(Closed) What do you do about RSVPs?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would contact them and say you haven’t received back the RSVP yet and can they please mail it back immediatly since you need to notify the venue. Don’t assume anything and the only thing that is tacky is people who don’t rsvp

Post # 4
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I called, emailed, texted and my rsvp deadline is today. I have received a majority of them back though and will assume the rest are coming since only one person has declined….

Post # 5
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yea, you have to contact them to ask. Just because they have not RSVP’d does not mean they aren’t coming. A lot of people are really bad about that!
We had RSVPs with yes and nos come in weeks after the RSVP date had passed.

After the date passed I enlisted the help of my Mother-In-Law to contact people on husband’s side of the family.
On my side I made sure my mom got a definitive (semi) answer from people.
Friends we took care of ourselves.

Even though numbers still fluctuated right before the wedding. So unfortunately I would suggest leaving seating to the last thing you do. Even then leave room for play.

Post # 6
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You can put something on your wedding website or even send an email asking them , saying your venue needs a count for the food and its very important for them to notify you.

Post # 7
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

We designated different people to hassle them until they RSVPed. We made a list of my mom’s family/friends, my mil’s, mine, and my hubby’s. That way we each just had a few, and it wasn’t as awkward calling people I don’t know as well.

My hubby’s friend RSVPed before the invites went out verbally and then didn’t RSVP, and we still called her. Better safe then sorry, and paying for a meal we didn’t use.

Post # 8
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have just dealt with this, myself. I feel your pain!! It is obnoxious that people cannot send back an already-stamped and pre-addressed RSVP card. We have called the people that we did not get RSVPs from. Like you, I am doing assigned seating, so I simply needed to know who will not be coming. It is not tacky to call and ask. It IS tacky to not have sent back your RSVP card! Give them until the Nov 6 deadline, and then start making phone calls. Happy Wedding Planning!

Post # 9
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

When you established November 6th as your deadline, did you just say, “Return by 11/6”? Because to some people, 11/6 goes into their head as the mail-by date, which means that you may still get a few stragglers up until 11/10 or 11/11.

Also, there are some people who consider the verbal response their RSVP (and when I think about it, although it’s a big pain to have paid for postage and yadda yadda, I can understand why they might think sending in an RSVP on top of a verbal “yes” (or no) is redundant.

But, to echo what everyone’s said, after 11/6, you are free to make courtesy calls/emails to whomever is a non-response. If you leave messages, be sure to give them a second deadline (“Please let me know by Saturday” or whatever) because “as soon as possible” can mean the next minute or the next month, depending on who you’re dealing with.

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