-What did you expect from your bridesmaids?
I expected them to show up and not give me too much trouble, buy their dresses, and hopefully throw the bachelorette party (I don’t really think you can EXPECT someone to throw you a party… I waited for them to offer).
My photographer was from a different city, and I expected to stay with my bridesmaid who lives in that city when I got my bridal portraits done. Not unreasonable since I’ve been staying with her and/or her former roommate (my MOH) every time I visit that city for the past eight years. Actually, incorrect, twice I have stayed elsewhere, and both times she was pretty annoyed by it, lol.
-What jobs did you give them?
Things they had to do:
Measuring themselves and ordering their bridesmaids dresses.
My MOH had to hold my bouquet during the ceremony and another bridesmaid had to hold my husband’s wedding ring and hand it to me at the appropriate time.
Things they had an option about:
They said they were planning a surprise bachelorette party, but no action really seemed to be happening on that front (well, my MOH came up with a horribly embarrassing idea that I had to nix in the biggest drama of my wedding), so finally I just gave them a date when I was available and then suddenly it all came together. I think they were confused about trying to make it a surprise but also make sure I was available to go to the surprise, haha.
My bridesmaid who lived in the same city as my photographer was asked if she’d like to accompany me to my bridal portraits.
-How did you help them interact?
Eh, they mostly already knew each other, so no helping was needed. The day before the wedding we had lunch together and all got mani/pedis, then went to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, then back to my house for a little party with them and any friends from out of town who were here for the wedding.
Don’t have unreasonable expectations. Let people determine their own level of involvement. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ask them their budget and stick to it! Make sure everyone is having fun and is comfortable. Get them nice thank-you presents. Thank them verbally, profusely, every time they do anything outside regular friend activities. Remember to keep up your regular friendship in addition to wedding stuff – they still have lives unrelated to your wedding, so don’t forget to ask about them.