(Closed) What do you do when you feel lonely?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
640 posts
Busy bee

I dont really have much advice but I feel you! I live 24 hours from home, so sometimes it is hard when i am feeling lonely as my girlfriends/ family and i have an 11 hour time difference to battle with! I normally hear from my best friends every day over messenger and we make it work with the time difference.. still would be great if i could call them for a chat when i felt like it! There’s nothing like a chat with your best friends when you need cheering up!

I have found it hard to meet new people since moving away, but it has made Fiance and I much closer, i spend more time at the gym, i normally feel better after a good workout.

I dont really know what else i do, as i dont think there are many options. I’m just coutning down to us moving home next year! Do you have any hobbies / activities you enjoy? Maybe there are some clubs or classes you could join to meet new people? Or take up a new hobby which you are interested in. 

Post # 3
Member
47341 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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Katie1992:  You can make new friends at any age, especially in your 20’s. My ex-husband used to be transferred every year. Every year I had to make new friends. I learned quickly that because I was the one who needed friends (the people living in our new town already had friends), it was up to me to reach out and make the first move. You can’t wander through life waiting for someone to ask you to do something/go for coffee etc.

What do you like to do? Play sports? Find a meetup group. Volunteer with a school or children’s sports league. Extra coaches are always needed. You will meet the parents and have the opportunity to make new friends.

Do you go to the gym? Smile at the people you see all the time, then ask someone if they would be interested in having  ajuice or coffee after your workout.

What volunteer opportunities are there in your town? Can you volunteer at a foodbank? do daycare while single moms attend a community program? what work does the church do in your community? Can you be the one to restart the life group at church?

Post # 4
Member
3901 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I don’t have time to feel lonely I’m so busy my head is spinning. I miss Fiance when not with him, sometimes during my workday otherwise I dont feel lonely. Occasionally I miss my fakily who lives like 30 mins away on public transit.. and our schedules really dont mesh so i barely ever see them… i miss them sometimes. Gonna go see them tomorrow 🙂  other than that I sooooooo rately ever get ALONE time, it’s very precious. Being around people all the time is exhausting (I’m a nurse) at home there is my big dog who needs lots of attemtiom and exercixeand a very needy cat (*sigh* i though cats were just there… not this one, always wants attention) so even if I’m home and Fiance is not I am never really alone. So no loneliness here

Post # 5
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Feeling lonely is totally normal, and healthy…we are made to be with people and have relationships with people! I am assuming and hoping that this loneliness is not turning into anything more serious like depression, etc. Maybe try starting a new hobbie by yourself? Could get you more friends? Maybe try to skype one of your friends who moved away? Try volunteering at your church, or working out. Find things that you like to do alone! 

Post # 6
Member
3901 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Get a big active dog. You will never be bored or lonely again.

Post # 7
Member
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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Katie1992:  I think you’ve had some good advice so I won’t repeat what others have said but I just wanted to chime in and say I understand how you’re feeling and am sending you some virtual support and friendship.

Also, when I’m lonely I like to catch up with my good old friends, such as Jim and Pam (The Office), Leslie (Parks and Rec), Abed and Troy (Community), Jess, Nick and the whole apartment crew (New Girl)…. Lame? Maybe, but it works for me.

🙂

Post # 8
Member
600 posts
Busy bee

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ana2017:  I second that! My big baby always keeps me company!

Post # 9
Member
7895 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree it’s harder to make friends as a grown up, but it’s not impossible! Coworkers or neighbors could be great people to build relationships with. 

Since you’re alone now with your husband out of town, now is the time to do all the things you can’t do when he’s around! My husband is going out of town for a work trip this week, and I’m going to boil some crab legs and buy some cocktail shrimp. I love that stuff but don’t eat it that often because DH doesn’t eat shellfish. 

Post # 10
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

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ana2017:  haha omg yes!  I’ve made so many friends because of my dog too!

We move a lot, so I pretty much talk to any and everyone now.  I’ve managed to make  a circle of friends in every city we’ve lived in just by putting myself out there.  Good luck OP!

Post # 11
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My SIL decided to learn to golf and play bridge after her husband died. She’s made a lot of friends that way. Is there anything you would like to learn?

Post # 12
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My husband recently went out of town for several days in order to help his brother remodel his house, and I took that opportunity to catch up on missed tv episodes, volunteer at our local animal shelter, and go for a nice long drive in the mountains to enjoy the fall colors while listening to my favorite jams. I’m a huge book nerd too, so I also spent time at the public library and perusing local used book shops. 

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