- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013 - UK
Oh G-d…. it’s all going to come out now… hopefully I’ll feel better afterwards…
BM#1/MOH I love you, but you have to realise that my wedding is going to be very different from yours. You had an almost unlimited budget, and mine is very limited. I will have to do a lot myself, and we will all just have to manage and pull together. Sure, I could ask my family for money to make my budget bigger, but it is important to me to pay for it all myself, as my gift to my family for supporting me. I’m throwing them an awesome party… I don’t want them to pay! I know you don’t get that, and that’s fine. But you will have to respect it.
BM#2 You are driving me MENTAL. MENTAL. You hear me? ******* MENTAL AAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don’t like blue? You prefer red? Well, my wedding will be blue, and I’m sure that you can try on clothes in all of the thousands of shades of blue out there and that you will eventually find a shade which suits you. What’s that? You want to wear red shoes? No, the shoes must match the dress. Oh, and you don’t want to wear man made fabrics? You want cotton or silk? Well, I’m not wearing silk because I can’t afford it. And I’m not spending almost as much on your dress as I am on mine. If you would like to pay for your own dress or shoes, fine. But I only have a very limited budget, and I’m not spending more on you than the other girls.
Sorry… what’s that? You don’t like real ale? Well, that’s a shame, because we are having a real ale free bar. You think we should have a cocktail bar instead? No, because we want our wedding to reflect who we are as a couple, and we both love real ale. Why don’t you have a cocktail bar for your wedding? Oh, I see, you want something to drink which isn’t real ale? You think we should provide another free bar serving only drinks that you like? Well, there is an additional pay bar… if you leave our reception hall, turn down the street, and look on your left, the pay bar is there. It’s called “Oddbins Wine Merchants” and you are welcome to buy as much as you like to take back to the reception with you. They even accept Visa.
Ah… the bachelorette party. No, I don’t want a stripper. No, I won’t be wearing L plates. No, I will not play any of those degrading games people play on bachelorettes. No, I am not a prude. I’m just British. We Brits are generally uncomfortable with people invading our personal space, and also with public nudity. I see no reason to try and overcome this discomfort for the sake of a trashy party. I also have a Bridesmaid or Best Man who doesn’t drink for health reasons, so we need to have a bachelorette which features activities other than drinking (although obviously we will be drinking as well). NO YOU CANNOT SECRETLY SPIKE HER DRINK TO MAKE HER “MORE FUN”. Why? Because my idea of a good party does not involve visiting her in the A and E ward of the local hospital! OK, so you hate all of my ideas for a bachelorette. That’s fine… in that case, could you share some ideas of your own please, preferably ones which were not recently showcased on an episode of Jeremy Kyle?
………………….. and now I feel a little better. Thanks guys…