(Closed) What do you do when people gift you things like this?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Holy tulleness batman!

Break the glasses, say your dog ate the guestbook and the pillow. Or “forget” the box at home.

Post # 33
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@WhiteRoseRed: horseshoes are useful for smacking people with though – i was 8, my brothers 10 and 13, i was giving a horseshoe to my uncle’s new bride, but blacked one bruv’s eye and knocked two teeth out of the other before i did so.  Nobody calls me specky-four-eyes and gets away with it!

I have no advice for VM, i can’t stop laughing!!!

Post # 34
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

All that stuff you posted is exactly what my mom likes. She told me she bought a ring bearer pillow and I would bet you that it’s the one you posted. I’ve decided that some stuff just isn’t worth the fight or the awkwardness.

Post # 35
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

you always have me rolling – seriously? who does this?

Post # 36
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

A few of the items, I might try to modify – take the tulle off, maybe add a ribbon or something that actually coordinates and call it good. That might be a good option for the guest book set, but I’m not sure there’s anything you could do to make the pillow ok. The flutes wouldnt be so bad if you took the bows off – and if you dont like the etching (or whatever it is) maybe put a pretty band of vellum around it (Martha has some pretty vellum ideas.)

Then if asked about it, you can say you really appreciate it, but wanted to add some DIY touches to make them more your style ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 37
Member
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d just use it!  It’s funny to me!  I would be light about it ๐Ÿ™‚  Modify it if it truly horrifies you ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 38
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh Virginia you just made me realize how fortunate me and my husband were to not get anything like this.  My Mother-In-Law did offer (and bought) our cake cutter/server set but they were simple and classic, not tacky.  She even engraved our name and wedding date on them.  She asked first and told us to go on-line to see what styles we liked, which I really appreciated.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post like this. LOL!  I’ll be anxious to see how you get around this.  I saw some good ideas up there.  Must we wait until January??? Tongue out

Post # 39
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Return them to a local party store. You are under no obligation to use or keep them, especially if you didn’t want them in the first place. However, you do need to graciously thank the giftgivers with a thank you note of some kind. Since it’s your wedding you are paying for, you decide what is used and what isn’t. They be upset that you didn’t use the stuff, but that is the limit of what they can do and it is rude for them to bring it up and accuse you of anything.

Post # 40
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I need to take a picture of the champagne flutes my fiance’s mom got me.  They might suit someone else, but . . . definitely not me and definitely not our wedding.

We’re going to bring them with us to the rehearsal dinner & use them there & use a pair of flutes my Aunt & Uncle gave us on the wedding day.  We thought that was the best solution to make her not feel like we just threw away her gift. 

So, yea, that is my recommendation for your frilly tulle & tiny rose wedding paraphernalia, rock it at your rehearsal dinner or at a welcome party, if you’re having one, or while you’re getting ready for the wedding.  Basically any wedding-related activity that’s not the wedding ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh, and the glasses have “I do” written on the bottom, so people can see it when you drink.  Bottoms up!

Post # 41
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@OP:  I dug my own karma-grave by laughing at you.  I was gifted a plush fabric picture frame embroidered with pastel-colored wedding bells.  I dare not post a picture.  *sigh*  I know people mean well, but c’mon sometimes things become outdated!

Post # 42
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

LOL reminds me of that movie my big fat greek wedding.

Post # 43
Member
3578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Luckily I haven’t had this happen (yet), but I’ve been busy buying stuff to try to curb it from happening.

My first wedding, I ended up with bargain-bin toasting glasses with a big red glass heart on the stem (red wasn’t even one of my colors), and a Precious Moments cake serving set (I don’t even like Precious Moments figurines). And those were from my mother, so I was pretty much stuck using them.

She’s still been buying stuff for the wedding now, but I’m picking my battles. Yesterday she called to tell me she got a “pretty shell bowl” for my mints. I’ll use it, but even though I’m getting married on the beach, I’m going more towards “modern tropical” (clean & crisp, with the tropical edge being mostly the flowers and palm leaves) than “sand and shells”.

Post # 44
Member
44 posts
Newbee

It seems like little stuff to me that will only get used for a small portion of the day. I would just use it and thank them for their kindness. While I know it’s not your taste, these wouldn’t be dealbreakers (for me) and I would just use them so that no one would get offended. If it is something really important to you, I guess I would speak up and be honest about it, but (call me silly) I can’t see a toasting flute or a pillow ruining your day. Like a pp said, your relationship with your in laws is more important than these items.

Post # 45
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I put them all in a bag and gave them to my friend who just got engaged ;-). HA!

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