(Closed) What do you say to people who groan about your upcoming full mass?

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 62
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@kermie: Something tells me that the Polish wedding reception was a blast though! 🙂

Post # 63
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore

“Suck it”

 

It’s your wedding and you’ll find that the ceremony is one of your favorite parts of the day. My full Catholic Mass lasted just under 1 hour.  We had about 250 guests, although not all received the host. Try to ignore everyone’s comments. They’ll always find something to complain about.

Post # 64
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35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@MademoiselleL: This is my new favorite comback for this question!

Post # 65
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5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’ve had a few people groan about it, but they’re also thrilled to just be invited.  Most of them are willing to deal.  The only awkward moment was when I was talking to one of my best guy friends, and he started telling me about his friends’ wedding from the weekend before.  He said the ceremony was over and done in less than four minutes, and that was good because nobody likes boring and long ceremonies, and it’s awful to make your guests sit through that, blah blah blah.  He went on for fifteen minutes or so.  Then he asked what our ceremony would be like.  “Um.  Yeah.  Full Catholic mass,” I responded.  “Oh,” he said.  Then we sat there in awkward silence for a good fifteen minutes.

Post # 66
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You bet your a*s my 30 minute ceremony was meaningful. I GOT MARRIED.  yelllooooowww.

Post # 67
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4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@MrsSl82be: Nobody is “putting you down.” (those who themselves prefer a shorter cermony.)

This thread was meant for those who DO want a full Mass, being a longer ceremony, and how to explain ourselves to people who complain. I may have missed it, but I don’t think anyone was dismissing anyone else’s desire to have a short ceremony; just defending their own preference.

Post # 68
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

While I would be put off by attending a wedding ceremony that was longer than an hour (especially if I didn’t know it would be that long in advance), I think it would be incredibly rude to complain about it to the couple. If you don’t like it either don’t go or go and keep your complaints to yourself.

We’re not catholic, but we are religious and our ceremony will probably be 45 minutes to an hour long. All the wedding ceremonies I have attended (all protestant) have been around that length.

Post # 69
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7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@red_rose: I find the quick ceremonies, even when they are in a church, too quick and often not as meaningful.

^^^this is why I said what I said

Post # 70
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am a Catholic as is my FH but his family and many of our friends are not. On our wedding site everyone is getting the heads up that it will be between an hr and 1 1/2 hr long. When people groan about it, which btw is incredibly rude, you can give them a little bit of the back ground of why we do the whole mass not just the wedding. The Nuptial Mass has prayers throughout it for the bride and groom, not just when they exchange their vows. There are also additional blessing that are only ever given on this one day. As guests they are invited to pray for the couple as well. If you think about the divorce rate being at 50% in this country, I think all of our marriages could use a few prayers. 

Also, most people would still come to a wedding even if there was no reception, because they recognize that is the life altering part of the day. You are joining your life to someone forever, and for Catholics it takes a little bit longer.

Post # 71
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hasn’t happened to me but if someone does, I will say something like “Wow, you are so rude.” 🙂

Post # 72
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

 
My opinion: I wouldn’t think nothing of it. It’s special to you, you will be entering into a Sacramental marriage! <–No where else would that be able to be attained. You can’t get that at the JOP down the street. LOL. 


@irishny:

I am a Catholic as is my FH but his family and many of our friends are not. On our wedding site everyone is getting the heads up that it will be between an hr and 1 1/2 hr long. When people groan about it, which btw is incredibly rude, you can give them a little bit of the back ground of why we do the whole mass not just the wedding. The Nuptial Mass has prayers throughout it for the bride and groom, not just when they exchange their vows. There are also additional blessing that are only ever given on this one day. As guests they are invited to pray for the couple as well. If you think about the divorce rate being at 50% in this country, I think all of our marriages could use a few prayers. 

Also, most people would still come to a wedding even if there was no reception, because they recognize that is the life altering part of the day. You are joining your life to someone forever, and for Catholics it takes a little bit longer.

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@PinkPinstripes:

I hate when people ask where the wedding is and I say, well we’re getting married at ABC Catholic church and the reception is at XYZ location and they say “Oh, it’s a full Catholic mass?” UM YES, yes it is and I just smile.Catholic masses do not go on for 2 hours unless the priest has ALOT to say. They are generally 1hr 15min. Is that really too much time to become married? I don’t think so.

Not to sound preachy, but marriage is a sacrament and I believe (this is just my personal opinion) that it should be “celebrated” in the church with a full mass.


It’s your and your FI’s decision, as a couple, and the immature idiots who are laughing can just suck it up. This is where the wedding industry, I think, really warps people’s minds. Yes, you can have a short ceremony (and that is COMPLETELY fine if that’s what you want) but a traditional Catholic celebration of marriage is a full mass.

Agreed with your opinion and of those with the same nature in their content. 

(Side Note) Why hasn’t anyone mentioned the other Sacrament you’d be exposed to with having a Full Ceremony? The most important of them all….. 

***

Our’s ended up being around 2hr’s. (We attend Mass at least once a week) We had a Tridentine Mass and it was our first being married! (We are also NOrdo attender’s, but prefer this Rite.) All in one day. . I was and am soo happy looking back on it. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Like IrishNy said about additionals. . .for example one is; I (my Husband included) was able to go into the Santuary while Communion was taking place, to pray and the like. That’s only done once in a women’s life, never is she able to enter but on her wedding day. There are blessings attained and something very dear to me. 

Most of our invites were people that were close family/friends that practice Catholicism. They were accustomed to Mass and it’s lengths. It was a bit longer (than NOrdo), but not by much…everyone raved about our chior! For the guests that weren’t, it was an experience that moved them. The girl’s were lamenting on how they would have done their ceremonies a bit differently. 

Even our photographers assistant (who wasn’t Catholic) loved the ceremony. He never knew one existed in such a fashion. We were very selective in who we invited…so, that’s why there weren’t comments. We knew who to invite, and didn’t want it any other way. 

Post # 73
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sorry about font size’s and such. It wasn’t letting me change it all and made things look worse. Why does WB fritz out like this?!

Post # 74
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

How annoying. Your guests need to respect your wishes or not come.

Post # 75
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Mrs.Anchors: You can get a sacramental marriage without a Mass…just to clarify.

I think it’s rude for anyone under any circumstances to groan about how a service is done. No matter what!

Fiance and I will be having a simple ceremony with no Mass because he’s not Catholic. I think a full Mass would just be awkward. But it’s still a sacrament.

But if people groan to me about having to enter a Catholic church, I will think again about them being invited. They should be excited for us and what WE choose!

Post # 76
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I kinda skimmed over some of the longer posts (sorry :S) so I don’t know if anyone else might have the same experience as me, but I just converted to Catholocism. I have been a Protestant Christian all my life and decided to convert when Fiance and I got engaged. At first the decision was mostly about wanting to raise our family in one faith. Then after I began taking the classes, I found that I really loved the Catholic faith and the teachings. The RCIA classes took me about 8 months and Fiance and I spent those months really delving deeply into the Catholic faith. The decision to convert and raise our family in the Catholic faith was so important to me. My family and close friends know how important this journey has been for me, so they are supportive and excited that I am having a ceremony with so much meaning to me. People who complain about the length of the ceremony (and there have been plenty of em) I just politely tell them that I completely understand if they just want to come to the reception. Surprisingly every person I’ve told that have said that they still want to come to the ceremony, and stopped complaining 🙂

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