(Closed) What do you say to people who groan about your upcoming full mass?

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 17
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

A reception is for guests, but a ceremony is for the couple. It’s not a show or entertainment. So to be honest, I didn’t care if guests didn’t want to sit through my hour long ceremony. It was of utmost importance to my husband and I to have a full mass because of our personal beliefs. No one really said anything to us about it though.

Maybe it’s because I grew up Catholic, but I do prefer longer ceremonies. WHen I go to a wedding, I want to see a wedding! Not just a party. That’s what I go for. 

Post # 18
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I thought the only difference between a full Mass & the shorter ceremony, was just that with the full Mass, Communion was involved… which I can’t imagine would add more than an extra 20 minutes, right? Or am I misinformed?

Post # 19
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

View original reply
@kt23525: No you’re right.

Post # 21
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

 how obnoxious! No one has said anything like that to me yet, but I’m sure I would give them a mouthful about how it’s actually the wedding CEREMONY that matters, and that IF they get invited, the reception is only the icing on the cake! It’s the Sacrament that matters, and if they have a problem with that, they shouldn’t come at all.

Post # 22
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s on a rare occasion that I go to a regular mass that finishes sooner than 40 minutes, lol.

The Catholic ceremonies I have been to typically last 1 hr to a 1 hr & 15 min. Of course, I am Catholic so it doesn’t seem very long to me, but even if I wasn’t, I feel like there is so much tradition within a nuptial mass that I would be entertained and interested regardless.

Honestly, if there is anyone who plans on griping, groaning, or being annoyed at the length of my ceremony (which is about my FH and I — not them — that’s what the reception is for), I would rather they not even come. You don’t have to be religious to respect tradition or the way a couple wants to be married. And even if for some reason you AREN’T looking forward to the “long” ceremony, it is definitely rude to complain or moan about it to the bride or groom.

Post # 23
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s a shame that people are happy to spend hours at a reception but are loathe to spend even a moderate amount of time at the ceremony.  Celebrating is wonderful, but I think that a lot of the spirituality and sense of commitment have been lost in the modern wedding.  Receptions are wonderful, but I think ceremonies deserve more time and appreciation than they often get.

Post # 24
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Instead of saying “We’re both Catholic” like you can’t help it and you need to apologize, look the complainers directly in the eye and say “This is going to be the most meaningful part of the entire day for us.” Maybe that will shame them into shutting up 🙂

No matter how long the wedding Mass is, I don’t think the guests have the right to complain. The couple chose to have a Mass because it presumably meant something to them (since any couple is allowed to choose the shorter version, marriage ceremony without the Mass). They also chose to invite their friends to witness the ceremony. To complain that it was too long and boring is simply rude.

Post # 25
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

 

View original reply
@Cappugcino: agree COMPLETELY – the point of the day is not getting to the reception, but celebrating the marriage, which happens at the ceremony – and the ceremony reflects what is important to the couple, and guests should be appreciating and respecting these choices

by the end i told everyone i didnt want to hear about their complaints – to not come if it was too long for them, but to not show up to the reception either then – you can’t celebrate my marriage with me if you can’t come to the ceremony because its “too long” – harsh, but true

Post # 26
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t get how full nuptial mass is so long everywhere else, but here it’s little over an hour? I mean an hour isn’t that long really is it? I’ve been to weddings that lasted 15 minutes. Over in a flash. I’d hate the most important day of my life to be confirmed with a 15 minute ceremony! It’s not all about the party after!

Post # 27
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@Mrs.Oat:lol yes! no apologies should be necessary!

Post # 28
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve been to a full mass wedding that lasted 1.5 hours. It was very exhausting listening to the monotone priest drone on for that long. I felt like I was in class. I seriously almost fell asleep. I’ve also been to a wedding ceremony that was 45 minutes, but the preist made it fun so it didn’t seem that long.

Post # 29
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

our wedding ceremony might be as long as 2 hours, since we’re going to have a ton of beautiful music (we’re both musicians,) but we will also provide a pretty detailed program that people can follow along with and will include explanations for things that are very Catholic-specific.

I guess I understand if people complain about being bored cuz it’s long, but I wish they would realize, “this is important to US, the couple. If you love us and care about us, which you obviously do since you are here to celebrate this day with us, then you should also care about the things that are important to us, like this long ceremony, and maybe even TRY and UNDERSTAND why it is important to us.”

Post # 30
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We are both Catholic and opted for just the ceremony for our 15th anniversary and it took 45 minutes(the priest said 30 minutes max but that is inaccurate).  I have been to tons of Catholic weddings on the east coast, west coast, Texas, Mexico, and in Japan on average it take 1 hr and a half.  I know as the person getting married, time flies but it really does take that long from the time the wedding party walks in to the time they walk out.  I had the opposite problem! Everyone was complaining that they wanted the full Mass and that my ceremony wasn’t long enough.  You can never please everyone but you can be happy with your choice.  My answer to the ones complaining was that when they got married or celebrated their anniversary they could have a full Mass but mine would be my way.  By The Way everyone was in tears during our ceremony and i still get comments on how my ceremony was the most beautiful and personal Catholic wedding/anniversary they ever attended.  

Post # 31
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Well I was surprised when my father was the one that  groaned.  A full mass??? sigh …

I returned with …  Payback for 12 years of CCD suck it up Pops. 

(he did laugh at that)

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