Post # 1
I have friends and family, I blog, and I have a wonderful FH, but there are somethings that I just feel like no one can relate to me and my everyday life. Does that ever happen to you?
This is my for instance: mommyhood. I wanted to have a baby, I wanted to be pregnant, and now that my baby is here. I’m unhappy. Not always, but sometimes. It’s a tough job. Tougher than I could ever have imagined and I’ve been thru some tough times let me tell you. I’ve been to Iraq twice and that was a piece of cake compared to caring for my two month old. I know it sounds ridiculous to say, which is why I can’t say it to anyone that I know. I mean, how crazy do I sound? I get so sick of myself sometimes. There are times when I’m positive I have been a bad mother and all I can do is cry about it.
Anyhow, just wondering what anyone else thinks.
Thanks In Advance
Post # 3
It doesn’t make you a bad person. Caring for another person is a JOB and it doesn’t make you weak that this is harder than being in Iraq. Try coming on the Babies board here, I’m sure they can help you feel better too!
Post # 4
I know exactly how you feel! Babies are hard and even with help you can feel overloaded.
When I feel like I can’t talk to anyone I generally put on some praise and worship music… I let it get my mind off of what it’s on and back to the things it should be.
It’s absolutely normal to have emotions like that after having a baby…. I remember sitting in the middle of my bed crying for what seemed like no reason, but overwhelmed with lonliness… yep that was me, all while trying to take care of my son.
Don’t draw to into yourself, and be sure to remind yourself how great of a mother you are and that this too shall pass… I can tell you now that my son’s older so much is easier.. but in other ways it’s harder. Still, I wouldn’t change it at all.
Hang in there 😉
Post # 5
I don’t think you sound crazy at all. You might very well have a case of post pardum depression, which is very common. YOu should look for a “mommy and me” class or group. I know my sister who also had post pardum, found these types of groups really helpful. She went to a breast feeding group and lots of women were going through the same thing. It’s ok and very normal.
Post # 6
I am a dork. There I said it.
I have a VERY close group of on-line friends. We met elsewhere and have a private forum to ourselves. Some of us have met, some not. But we know each other as well and in some cases better than our “real life” friends. That is where I go when I cant talk to some one in real life.
Post # 7
well when i saw the title of your thread i was going to say, i come to weddingbee! and it looks like you are doing the same, so kudos to you! although i cant totally relate because i have yet to become a mother, i CAN tell you that u are definitely not alone in this. i have several close friends become mothers in the past few years and i have heard from several of them how HARD it was and wayyy harder than they ever imagined. in fact, i have noticed a trend that they pretty much go into hiding because they dont want to show everyone how much of a difficult time they are having. so i would encourage you to reach other to other mother friends you have, you will probably find you are not alone.
Post # 8
I went through the same thing when my son was born. I joined a parenting site (I can’t rememer the name of it, I will get back to you) but what I found is that A LOT of mothers go through this and knowing that and chatting with moms online going through the exact same emotions as me really helped!! Let me do some searching and I will be back.
Post # 9
http://momtomomchat.com/ This isn’t the one I was a member of…for the life of me I can not remember but this one is similar…these sites are alot like weddingbee but all mommies!! And all moms go through this at some point in parenting….especially with newborns! You are not alone! PM me if you ever need to chat. : )
Post # 10
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: wow, I did not know there was a babies board on here! Learn something new everyday!
Post # 12
Thank you Bees. For not making me feel any crazier than before. It’s really not always so hard or so tough, but there are moments when I am weak. I spoke to my FH, I should mention he’s deployed, and shared my feelings. It helped. I’m also going to seek counseling and not just say I will.
You’re all wonderful.
Post # 13
I think as women, we tend to back ourselves into a corner a lot. We have close girlfriends while we’re single and then when we get a SO/BF/FI/DH we back off of our friendships and really invest ourselves into our romantic relationship. Fast forward a couple of years and when you have a rough day you feel like you have no one to turn to because you’ve sort of shut yourself off from the world. No one I know has relationships like Sex & The City with their girlfriends.
Honestly, I’ve cried to Darling Husband that I have no friends when I want someone to talk to and I feel like I’ve bent his ear enough. I have friends but I always feel like they have other worries more pressing than whatever is going on with me. Why should I bother ____ when she has a wedding to plan/a baby on the way/a newborn/is single and won’t want to listen to my relationship woes? It’s sort of self sabotaging. And the girls I’ve talked to this about always agree that they feel the exact same way. It’s ridiculous! It’s like we’re all running around feeling sorry for ourselves and not wanting to impede on each other’s lives yet we all want someone to impede on our lives so we can do the same! It’s very strange, but I’m 100% guilty of it.
So what do I do? I talk to Darling Husband. I come here. I talk to my sister and my mom. I try to vent as best I can. When something is getting really deeply routed, I’ve gone to see a counsellor and that really helped. And you’re not alone feeling like mommyhood isn’t exactly what you thought it would be. There are lots of women who feel that way. I haven’t had a baby myself, but my sister’s SIL has had a really hard time with it as well. Counselling sounds like a great idea and I really hope with that outlet you start to find some resolution. Just take it one day at a time and remember to breathe 🙂
Post # 14
I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again. I really love the WB and the boards. Everyone just seems to be good to each other and I’ve found an outlet to bounce my ideas and my concerns. I can see myself becoming a regular on the babies board, but pretty much every board is awesome.
Post # 16
@ms.charming:Babies are SUPER difficult. I’ve often heard that the first 3 months the baby feels more like a parasite than a person. After 3 months, the baby responds more to you, smiles, etc, and seems like a bigger blessing.
Also, you may be suffering from post partum depression. I don’t know much about it, but do you have healthcare you could go to?
Also, you can also come to the bee. 🙂