Post # 1
So I seem to come here to vent but you ladies always help!
We are not inviting people to the wedding with “and guest” unless people have been in a committed relationship,are older, and bordering on engaged. Our numbers are through the roof as it is. I have an aunt who thinks this is wrong of me to prevent her teenage son from bringing his girlfriend of 4 months and that he should get “and guest”. She said this flat out!
Well…my Uncle (who I adore), her husband, has lung cancer. She knows I would never deny him. I got an email from him today saying that he had to fly to my wedding as he is too sick…and he is worried about his 19 year old son driving alone to the wedding and “could he just bring his girlfriend?”
I am so angry! I feel like I am being manipulated. Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
Yes, you are being manipulated. How you handle it is up to you. I think you can just write back your explanation:
“If we allow Cousin to bring his girlfriend, we will have to make exceptions for ALL of our guests, and that is not financially feasable for us. We are sorry for the inconvenience, but no, Cousin cannot bring his girlfriend. We completely understand if this makes it logistically impossible for him to come since he would be driving alone, and we will miss his company if that is the case.”
At least you have the benefit of replying via e-mail so you’re not so “on the spot!”
Post # 4
First of all, I’m so sorry about your uncle 🙁 but I have to say that’s pretty f**ked up of them to do. I think you’re definitely being manipulated here. It’s up to you whether you want to stand your ground or cave in. They’ve got you pretty good on this. I’m sorry 🙁
Post # 5
That is really frustrating, but I wouldn’t let it get to you. I’m sure if you tell your uncle and explain that this is the rule for guests that he will understand. Especially since you can’t make an exception for all the other people invited to your wedding.
I just want to make sure I’m reading this correctly. Your Aunt and Uncle will be flying, but your cousin will be driving? Why wouldn’t everyone just drive?
Post # 6
You might be being manipulated. Your uncle may have a valid concern but his wife probably asked him to email you. I understand why you’re annoyed. My FI’s uncle keeps getting people to ask us for his teenage daughter to bring her new boyfriend, in my case, we continue to say no. I think you have to decide what’s more important, having one less guests, or obliging your uncle. That’s a tough call, I can see why you’re mad.
Post # 7
i agree! that is kinda shady. i say no means NO
Post # 8
Hold up! I don’t quite understand. Was your Aunt’s issue the driving first? Or is this the run-around the original denial?
Post # 9
They can’t drive because of my Uncle’s chemo. He is really ill. Thank you for your concern for him. He is doing well and should kick it!
I need to add that my cousin will be driving with his sister she just doesn’t have a liscense yet.
Post # 10
Aunt was mad as she wanted him to bring his girlfriend of 4 months who she loves! She invited us to dinner over x-mas so we could meet her to try and get me to change my mind about inviting her.
Post # 11
OK this might be bad advice but I’d stall. Say you are trying to limit your +1’s because you’re already over how many people your place can accomadate but if you get enough no’s then you’ll try to invite some SOs.
Post # 12
Oh troubled…that is eexactly what my dad said! I think I might do that.
Post # 13
So he doesn’t even have to drive alone in the first place? His sister is going to be with him?
I would be upset if they did that to me. I hope everything works out. I’m really sorry about your uncle as well. 🙁
Post # 14
We aren’t allowing guests either, it is FAR to expensive…I’m sure this will happen to us too but we aren’t there yet… wishing you the best of luck and a beautiful wedding,
Post # 15
No. I absolutel agree with MightySapphire. If you allow him a guest, hen other family or friends could get very upset that you didnt allow them one. You cannot make an unfair exception, especially if he’s not really going to be alone in the first place.
Post # 16
I would definitely stick to my +1 rule in your case and not allow your cousin to bring his girlfriend. He is not driving alone, his sister will be with him, and the guilt trip from your Uncle was totally uncalled for.