What do you NOT want in a proposal?

posted 4 months ago in Proposals
Post # 32
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I asked him not to propose on a holiday (like Christmas, etc.), and that ask me using my name, not a pet name, so nothing like, “Babe, will you marry me?” It may sound weird cause he calls me “babe” all the time, but I also know that he’s used that name for almost every girl he’s ever dated. It was important to hear him asking me and not the pet name, for am what is unique. 

I explained this to him, so when he eventually proposed, he said his only worry was to whether to include my middle name. Lol. 

Post # 33
Member
714 posts
Busy bee

I would DIE if it were in a big public setting, and I don’t want any family or friends immediately around (but they can celebrate like, 10 minutes later). I think life is filled with so many wonderful moments that you share with so many people (even your wedding day)… it’s nice to have one private memory to hold on to. 

Post # 34
Member
1538 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

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@lyni12:  Per the thread here some years ago, she was not happy LOL. I actually felt so bad for her. He was dead serious too. 

Post # 35
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

Yeah food/drink is weird!!

I wouldn’t want it too flashy, like on a big screen or in front of a giant audience. I don’t think I’d care if it was in public though; I don’t mind being a little bit the center of attention, haha. I also discovered I had a small fear of him doing it with his family there – I think his family is GREAT, but.. they aren’t MY family, and I found myself really hoping that it was either with my family or neither (both didn’t seem likely as they still haven’t met – thanks covid). 

Post # 36
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

 Friends, family or any other people involved

It had to be just 2 of us and it was:) 

I hate watching those proposal videos with a bucnh people…Barely anyone likes them but some dudes are still pushing for them…I always feel such second hand embarassment, same as with gender reveal parties…

To have a photographer there is a also CRINGE

I don’t understand why some people are so against Xmas and Valentine’s proposals – get over yourself lmao…people get engaged all the time… also..it makes any holiday even more special and if it’s Xmas you can share it at a family gathering

Post # 37
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2020

When my now husband and I talked about proposals, I told him I didn’t care how he proposed as long as he didn’t put the ring in my food or drink. 

Post # 38
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

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@tess90:  In general, I don’t like the idea of proposal videos or photographs – though I must admit, when I read  @pineappleprincess92‘s story of her engagement, I did have a sneaking hope that somewhere, there is a video of this moment laughing

Post # 39
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

I don’t want my family involved, I don’t want photos or video of it, and I don’t want it done super publicly (though at one of our favorite parks walking the dog would be fine).  He knows all this and is fine with it…but he is also someone who likes to plan big things and overthink it so who knows lol

Post # 40
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

Like a lot of posters, I just want it to be us. I don’t want some elaborate spectacle with a bunch of people watching.  I would love to just be sitting on the couch watching tv hahahaha 

Post # 41
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Already married. I just didn’t want a proposal that was completely low effort. My DH is not one to plan romantic things or do big gestures (I totally am).  Generally, I roll with that because it’s not his thing.  But you get engaged once (hopefully) so I wanted a little bit of a fuss.  I didn’t care if it was public or not, family involved or not.  I just wanted it to be clear that he put some serious thought into it.

As it happened, the proposal was super duper low effort.  Like, kneeled down next to laundry and hurriedly asked “name, will you marry me?” then mentioned that he was hungry and wanted to go to dinner and asked me where to go.  He had not even planned dinner🤦🏻‍♀️🙄.  We ended up at Chili’s.

I was up front later that the lack of effort was super disappointing.  He gets it now.  At the time, he was so stressed about buying a ring and then he planned a nice prooosal on my birthday but his best friend convinced him that I needed a bday event AND a proposal (why??) so he just hurried up and proposed four days before my birthday. Why in the world he didn’t just use the first set of plans four days earlier is beyond me.

 

but we’ve been married 9 years in April and he’s still absolutely my person, so I just tease him sometimes that we should go to Chili’s because “it’s so romantic, people go there after getting engaged.”

Post # 42
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

I never mentioned anything to hubby about a proposal, but secretly assumed (not the best thing to do, I know) that we were close enough for him to know that I’d rather not want anyone else to know about our possible engagement before I did myself. (They didn’t😊)

Post # 43
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

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@teaandcake:  I think there is! I’ll see if I can find it – definitely have pictures! 🙂

Post # 44
Member
1538 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

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@BabyEtobe:  Did he know those were your expectations? 

Post # 45
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

When i was younger, the clown i was dating proposed with the very ring he proposed to an ex with…so i definitely wouldn’t that 😂 

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