(Closed) What do you say to people who groan about your upcoming full mass?

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 47
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Fiance and his whole family are not catholic and we are having a mass; i think you can definitely work with your chruch and priest to try to keep concise and make it a comfortable experience for everyone. also – a great tip i got was that you can somewhat control the length of mass yourself through your choice of readings and music – just things to consider

Post # 48
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@MaryC140: That’s awesome advice.

Another idea is to have programs so that people can follow along… they don’t have to be super fancy or anything crazy but my understanding is that some people who are not Catholic may have trouble following which readings are going on and how many there are? So if they have something to follow, it helps them understand a bit more.

Post # 49
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

For my uncle’s first wedding they had a full Catholic Mass that lasted almost two hours. It was way too much in my opinion. Now, I’m not Catholic (my dad’s family is catholic and my mom’s family is Prestbyterian), but I did go to Catholic school and have sat through many a Mass and never once complained, but even Catholics were complaining that tacking a wedding on to a full Mass was a bit much.

It’s your wedding, do what you want. If you want a full wedding ceremony with a full mass go for it. You do have to be prepared for those of your guests who don’t feel like being preached to and are there to witness your marriage and celebrate with you. I, and I think most of your complainers, see a big difference than a marriage ceremony and a a marriage ceremony with a full Mass tacked onto it. You CAN have one without the other. It’s beyond me that people complain to you about it, but I don’t really see a way to get it to stop. Aside from that, the best response is “Well, you don’t have to come if it’s that inconvenient. You’ll be missed.”

Post # 50
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Aure: mass + a wedding isn’t the same things as a nuptial mass wedding.

Post # 51
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@elliestan:  Hey! My husband’s internet-ordained uncle performed our ceremony, and he kicked ass!!  =D

 

I think the problem that people (myself included) have with the idea of “full mass” ceremonies is that the couple and the marriage seems to get lost in the service.  My cousin was married in a Catholic ceremony (his wife is Catholic, he’s not) and it was beautiful! Mostly because it was about THEM.  They had family members do readings,  a friend sang, and the priest talked about them and marriage. 

I later that year went to another Catholic wedding, and while I think they were probably about the same length, it felt like it went on FOR-EV-ER. Why? Because it was literally  95% about God and Jesus, and oh yeah that’s right, these 2 are getting married.  It was awful.  I actually felt bad for them because they were such an afterthought to the whole thing.  I think that’s the sort of thing people envision when they hear “full mass,” right or wrong (I know I do!).

Post # 52
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Ambrocked: well i’m glad! i was using a real life example that i experienced of my friend and her failure of an officiant, not making a generalization. my point remains; the couple is celebrating their marriage in the form that is important to THEM, so for anyone to tell them that they should do otherwise or roll their eyes at it is just plain shitty.

Post # 53
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@elliestan:  I know, I was just teasing- it struck me as funny that you used my exact situation as an example, like what are the chances?  Heehee!  ;D

Post # 54
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

whew! ^_^

Post # 55
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

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@elliestan: I haven’t been to a Catholic wedding without a mass, so I’m not sure where the split is from ceremony to mass. Even other Catholic guests had something to say about my uncle’s 2 hour ceremony+mass, though, so it seems like it can add substantial time.

Post # 56
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It is so rude to insult someone’s wedding ceremony.  If someone didn’t like my ceremony, I would prefer if they just keep their mouth shut and not come, rather than bitch about it to my face.

Post # 57
Member
3165 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Aure: you can have a rite of marriage celebration (without mass), nuptial mass, and more rarely mass + wedding ceremony. the way you worded it (mass with a wedding “tacked on”) sounds like the latter. nuptial masses normally (as PP in this thread have said) are around an hour… not that any of this really matters to the point of the thread though, rude is still rude!

Post # 58
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

At the only Catholic wedding I’ve been to in my adult life, the ceremony was optional – so maybe about a third of the guests just came to the reception.  I think that was a good option.

Post # 59
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’ve sat through 3 of them and lived to tell about it. Plus 2 were in Polish (which I don’t speak).

Post # 60
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

How rude! It’s your wedding!

People groan about my Catholic ceremony being too long, and it is *outside* of Mass!

I’ve learned that people will groan about anything wedding-related that they don’t agree with or “wouldn’t do.” Just gotta shake them off and remember why having a Catholic ceremony inside of Mass is what you and your Fiance both want! 🙂

Post # 61
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m glad that I’m not the only one who has this problem, and we’re not even doing a full mass! “30 minutes?! Ugggggh!” My future sister-in-law is incredibly unpleasant, and apparently has a personal vendetta against Catholics as it is. I told her that if she will be that miserable, to not come. No one would miss her. That seemed to quiet her down.

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