(Closed) “What do you mean, you’re not getting married in a church?”

posted 7 years ago in Secular
Post # 3
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

smile and agree that you are nice people?

You can’t care what they think, you’re not gonna please everyone.  If somone is offended that’s their problem.  You should do what you want, and having a friend marry you sounds great.

Post # 4
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Tell them you don’t want to make a sham of their faith and your marriage by going through with a ceremony you don’t believe in. That’s what I told people 🙂

Post # 5
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your ceremony will end up being beautiful and personal and they will understand afterwards!

Post # 6
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

but you are such nice people! ha ha ha ha ha! Wow!

Post # 8
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Miss Fish:watch Love Story (1970) :] you might just love it! :p

Post # 10
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s sad that a lot of people equate Christian=Good Person.  Sadly, the two are not synonymous.  I know a lot of good people who are not religious and a lot more “Christians” who are not good people.

Post # 11
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

“I’m getting married outside so God can see us better and not have to bother with those aggravating roofs.”

What is the plural of roof?

Post # 12
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012


Agreed that you won’t ever please everyone, so the most important people to please are the two of you.


Post # 12
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I went through this too… my grandmother said “at least have someone pray over the wedding”… that’s when I got up and left. I don’t want to argue with my family but I don’t want anything religious in our big day!

Post # 14
46 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oh, we are kindred spirits indeed.

I live in Alabama. Have lived in the southeast my entire life. Both of our families are christians… mostly baptist with some methodists and catholics mixed in the bunch. We don’t make a big deal about the fact that we are not religious so I guess most people don’t know it. If someone asks, Im always very straight forward about our beliefs and usually people are nice to our faces about it.

In my area it is virtually unheard of to not be a christian. Most people I know do not know anyone who is not a christian. Fiance and I are both “normal” looking, hold good jobs, go to college, have traditional views, etc. so people are noticably uncomfortable when we explain that we do not believe in god.

When we announced our engagement my 97 year old grandmother came up to me and said “are you going to have a nice church wedding?” This was a hard situation to handle because she only thinks of weddings either being courthouse or church. So we told her we had our venue in mind because its less expensive and it outside which we wanted. She understood but was rather confused. Things like this will come up. I usually skirt the issue of religion for others comfort but if I am asked directly I do not find any shame in admiting what I believe (or dont believe)

Good luck! I know its difficult but you are definitly not alone!

Post # 15
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Miss Fish: I love the Mark Twain quote! I think you are handling the issue very well. Just being as polite as possible (while possibly internally combusting) is really the only way to deal with it. I am sure they’ll come around, especially if you keep showing them how civilized people should behave.

I thought I’d be in your shoes when I decided not to get married in a church, but I think I’ve tortured my family so much with my ‘evil’ decisions that they have nothing left to say.

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