(Closed) What do you give – Present or Cash?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you gift couples a present or cash?

    Always Cash

    Always Gift

    Usually Gift

    Usually Cash

    Other (explained below)

  • Post # 17
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Hmm I usually buy them something they really want/need but would never put on the registry. An example would be my friend wanted to see his wife in fab lingerie on their wedding night, she was upset because she had no extra money to buy really nice stuff. I bought some and gave it privately. Problem solved. I listen while people share their hopes and dreams with me. It makes me feel a little like a fairy godmother 🙂 I can only think of two times out of 98 I didn’t do this. I didn’t know those couples well so gave cash.

    I have lived in 13 different states. The norm where I live now is to give gifts. Mennonite/Amish communities tend to handcraft some gorgeous stuff 😀

    Post # 18
    700 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I always give something from the registry. I love looking at other people’s lists, and thinking of how they’ll be able to use the items in their new home.

    Post # 19
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    i votes other, because i dont always or usually do one thing. if there is a registry card with the invite and i can buy something off it online, then i will do that. if i have no info about a registry, then i will give cash in a card. And before coming to the bee and planning my own wedding, it would NEVER occur to call around for a couple’s registry info! i assumed if there was no registry info with the invite, then there was no registry! simple as that!  so i guess knowing the etiquette now, i may have missed a few people’s registries, lol.

    Post # 20
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Gift for the registry; cash for the wedding, always. 

    I think a wedding is the only occasion where giving cash is fine (wouldn’t do it for a birthday unless it was a gift card)


    Post # 21
    5789 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Always cash for the wedding, gifts for the shower. NJ

    Post # 22
    10640 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    View original reply
    @dynamic_duo: Here there used to be very few stores to register at, and one in particular is still fairly standard.  I guess there’s a pro to very few choices!  I never had to ask, just typed in a name to see if they were there.

    For friends with a registry and if it’s not a hassle for getting it home a gift.  I’ve always brought it to the reception with me or at least given it directly to the couple, I think I might consider other options in the future though.  For family GC or cheque, sometimes with a gift as well.

    ETA: Always a gift for a shower.  I would consider giving a GC if they were traveling or I had to travel and had no time, but it hasn’t happened yet.

    Post # 23
    401 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m one of the “gift (or gift card) for the shower, cash for the wedding” people.

    Post # 24
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I voted “other” because in the event where a couple has a registry I buy something from the registry. That has only happened once, though.

    Post # 25
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m from the Northeast/Poconos area of Pennsylvania and I’ve always given cash. I’ve noticed, more often that not, that showers are for gifts and weddings are for cash around here. I knows it’s completely different in other areas.

    Post # 26
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Just about 99% of the time, I will give a gift card to a store where the couple is registered. That way, I don’t have to worry about wrapping a gift, lugging it to the wedding/hassle with packing & shipping it.

    Post # 27
    3221 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I always give a gift. But that’s because I love shopping! 🙂

    But now that we’re planning our wedding…I prefer cash…so maybe I’ll start giving cash instead?

    Post # 28
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    99% of the time I give cash for the wedding.

    Shower I get them a gift off their registry.

    When I was younger (late teens), I would give them a nice gift because I could not afford to give them enough substancial cash in a card.

    Post # 29
    7299 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I never put cash in a card. Too many stories of cards going missing. I always write a check. That way if it gets taken, it can’t be cashed unless the name is forged but even that can still be traced back. I always tell people to leave a check if you can because of my friend had her whole card box stolen and 90% of it was cash.

    Post # 30
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Other.  It depends on where the registry is at (if there is one) and who they are.

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