affection, for me affection is very important.

Post # 15
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@LadyBlackheart:  Well according to the 5 love languages…

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

 

So, according to this test, you crave quality time that includes his undivided attention. While the definition of quality time for others is different, this test supposedly proves YOU PERSONALLY require more undivided time spent together 🙂 I agree with you too…I can’t call watching TV/playing on our phones/on our laptops quality time so much as going for a walk together or eating/cooking together 🙂

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