(Closed) What do you do when a couple on the guest list breaks up?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Invite Sally??

    Yes. If you don't, the etiquette police are going to arrest you.

    No. You're not really friends, and you're poor.

    Other (explain in comments)

  • Post # 17
    25 posts
    • Wedding: February 2015

    View original reply
    @SarahTee:  That happened to me.  I was 1/2 of the broken up couple.  The bride and groom invited us both to the wedding, but I was not given a guest.  My ex was one of the groomsmen.  I decided not to go, mainly becuase I also knew the friendship would be over with the couple.  I really liked the couple, but they were really good friends with my ex first.  I didn’t take offense and wanted to be there.  However, I couldn’t bear the idea of being around my ex more.

    Post # 18
    3716 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    @SarahTee:  You invite both with a plus one if you sent a save the date to them as a couple. She declines. We had the same thing happen. If there were no save the dates, then she shouldn’t get an invite.

    Post # 19
    804 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @SarahTee:  I wouldn’t worry about it, don’t invite her.

    Post # 20
    33 posts

    I would not waste money on a “friend” you never see or speak to.  We are having around 100 people coming and that’s only our close friends and family.  Your friend John is in your life, you see him on a daily basis and speak to him all the time, that is what I would consider a friend.  As for your friend Sally and then roomates who you havent seen for 2.5 years, definitely not that is just a huge waste of money.

    Post # 21
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @SarahTee:  when you started out I thought the problem was the of them in the same room and thought: just tell both that the respective other is invited as well and let them figure out whether that’s ok and I not than for whomever it’s not ok needs to stay away. 

    But having tea the rest I really don’t even see the problem 😉 I have to say though that all these etiquette rules here on the bee seem to be way more relaxed in Germany. 

    Now honestly, if there’s a person I don’t consider a friend I’m not even going to think twice about inviting them. We’d like to keep it small (ending up with around 70 people which to us doesn’t even feel small anymore but mid-size with averages around here), so there are a number if people that I am definitely regarding as friends, I think highly of them and they’re way above the “liking stuff on fb once in a while” and I still won’t invite them because we simply dont want to have such a big wedding. 

    It’s your wedding, when you think back to that day ten years from now, you should hopefully still be friends with all your guests and happy yoh shared that special day with them. If you feel already now that this doesn’t apply to some of the people, don’t bother inviting them. 

    Post # 22
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Beach

    If I were in your shoes, i would invite her for old times sake. Even if you are closer now ith john you met him through sally and you were once close! I def. would also take to Sally and tell her that you invited john just so she knows and can make an informed decison about coming, and i dont think she will be coming anyway. But the thing is if you still care about Sally and you are hoping that some day you will patch things up with her you should know that if you dont invite her that the friendship doesnt stand a chance. So it goes far than the actual invite. 

    Post # 23
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I was sally once. By the time the wedding came I had a new bf actually. I declined bc I still didn’t wanna see the ex. I can tell the bride hates me for that. (I went to hs with groom). Oh well.

    I say no need to invite.

    Post # 24
    15278 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If you’re barely friends now and probably won’t really be after, why bother.  Some friendships fizzle and that’s fine.  No need to burst the budget trying to accommodate people that don’t even matter to you anymore.

    Post # 25
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    The truth is – you aren’t really friends with her. I doubt she’d be offended that she’s not invited. 

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