(Closed) What DO you do if a child starts screaming during your vows?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Continue on and hope the parent isn’t a dense brick that doesn’t know to remove their child!

Post # 4
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@philodendron:  if it were as bad as that case and it’s interrupting your vows, I think pausing, turning, and smiling at the offender will let them know that you will calmly wait for them to leave the room.

 

That is of course, if they are at all aware of how rude they are being.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It would really depend on how the parent handles the situation. If they remove the unwelcome kid at the first sign of an outburst then I’d carry on as usual but if they continue to sit there and allow their crotch spawn to shriek through the whole thing, I would have stopped and given them the death stare to let it be known that I mean business. I’m not above public humiliation on a day as important as my wedding so if someone was so incredibly disrespectful, they don’t deserve to be handled with kid gloves. Let ’em have it and make them feel like the douchebags they are. 

I should add that I have very little patience for children so had this happened at our wedding, I can only imagine what my actual reaction would have been. I think everyone knew better than to defy me with their uninvited offspring. 

Post # 6
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

Personally, I would just have someone (parent? usher?) tell them before the ceremony that this is a child-free event and to please leave and return without the kid. Just like I would with any uninvited guests, have someone stop them before they sit down and explain that they were not invited and unfortunately there is not room for extras. But if that’s not an option…. Give it 10 seconds so other guests can shoot the stink-eye. Have friends prepared to do so from all sides of the room just in case. If that doesn’t work, pause the ceremony and look over your shoulders yourselves until they leave. It’s 1000x more embarassing for them than for you, and you only get one wedding.

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@philodendron:  I speak in front of crowds of men that aren’t always paying attention to me on a regular basis. I’d probably take a page from my work repertoire and just look at them and offer to wait until they’re finished.  Not necessarily to make the parent feel bad, but i think it might almost be reflex at this point. 

Post # 8
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Designate someone ahead of time- your day of coordinator, or a parent or friend to handle any ceremony interruptions.  They can approach quietly and say excuse me why don’t we step outside until little ______ calms down, or could you turn off you phone etc depending on the interruption.

Post # 9
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This happened during my ceremony, and unfortunately for me, there was pretty much nothing that could be done.   The kid was my flower girl and her parents are my husband’s brother and his wife, both of whom were in our wedding party.  She started screaming at the beginning of my walk and didn’t stop screaming until about 30 seconds into the ceremony when my mother in law got up to take her away. A very kind guest decided that it wasn’t right for my mother in law to miss her son’s wedding ceremony and took her spot a minute later.  It was horrible and one of the only things I regret about my wedding day: inviting any children.  I did not invite any children except my niece and her brother, but they were two too many. 

Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I can’t stand the sound of baby cries. I think my head would jerk back automatically to death stare at them. 

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Personally, I would have stopped prior to walking down the aisle and had a member of the wedding party remove her and the child.  I don’t mean to sound harsh.  I love kids, but if you are going to be so rude as to ignore my wishes and not have the common courtesy to leave on your own when your child is screaming, i would delay my entrance and ask her to leave the ceremony.

Post # 12
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

If I had thrown a child-free wedding, I would have designated people in advance survey the area and ask the parents / children not to enter during the ceremony. If they were so disrespectful to insist going ahead, if the child started crying during the ceremony, same surveyors would be asked to speak to that parent, and if that didn’t work, I’d look over my shoulder at the offending noise makers, and hopefully they’d get the point. I’d speak with the officient before hand to let the person know to stop the ceremony if child screams got too bad.

Post # 13
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Pinkmoon:  I also can’t stand the sound.  I think it’s also because I’ve never really been around kids.  

If that happened to me, I would probably turn around and make a joke to my guests, something along the lines of “I hope he’s not trying to object!” I think that would get the message across without making the other guests uncomfortable. 

Post # 14
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would definitely stop the ceremony and look politely in their direction so they got the idea to take the child elsewhere. I love children and work with them everyday, but I have little to no patience for children causing a commotion in a place they weren’t welcome or invited to in the first place.

 

Post # 15
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I had a childfree wedding and it was glorious.  Only one person tried to bring a child (2 of them!) when they phoned me 2 nights before to say they couldn’t get a sitter (to be fair, theirs had cancelled).  The mom (my friend) asked, “How does that sit with you?” and I just replied, “Honestly, it doesn’t.  Sorry, Erin!”

She found someone (bless her heart), but if she hadn’t, she simply would have had to miss the day.

I know on the other thread, someone just decided to be a selfish asshole and bring their kid anyway after lying about it and saying they wouldn’t, so in that case I think I would have stopped the ceremony and smiled at the parent politely until they removed the kid from the room.  I’m sure we would have gotten a laugh out of it, but yeah, there is no way we’d just carry on.  I didn’t wait 30 years and spend most of our savings to have some dickwad’s kid scream through the whole thing thankyouverymuch.

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