Post # 17
Thanks, Bees! I am especially touched at how personal and gentle you all were with your advice.
I voiced my opinion long ago and have told her many times since that I will be there no matter what she decides. I’ll continue to do that and as many of you said, she’ll come to her own conclusions despite any input, whether negative or positive.
I love her to death and want the best for her. I wish she could see that she deserves respect and a partner, not someone who feels like they are making big exceptions for her so he should be allowed to do one or two bad things every once in a while.
Thank you, you’re a great sounding board.
Post # 18
What a bad predicament you are in…..yikes….well, I see it like this…she recognizes, but is not truly acknowledging that this union could end up in the "D" word….especially b/c his behavior sounds like he’s not really ready to settle down….however, it is not really your place to step in as you shoulda woulda coulda long before a week before the wedding….it’s too late..and in this instance better late than never is not fitting…..b/c you wil seem like you are trying to break them up…your friend is pregnant so all she is thinking about or is most likely thinking about is the baby growing in her belly….and how the father should be her husband…
She is passive/aggressive…she lets him go out, but she’s upset about it…or at least I am thinking she told you she is….so…you could very well try to stop the wedding, but you will held accountable even though 5 yrs from now she may thank you….it’s tough…really tough….you gave your 2 cents and she didn’t want it…..what is a girl to do….I would talk to her family and see what they have to say…..sorry if I didn’t help much~
Post # 19
You’re giving what your friend needs most which is your support for whatever decision she makes.
A shoulder to cry on, clean your ears to get ready for her stories. And of course being there for what could be the happiest day of her life.
Hang in there with her =)
Post # 20
I agree with the side that says you need to say something!! I wish my friends had and my ex wasn’t a drinker or into drugs, just immature and had no sense when it came to money. Our relationship was tumultuous – always either fighting or making up. We just weren’t right for each other. But I was pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing. We were young and I was afraid I couldn’t support the baby on my own. Things didn’t change after the marriage, the baby or the 2nd baby 2 years later. And I was stuck with his mother. We divorced shortly after #2 was born. And now we are good friends and raising our kids together with his wife and my Fiance. My kids don’t stand a chance with 4 parents!!
I don’t regret the decisions in that I have the two most beautiful children in the world and it lead to the events where I met my Fiance. But I wish all of those people that came to me AFTER I had made the decision to leave him and figure out how I would do it on my own and said to me that they would have helped and supported me and the baby had come to me BEFORE I married him. It would have saved many difficult years and a divorce.
She’s making the wrong decision!!