(Closed) What do you do when people show up that didn’t RSVP?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

This is exactly the reason I’ve told everyone I know to NOT do a seating chart. We had people who RSVP’d that didn’t show up and people who didn’t RSVP who did show up. We had one table that was supposed to be full of 8 people that only had ONE couple at it. The table for “overflow” was full! My biggest suggestion is to have someone at the table where the place cards are who can direct people who don’t have a place card. I actually had a few guests who left because they didn’t have a place card but we DID have a place for them–just no place card.

Post # 4
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I honestly think assigned tables are necessary, other wise it is chaos to try to find a table with the people you know, and if you don’t know anyone it is super ackward.

Anywho, this happened to me. I did assigned tables and a plated dinner and a teenage cousin brought a friend along. Why, I have no idea. It was a pretty much family only event and she knew 75% of the people there. My aunt and cousin never mentioned it. I realised it while we were greeting people after the ceremony. Told the venue cordinator what table to add a chair to, she took care of the rest. Not a big deal at all. The venues make extra food in case this happens. We had place cards so I am sure it was obvious we had no clue this person was coming, or who she was for that matter.

Post # 5
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

ok, I would for sure do a seating chart. If you are concerned about people showing up I would have an extra table for overflow. I would def have your DOC allocate bodies to tables where guests had not shown also.

Post # 6
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This is one of my concerns as well.  We plan on calling/emailing everyone that we haven’t received an RSVP for.  I’ve already thought about how to best phrase it, something like, “Please make sure you return your RSVP card.  Due to limited space and seating, we will only have seating available for those that RSVP.”

And then we’ll have a seating chart on display at the entrance of the reception and if they didn’t RSVP, then their name won’t be on the chart and too bad.  I do like the idea of having one extra table if you can and any “overflow” can sit at that table.

Post # 7
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We had about 5 people show up that RSVP’d no, but I just let them figure it out. Not my problem. Most of them just found the empty seats (because there will be people who RSVP “yes” and don’t show up) and moved them where they wanted to sit. 

It all works out. I know it’s hard, but try not to stress about it. 

Post # 8
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i think by refusing to make phone calls or reach out to people who didn’t RSVP, you are asking for trouble. 

Post # 9
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsTVLover:  I agree with this.  I guess I didn’t see the part where you said you refuse to make contact.

I work with the Post Office on a daily basis and they lose a lot of mail.  FI’s mother’s wedding invite was mailed along with everyone else’s and she received it 3 weeks later than everyone else.  In talking with a close friend, she asked if we received her RSVP, and we haven’t (she said she mailed it a week ago, in the same town).

I would definitely call or email people who haven’t RSVP’d – 1) to make sure they recieved your invite in the first place and 2) just in case they DID send in their RSVP and you didn’t receive it.

Post # 10
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m a control freak, and couldn’t even imagine the chaos that not having a seating chart would start!! I’d ask for an extra table for overflow, and then leave the juggling of parties to your DOC.

Post # 11
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think doing the call/email thing will really help you be able to plan better. Like PPs have said, mail gets lost. People forget or don’t know their plans that far in advance. Some people will show that don’t RSVP and some will NOT show that did.

Also, definitely have an overflow table or a table that isn’t full. Be flexible. It will help you stress out less and enjoy your day/planning more if you aren’t stressing over where people will sit. In the long run, it will hardly matter.

Post # 12
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsTVLover: & @milesbella: I have to agree with both. We had quite a few that got ruined in the mail and people don’t like to call in case they were not invited. So unless I called almost 80 people to find out if they got it originally I will have to wait until a few days after the due date and start calling people.

I have heard some people say they don’t have the itme or don’t want to make the effort to call people and track down RSVP’s, but it is your responsibility if you expect 100 people there and 200 show up and you were not prepared because you didn’t call that is a huge difference!

Post # 13
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am currently dealing with this. My seating chart is finalized for the people I KNOW are coming. There are still a few stragglers who have not responded to not only the RSVP card, but not to follow up calls/texts/emails either and I am just at my wits’ end. Do they not think it’s important to let people know if they will be coming? Fiance told me to “pad” our final count to our venue with 7-8 “extras” in case people “decide to come.” Um, no. Not doing it. I’m not accommodating people who would be so inconsiderate, and I’m not wasting money if they DON’T show. So, right now, there’s just seating for the people who we know are coming. If the stragglers decide to show up, we’ll have to have a table brought in for them, and I assume that will make it obvious to them what a poor choice they made to not respond to ANY of our attempts to get an RSVP out of them. 

Post # 14
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you refuse to chase people down yourself, then delegate the task to your Fiance, your mom, a bridesmaid, etc. I really don’t recommend not contacting people who don’t RSVP. The truth is, people are going to forget, or lose the invitation, or any number of things, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want to attend. You’ll save yourself a ton of trouble later by making a simple phone call.

Post # 16
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@kristie1128: my rsvp cards will say if we have not heard from you by the set date we will assume you a are not coming or b have joined a cult for whom our wedding day is a day of fasting and as such you will not require feeding. ok its a relaxed wedding but the point is still there. 

i will chase the none repliers as [email protected] have said but you do just have to accept that not everyone sees repling as a necessary just allow a little slippage in the seating etc


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