(Closed) what do you do if your husband has a baby by another woman but dont want anymore

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

@bamagirl08:  Did you not talk to him about children before you got married?? 

Post # 5
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@KTBanana:  +1, I guess the smart thing to do in that situation would have been not to marry someone who doesn’t have the same desire for children in the first place…   I guess you can try to change his mind?

Post # 6
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You have 2 choices…..

 

1.  be an active step-mother to the child he has

2.  find someone to marry who WANTS the same things you want.

Post # 8
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think you need to tell him you want to be a mum.  This is a life defining decision – can you got through the rest of your life without a family of your own?  I think if he’s moving the goal posts then you need to make him see how important this is for you – it might change his mind when he realises how serious you are about it.  I think you guys need to go for some couples couselling and discuss this in a neutral environment.  I’m sorry you’re going through this – it must be really difficult xx

Post # 10
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well that’s a different story.  He has now gone back on his word if he led you to believe that he wanted kids and now changed his mind.

 

Here’s the deal….. if he doens’t want kids DON’T have kids with him.

 

Decide if this is a deal-breaker for you.  If you REALLY want kids, then you need to end the marriage and find someone who DOES. 

Post # 11
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

IMO, that’s a dealbreaker.  maybe you should tell him that.  changing his tune after the fact = lying.  “taking time away from his daughter” is a line of crap.  sharing is not the same as taking away.

Post # 14
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If he truly refuses to have kids with yuo, and if you really want to have kids, then that’s a major conflict. I guess you’ll have to decide whether you’d rarther stay married to him and never have a child, or if you’d rather divorce him and find someone else who wants to have kids. 

It sounds harsh, but I think that’s honestly what it’ll come down to if you can’t talk him into having kids. If he changed his mind once, though,maybe you can convince him to change it again.

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