(Closed) What do you do if a guest lists on their R.S.V.P. that they will be at the …

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i dont understand why you would skip dinner but attend all the other stufff…. what if you promise to sit her somewhere so there will be no conflict?

yikes….  as if you dont have enough to deal with Ms H

Post # 5
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Wow, that’s a tough call. I’d check with your coordinator on that one. In my experience, no one stays at their seats after dinner. Everyone is up socializing while all of the dancing and cake eating is going on, so it might be hard to set out a place setting somewhere. Plus, most of the tables would probably be full.

Post # 6
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Aw, heck, it’s got to be a real conflict. Who’d miss dinner but turn back up for dessert and dancing? I think she really wants to be at your wedding or else she wouldn’t rsvp for the return after dinner. Can she just find a seat when she comes back?

Post # 7
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Surely you can slide another chair in at her preferred table once she returns for dessert? Things will be loosening up by then, and like another poster said, not many people stay in their seats by the time dancing begins.

Post # 8
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

what if you say your caterer says all or nothing; just have her come back after dessert


let her know your dilemma, any guest in their right mind should NOT be stressing the bride with their special needs; say either everything or nothing due to table setting and catering requirements she cant argue if its a catering rule


I feel your pain 

Post # 9
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i’d set her up for cocktail but not for dinner or dessert. she may not get back exactly in time for dessert. if she does, she can get a slice of cake..

also if she’s not going to be at dinner, she doesn’t get to pick who she wants to sit next to.

maybe that’s kinda harsh but it’ll be too difficult to accomodate it all otherwise.

Post # 10
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

Yeah, I say she doesn’t need a place setting, since no one will be using them by the time she gets back!

Post # 11
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with nybride09 above… with 160 guests they don’t all get to pick who they’re sitting with, expecially if they aren’t even staying for dinner…

If dessert is directly following dinner you’re likely going to have to find a place for her to sit… frankly I’d stick her where ever you have room. It’s just dessert.

Post # 12
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wouldnt save a seat for her – everyone is up dancing and having fun if she wants to sit she’ll be able to!

Post # 13
46 posts

i agree with the prior posts… no need to set a space for her.  Once dinner is over everyone just sits where they please anyway.

Post # 14
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m with the other responses… don’t worry about a designated place. Once dancing begins no one really sits at their place. Plus, not everyone even eats their cake.

I think that she is being as considerate as she can by letting you know that she won’t be present for dinner (which is often the most important thing to keep in mind for counting RSVPs)

Post # 15
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I wouldn’t worry about giving her an assigned seat… I imagine a handful of your older guests will probably peace out once the real partying starts happening so she can just find an empty spot. If it’s that big of a deal, I’d probably give her and her party a seat in the back of the venue lol. What the heck, you don’t come to the dinner but give instructions as to who you want to sit with? Nuh uh. You don’t get to choose!

Post # 16
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

What a PITA. Like, “let me include you in my drama because you don’t have enough to worry about.”

Don’t assign her a seat, and don’t factor her into your other counts. If she doesn’t need a meal, she probably doesn’t need to be counted for other things with your venue.

The topic ‘What do you do if a guest lists on their R.S.V.P. that they will be at the …’ is closed to new replies.

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