(Closed) what do you do about people that haven’t RSVP’d yet?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8941 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would start calling the people myself and tell them that you need to know your final number by x date and you need an accurate headcount.  Be polite with them and hopefully it’s just something they overlooked.

Post # 4
2039 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would wait until Tuesday and then start calling or emailing. I would say, “I just wanted to see if you will be attending, as we need to give our caterer the final head count.”

Post # 5
591 posts
Busy bee

I would wait to follow-up until the end of next week because some people put their responses in the mail on the date of the deadline. By Tuesday, I would send the list of stragglers to your sister-in-law so that she can begin hounding the non-responders.

Post # 6
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Wow, your RSVP deadline hasn’t even passed yet, and you only have 6-7 guests who haven’t returned their card? Congratulations, that’s an incredibly good response from your guests! Many brides end up with a list as long as their arm of people they have to hunt down to get an RSVP out of them. You shouldn’t have too much trouble with 6-7, so just wait until Tuesday, and give them a polite-but-firm call or email.

If you get to about a week before the wedding and they haven’t sent an RSVP card, *and* you have no firm commitment from them in an email or a phone call, then put them in the “not coming” pile.

Post # 7
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First off I’m amazed that you only have 6-7 people who have not RSVP’d and you still have a few days! When our deadline passed over half the people didn’t respond!!!

I would say go ahead and start calling. If you didn’t get any today chances are your not going to get them Monday and calling a day or two early isn’t a big deal (I get annoyed when people call with more than a week before their RSVP is due). At least you only have a few numbers to call!

Post # 8
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Get on the phone the day after the replies are due and call everyone who hasn’t responded and ask what their plans are. Let them know that your caterer needs an exact headcount. If you are still unable to get ahold of them, count them as a no.

Post # 9
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s nothing!  On our reply date, we still have 80% outstanding responses.  I gave it two days past and started calling people.  It shouldn’t be too big of a job just for 6 people.


Post # 10
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow. You’re actually doing really well. I got to RSVP deadline and still had 10 people that AM who had not responded. (Ours is a small wedding of 70) By the end of the day, though, 8 of those had called, emailed, texted or sent the RSVP without me bugging them. Give them to the day at least, then give ’em a nudge.

Post # 12
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Call them and specifically ask if they will be able to join you – there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Post # 13
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We didn’t have quite a few invites back, probably 6-7 like you.  We had our parents call since they were closest to them.  We were suprised at that since we got the invites out pretty early.  We have the same Wedding day-have a great one!

Post # 14
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Call them, only call once however, leave a voicemail if they do not answer and if it possible email them. After that, it is assumed that the guests are not coming.

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