(Closed) What do you expect of your bridesmaids?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m having an extremely heavy DIY wedding so my girls have to help. And the good thing is that they offered all the help before i even had to ask!!! i love them. other than all the DIY’s we’ll have to do. i just need them to buy thier outfits and hang out with and stand up next to me on the big day…. (not to big into the party things).

Post # 4
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I was basically like you.  But I did not expect a bach party.  I didn’t want to burden them with another expense.  BMs already spend more money on clothing than GMs.  Then there’s hair/mu.  And of course the shower. 

Post # 5
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Similar to you…

  • buy their dress, and find shoes
  • show up on the day of the wedding in time for pre ceremony photos
  • about once or twice a month, listen to me obsess about wedding details no one cares about except me

And that’s about it. I’m not really doing any DIY projects or pre-wedding set up, and I don’t think I’m having a bridal shower.

Post # 6
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Buy the dress I chose

Select Shoes/Jewelry in the color family I suggest

Show up on time

My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my bachelorette

One of them has to walk my ring bearer down the aisle (my boxer Artie!) I joke that whoever pissess me off the most is getting the honors

Post # 8
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m similar to the you danadelphia (love you sn by the way!)

  • Buy the dress
  • Have shoes that meet my criteria (flats, black and round toe)
  • Attend bridal shower (MOH is planning)
  • Attend Bachelorette shindig (MOH planning again-she’s great)
  • Attend rehearsal and dinner
  • Get hair and makeup done day of
  • Stay for most of the reception

I’m actually having a very DIY wedding but I am OCD so if they did something wrong I’d just go back and re do it, no sense in hurting their feelings and I don’t work so I have plenty of time to finish all projects! I actually had to explain to all of them that I love them dearly and I didn’t mean to offend by refusing their offers of help!

Post # 9
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Not a thing!   Just to show up I guess…. 

Post # 10
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I guess I expect but also HOPE that they just wanna be a part of the day and do the following:

  • Buy/wear the dress we all agreed looked FAB!
  • Buy gold heels of their choice with some inspiration photos I sent
  • Attend wedding events (engagement party, rehearsal, wedding– duh? ha)
  • Plan/attend shower and bachelorette party 
  • Come hang early to get ready together on wedding day

At first I guess I expected them to be excited and want to know all the wedding details but I’ve realized not every is as jazzed cause it’s well not their day and I totally get that now and have relaxed— I guess my biggest hope is that they’re excited to be a part of the day!
I too am OCC and totally Monica from friends so I’m doing the DIY stuff on my own 🙂

Post # 11
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Not much besides-

-Buy their dress

-Red shoes to match and pearl jewelry

-Bridal shower and bach party

-rehearsal dinner

-be on time!


Post # 12
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Similar to what others have said!

  • Buy dress
  • Attend/Host Bridal Shower/Bach Party if possible
  • Attend Rehearsal Dinner
  • Be my go-to-person on day-of
  • Give a toast at reception

Post # 13
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just asked the girls to buy their dress.  One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man has planned my bachelorette party and my sisters (both BM’s) will be helping me put my invites together. 

Of course attend the rehearsal dinner and be with me pre-wedding so we can get ready together 🙂

Post # 14
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I expect my girls to do pretty much the same

  1. Help pick out and buy their dress / shoes
  2. help me pick out my dress
  3. help my Maid/Matron of Honor with the bridal shower which includes staying together the friday before to get ready and helping out he day before
  4. get excited for my wedding when I need them to be excited for me
  5. come to the bridesmaid lunch-in I am planning for them
  6. come to the rehersal and wedding which is a mini-destinatin wedding (in the same state just a few hours away) involving stay at the resort for the weekend
  7. and.. helping with DIY tasks and lugging stuff to the ceremony and reception site.


Post # 15
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I only expected my girls buy their dress (I let them pick any dress they wanted in a certain color), find shoes (they could wear whatever, even if they already had them) and show up for the rehearsal and day of the wedding.

That’s it.

I lucked out and my sister (MOH) threw me a shower with my mom. I wasn’t expecting it, nor did the idea of a shower thrill me, but in the end, it was an awesome day, and I’m glad it happened.

Post # 16
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

For every wedding related event, my expectations are the same- don’t dress slutty, don’t get trashed, and don’t be selfish oh and show up.  So far, things haven’t been working out exactly as I’d like them to.  These were expectations I had that I didn’t feel I could voice.  Its frustrating because I haven’t even asked for anything from them.  So my expectations shouldn’t be difficult to meet.. you’d think.

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