(Closed) What do you do when people just don’t RSVP?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You should start calling people that haven’t RSVP’d.  You have to make sure you know the correct count and don’t have to pay extra on the day of the wedding because some people show up uninvited.

Post # 4
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

wait 5-6 days for some more to trickle in (they may have posted them today).  Then start the phone calls/emails/texts.  

Post # 5
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We have already started the process of calling people that we haven’t gotten RSVPs from.  Thankfully there isn’t a ton of them, but it is so annoying.  My plan is that if people don’t get back to us by the date our venue needs a count, then I’m not including them.  And they better not show up.

Post # 6
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would wait about 3 business days after they are due and then start calling people.  Do you have any bridesmaids that you could delegate some of the calls to?  If people show up to the wedding and there isn’t enough food or seats, it may cause some bigger issues (which I would personally try to avoid).

Post # 7
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you don’t hear back from them, get on the phone asap to find out what their plans are. Never assume anything, although some people automatically expect the couple to be mindreaders as to whether they are attending or not when they do not return the reply cards. If you are unable to get ahold of them, count them as a no.

Post # 8
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I say start calling tomorrow or the day after.  I wouldn’t want to wait too long.  And if people have to pay the higher hotel rate because they were bad at RSVPing.  I say, too bad…their fault.

Post # 9
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would start calling in the next day or two.

Post # 11
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

ours were due a week ago and we’re still missing about 35.  I’ve split up the missing ones between Future Mother-In-Law, mother, Fiance & myself.   A lot of people don’t think, misplace it, don’t bother, don’t care or loose it.  It sucks that you spend money on their invite and return card and they may not even see it for more than 1 second.  We had some get lost – they never rsvp’d because they never recieved it!!!

Post # 12
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would start calling people or have the MOB/MOG call them. That’s the only way your going to know for sure!

I have a few family members that even if they RSVP yes my mom is calling because they are known NOT to come even when they RSVP that they are.

Post # 13
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I did NOT start calling. I counted the missing RSVPs as no, unless I was sure they were coming and just forgot. Then I contacted them.

Post # 14
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I can relate; it was a nightmare.  I gave folks about 2-3 days, in case it was still in the mail.  Then I just send one email saying if you don’t get a hold of us, then we regret you won’t be celebrating with us.  That worked for some; for others, I had to send individuals requests.  We finally got a hold of everyone; took about two weeks, so I was more than happy I set the rsvp deadline early to account for this.  Folks are just plain rude.

Post # 15
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

Today is also my deadline and I’m missing six, so I will wait a few days in case people mailed them today and then will start calling.

Post # 16
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are giving them a week after and then calling.  We sent out 110 invites, and probably have 35 back.  Our deadline is Sunday.. ha!  Yesterday we got two!  TWO!  Oh well.  They have till Memorial day, then they are getting phone calls.

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