(Closed) What do you do when ure sad and lonely

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
925 posts
Busy bee

I’m not familiar with what’s been going on for you lately, but I’ll tell you what I do when I’m feeling down.

I’ll go for a walk, eat some healthy food, visit funny websites (like dogshaming.com), text or call a friend, hang out with a friend, clean, organize, do some errands.

Post # 3
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

makeuplover:  Girrrrl, you need and deserve some fun.

I’ve had a stressful week leading up to an awful meeting last night that I was dreading and dead nervous about. I took half a day off and gave myself a pedicure, had a special girly shower with a hair mask, and then put some perky songs on and danced by myself while I got ready. It was a small thing, but boy was it satisfying and it put me in a much lighter mood.

What kind of things normally cheer you up? Are you by yourself ATM?

Post # 4
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee

🙂  I got this weird routine I do whenever I get lonely–I’ve made this up as I go along since highschool.  So:

(1)  Do you have a FAVORITE funny show or movie?  For me, whenever I am sad, I pop in my Psych series DVDs and start watching.  I also pop in the Firefly series and Serenity movie DVD.  It’s really hard to keep sad when I got those going on.

(2)  I leave the house and find ways to talk to people.  I know my friends are older now and have more time-constraints, so I use this time to find a place to volunteer–this will give me new people to talk to, something to focus on other than myself, and it’s a way to get out of the house.  Also I do some good while I’m at it (WIN-WIN). 

(3)  I start going to the gym.  It’s tough to get out of bed when your heart is literally breaking, but if you could drag yourself to a gym, the released endorphins during exercise could do you some good.

(4)  Reach out to family or friends even if their time is limited.  Ask them for coffee, talk about your problems (even if only 5 minutes) and just know that they are in your life. 

(5)  Take time to heal.  Sometimes just keeping busy and trying to get it together is good.  But, taking time to heal and staying home to cry, mourn your past, and daydream about a good future is good too. 

In any case, good luck OP and hang in there. 

Post # 6
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

makeuplover:  I definitely know what you mean. Sometimes something that is a little more ‘consuming’ can be helpful to give yourself a break. 

I think the other PPs have given great strategies for dealing with these sorts of emotions over a longer period of time and making sure you have a healthy lifestyle, but I’m assuming you’re after a bit of a on the spot pick me up or distraction for tonight, in the middle of your very trying situation. 

If so, it might sound really random but one thing I often have enjoyed is going on youtube and watching random things – particularly videos on make-up and hair styling. It gave me a bit of a boost to learn tips that would be fun to try out next time I was getting ready (and make me feel my prettiest!) and I also found that trying to follow the instructional aspect was more distracting than just watching a tv show etc. 

Post # 7
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I hear you! I’m in a similar boat. At a stand still, not able to physically do much. I watch bad tv. Play online, stalk weddingbee and pet the puppies. I read two silly autobiographies last week. Maybe reading a quick book will distract your thinking and put issues into perspective. 

Post # 8
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Sorry things aren’t going well. When I’m feeling crummy, I eat and watch tv in a mopey fashion. A more effective approach is exercise though. I oftentimes feel better after a good workout or bike ride.

Post # 9
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I looooove to splurge on some fancy bath products and pamper myself.  I put a candle under some oils (rosemary + mint is my favorite), pour a glass of wine, and soak in a hot tub full of bubbles or a bath bomb and get lost in a good book while the yoga music Pandora station plays in the background.  All of this followed by a good cry (sometimes), lotion, and a full night’s sleep in nice clean sheets.

Sometimes learning a new thing is really distracting and fun!  Suggestions: calligraphy (buy a cheap pen and pretty paper from Michaels and watch some tutorials online and practice), crocheting (again, cheap stuff from Michaels and tutorials), paper crafts like mixed media cards …

Post # 10
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Sorry things are still up-in-the-air. You’d think your soon-to-be-ex hubs would be more proactive about getting the paperwork filed. 

Escapism works well for me. I play a video game or read a book to take my mind off things…

Or I go outide and take a walk out in nature…

Or I call my best friend or my Dad. They usually make me feel better. 

Post # 11
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

makeuplover:  I’m alone… A lot. I love on the other side of the country from everyone I know, in a place where meeting people and making friends is not easy. I know your situation is a tad different and there’s more you need to take your mind off of. Dont feel bad about treating yourself a bit, Netflix and Wine to go with your Chinese (if you drink!). A good book, a bath, even taking up a new hobby if you have that much time (I thinknyour previous thread said you are a student?) 

Are there any girlfriends or friends you can go out to dinner with, or stay in a chill with? 

Post # 12
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Nazareth Hall

makeuplover:  oh honey, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I don’t know what you’re going through but my husband used to travel for work and wouldnt be home months at a time. I tried soooo many different activites to distract myself from it. Being at home alone was always the worst. If you can try taking a nice spa day; get a facial, massage, mani/pedi… the works. You could try taking up a hobby, I took up potography and now if I’m bored or just want to see something beautiful I take my camera and go on a road trip. I also like crafts and wine so I would go enjoy a glass of wine or a tasting or I would grab a canvas and start painting some art for our home. 

Hope you start feeling not so lonely soon!!

Post # 13
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Craft store and cat videos.  Heading to the craft store usually gets me in the mood to create, which is pretty much the opposite of stagnancy and apathy that generally seep into my psyche when I’m feeling lonely and down.  I confess that I especially love the kids craft kits – almost always something new and easy to learn, and I can later adapt it for my more refined (or so I tell myself) adult crafting capabilities. 

And cat videos… yea.  An Engineer’s Guide to Cats is a great video, and there’s a whole series of them.  Cat Friend vs. Dog Friend cracks me up every single time I watch it, which I’m not even sure how many times that’s been.

I’ll sometimes hop on Facebook and if I have a friend that I can see is on, I’ll just start talking to them and try and catch up with them.  Or I’ll look through old albums.

Hope these ideas help!

Post # 14
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

Sometimes I’m more in a mood to marathon watch TV series versus a movie. For some reason I am able to distract myself better with them.

 

I like Pinterest for pinning mindlessly without having to think. I will look for new hairstyles, makeup, outfits, stuff to make my place cute.

 

EXERCISE. I can’t believe what a difference a hard workout with weights is for my depression. I really feel it when I miss. Regardless of what’s going on, having more energy and looking a bit more fit always helps!

 

Sites like this are good, or sites/pages for any general hobbies you might have.

 

I really found the Loveshack relationship boards extremely helpful for support during my last breakup. It wasn’t just a bunch of heartbroken people commiserating, but there were also people who had been there before who were extremely supportive. Lots of tough love and great advice.

 

Take up a new hobby that isn’t too crazy involved. I had a really nice camera and live in a pretty town that I kind of take for granted. I started to go out once or twice a week to take some pics and actually  got some decent shots. Bonus was even a bit more exercise from walking around doing that.

 

Cook NICE meals for yourself. At first I was so upset it was all takeout for a week or two but after that I started to enjoy preparing nice meals for myself. It was a lot healthier and took up a good chunk of time!

 

I will try to think of some more. I don’t really know many people where I am so if you have a few friends you will be even more ahead. Remember, no matter how crappy you feel it really won’t feel like that forever. I promise. I’m very proud of you. It gets hard reading posts from people on here who seem very sweet and kind that deserve someone nice having their hearts broken by asshats. I know you will meet someone wonderful when you are ready!

Post # 15
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

This is a little “Self Care” worksheet I keep around, and give to friends when they’re feeling blue!  Sometimes it’s the little things that make you feel more human that can get you out of a slump.

When all else fails… www(dot)zooborns(dot)com  This website features baby animals, and baby animals only!

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