(Closed) What do YOU do when you get the BFN?

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Weve only been trying for 2 cycles but last month when I got my BFN I decided I would no longer test unless I was late past when AF was supposed to arrive. I don’t want to deal with the disappointment. If I get my period it obviously wasn’t meant to be, I am just going with the have no expectations and if we get a BFP great, if not…. Well I was excepting it to be negative. 

Post # 18
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is only our 3rd cycle TTC, and I’ll be testing in a week. The first cycle was a huge disappointment, I really thought it would be as easy as just timing BD perfectly. The ‘recovery’ involved wine, sushi, coffee and all the other things I didn’t do because I was hoping I was pregnant.

The second month was a little easier, I started testing a little later so I didn’t have to see so many BFN. AF was late, which got my hopes up, but when she did come, I consoled myself with wine, skittles/m&m’s (which go surprisingly well mixed together) and coffee. I also got some scratch off lottery tickets, so every time I tested, I passed the time scratching some tickets until I won at least a dollar, which cushioned the BFN.

This month, as awful as it sounds, I’ve been preparing by reminding myself that this is the halfway point before I can go back to the doctor to see if there are problems. I’ve also been doing a lot more yoga which calms me down.

I don’t have any words of wisdom, just know that you aren’t alone.

Post # 19
3910 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@littlecat:  I have gotten tons of bfn’s.  this is my 7th cycle and because I know how painful it is, i simply decided not to test anymore unless AF late.  I can tell you that it doesnt get easier, but you get so numb by it, that the tears ceased somehow.  Now, I cry when i hear someone i know its pregrnant or when i get invitations for babyshowers.  Hang in there, lady, you will get it and hopefully soon:)))

Post # 20
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

the BFNs aren’t as big of a heartbreak to me because as long as AF has not shown up, there is still hope. it’s when AF comes that i start to cry.

Post # 21
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m in the same boat as @MrsR4ever:, I don’t test until I’m late or have other obvious symptoms. I got too many BFN’s to keep testing just because I wanted to know. It’s gotten easier and I find that I don’t really think about it as much. I don’t have tests in the house so I’m not tempted, I havnt needed to test for a couple of months so I didn’t buy anymore. It’s been really nice to just relax and enjoy the time by husband and I have.

But, if and when I do get a BFN, or AF shows, I become the world’s biggest grouch. My poor husband.

Post # 22
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Cry, have DH make me some brownies and ice cream, and watch comedies. 🙂


I try to never test early, at all, but my cycles are so irregular it’s hard to estimate when to test- so I usually wait 3-4 weeks.



Post # 23
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@littlecat:  We have been ttc since October and everytime I see a BFN, I also get grumpy… sad… emotional… pissed… you name it. The last two months, I have tried to have an alternate plan in my head for my unpreggers self… that if I don’t get pregnant I will start working out more, mountain bike, hike a mountain, plan a crazy ladies night, adventure gettaways with the DH and other things I wouldn’t do if I was pregnant. This helps me feel that its okay that I didn’t get the BFP this month because i have other things planned. (Of course, I would rather get a BFP but this is my coping strategy) Hope you get your BFP soon!!


Post # 24
2886 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am with @MrsR4ever:  and

View original reply
@Birdee106:  I don’t test unless AF is late. After 10 cycles it gets old really quick.

Post # 25
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Cry, and then start counting the days until the next FW.

Post # 26
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Well normally, I am a little down and then look forward to next month. But this month my answer would be “retest?”….. AF is 5 days late. I’ve taken two tests (on the day my period was due and another over the weekend) both showing BFN. If still no signs of AF in the next day or two, I’ll test again.  I’m usually super regular (28 or 29 day cycles), and now I’m on CD 33…eek.

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