(Closed) What do you do if you DON'T have an orgasm?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: What do you usually do if you have sex but don't orgasm?

    Fake it

    Not tell my partner, but not fake it either

    Tell my partner, but be OK with not having an orgasm

    Tell my partner, and have him give me an orgasm a different way

    This never happens to me. I always have orgasms.

  • Post # 17
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    “Well, looks like it’s not happening tonight *shrug*, your turn!” lol

    Post # 18
    2177 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I don’t think I’ve ever told him, mainly because he knows when it happens or not.  I don’t fake it, what’s the point?  Not having an O is ok with me, sex is about more than the finish line.

    Post # 19
    9806 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I orgasm almost every time if I’m on top, so often I can just get on top and not have to worry about it.  But if I’m feeling lazy (which is about half the time lol) and don’t want to get on top I don’t really care if I don’t have one.  So I don’t really say anything, I’m sure he can tell.

    Post # 20
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I can only come with clitoris stimulation, not penetration alone. Using a vibrator while he’s inside me works most of the time, but not always. If it doesn’t happen, he notices, so there’s no point in faking anything (that wouldn’t solve anything, anyway). I don’t make a big deal out of it. I love sex with him with or without the O. Sex is amazing, and the O is just a bonus, really.

    Post # 21
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee

    I voted “Tell my partner, but be OK with it,” but it’s not entirely accurate.  I don’t tell him, because I don’t have to; he can tell when I orgasm.  I’ve never had to (or wanted to) fake an orgasm with him.  I have faked them with my two previous partners (one male, one female), and neither were able to tell (gotta love those Keigels!), but I have never felt the need with my SO.  I am totally fine with it if I don’t always orgasm, and I don’t feel a need to pretend.  Likewise, my partner understands that I enjoy sex both with and without orgasms. (Though he keeps a running tally, and if I build up too many “negatives,” he’ll spend some dedicated time focused on “paying down the debt,” so to speak, and get 5-6 out of the way in one session!  He’s a bit obsessive about it.)


    Post # 22
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I give him recovery time then initiate a second round 🙂 

    Post # 23
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    @pictureaccount:  He knows when I don’t and I don’t try to fake it. It doesn’t bother me unless  I was so close, almost there, then lost it. That gets very frustrating, but normally I can enjoy sex with or without the big O.

    Post # 24
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    He gets weird about it when I can’t finish, so I just fake it. Sometimes it’s just not going to happen!

    Post # 25
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Not be that bothered. Sex is far more that the O. 

    I have never bothered telling him – he knows if I have or not.

    Post # 26
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    there is no point in faking because he knows. If he comes and I haven’t and I don’t see it happening I give him a kiss, tell him it was great and dismount. I love to orgasm, but my favorite part of sex is just having skin touch skin lol. He knows that and we are all good!

    Post # 27
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I don’t.  Either way I enjoy it, he knows I enjoy it so it doesn’t really matter if I O or not.  He used to get pouty when I didn’t, but once I told him that not all women orgasm during sex (virgin when we met) and reassured him that I was still having fun and enjoying it, he settled down.


    Post # 28
    1938 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Depends, sometimes I tell him so that he knows something he did or is doing isn’t working for me… other times I just KNOW its not happening and its not his fault and i fake it because I like his technique and i don’t want him questioning it, but my mind or body just wasn’t “there”. 

    Post # 29
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @pictureaccount:  I know this is an old thread, but since I was not the one who revivied it, I am going to comment. I am lucky, my Fiance is a very passionate lover and cares wether or not I have an O. The only time I may hae an issue with not having one is when I am on my period and he can not stimulate me with his hand first. However, he always tries and I usually always have an O, even this time, it just takes a little more work. Like back rubs, mor time on breasts, etc.

    Now other times, he will spend an hour or more (if that is what it takes) either with his hand or his mouth so I cum first. He always wants to make me feel like I am taken care of. If I were to not have an O, though, he would know, but it would not be a big deal. We would just take a rest and try again.

    Post # 31
    4655 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013


    I don’t fake it, but I don’t tell him explicitly that I didn’t. He seldom asks. I often do finish, but when I don’t, I typically enjoy the time anyway, and may finish off myself later if I feel the need to. (If it’s been awhile, I might ask if he wants to help, but it depends if he seems busy or not.)


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