What do you NOT want in a proposal?

posted 3 weeks ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

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@lyni12:  most women just want him to do it already. There can be so much pressure on guys to “do it right” that they procrastinate which makes her resentful.

Post # 4
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I do not want anyone else there – no family, no friends, no public, no photographer, and ideally minimal / no fuss. No red or pink roses (can’t stand them) and no kneeling. And no asking my father. Man I sound really demanding lol.

Post # 5
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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@lyni12:  I instructed my now husband not to propose at any super public place like a restaurant. 

Post # 7
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t want it done in public or in front of anyone (except my doughter, who requested to be present) and he respected my wishes. Although I’m sure he wouldn’t have anyways because he’s so shy.

Post # 8
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

We are both on the  private side and we shared  proposal ideas. We just got engaged while house huntimg 2 days ago. I was surprised at the random moment. It was amazing.

Post # 9
Member
4053 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My only stipulation was for it to be done privately. I hate opening gifts in front of people period, so I couldn’t imagine getting proposed to in a public setting. I would have died from embarrassment.

Post # 10
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Nobody else but us.. at least for that night!

Post # 11
Member
6957 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

We’re already married but back then he knew that I wanted it to be PRIVATE. No big spectacle, no photographer, no friends or family involved. Just the two of us. That was pretty much my only thing. 

Post # 12
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

For it to be from the wrong person. The rest is just gravy and doesn’t matter. 

Post # 13
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I didn’t really have any dealbreakers to be honest. I would’ve been happy with a simple proposal at home or something more public. I did not want him to feel pressured to do the “perfect” proposal and told him as much. He did feel pressure because I think society really puts this message out there that it needs to be huge. In the end, I got a surprise proposal at the end of a hike to a beautiful lake, in front of my family while on a family trip. It was lovely and I was thrilled! I guess the only thing I wouldn’t love would be anything super scripted, like a flash mob or something he wanted to be really “viral”. But if that was his personality it would be ok! And I would’ve been fine with a restaurant proposal or proposal at a game, etc. 

Post # 14
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

We were both on the same page with things I didn’t want/he didn’t want to do – I didn’t want him to ask my stepdad, I didn’t want him to do that thing where he says “(First, Middle, Last Name), will you marry me” because nobody ever called me by my then-full name (it’s been changed since, the entire thing!) and I just didn’t want him to feel pressured to do anything that wasn’t true to himself. But he ended up proposing at the Delta terminal dressed as a giant hot dog, so I guess I really didn’t have to worry about that last one.

Post # 15
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

I’d hate any kind of big grand gesture, especially a public one. I’m not a romantic person at all, and I’d have felt mortified at some massive display.

We didn’t actually do a proposal at all, we just discussed it and decided to get married, but if I’d had one, I would have been happiest with something private and at home.

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