Post # 1
Has it been just me or are there others out there who get the CONSTANT question of: “WHY are you getting married” “You are sooo young!” This question/statement combo is sometimes separate, but often together. I am 21, I know I am young, and I know what I’m getting into and that it will be very difficult at times. It just seems very, sad? I know people have hard times in their relationships, but there are a LOT of good times as well. I have friends who are married who HAVE given me excited and happy responses, but, its just a little bit discouraging when the majority of people are very negative about it. It’s a happy time! Let me be happy!! haha
Does this happen to you? And how on earth do you respond? 🙂
Post # 3
It happens to us sometimes. Just the “why are you getting married” or “marriage is the worst thing in the world, it ruins relationships”. I usually just don’t respond at all. I try to not worry about it too much. I think for a lot of people it’s a bit of jealousy over a happy relationship when they may have experienced one that has fallen apart.
Post # 4
Well.. I was 25 when I was engaged and some people actually feel I’m too young. lol WHATEVER! I just think we live in a time where life expectancies are much higher, and people just feel like they’re going to live forever so 21 just seems so young. We live in a society now where women are having children at a much much later time. I don’t see anything wrong with your age and that you’re getting married. Whenever people come at me with their negativity about my wedding or marriage I ignore and move on! And CONGRATS!
Post # 5
Sometimes I get the “Wow, you must be really sure!” (referring to my age I’m guessing) I just go “why yes I am! Thanks” and leave it. Usually they’re too stunned that I responded! Hehe.
Post # 6
People do ask me why am I getting married so young, because I look pretty young, but then I tell them my real age, and they say okay maybe you’re not getting married too young. Lol
I wish I would have gotten married at age 21, but I was with Mr. Wrong at that time. I think it’s great that you found the one at such an early age. I’m happy for you!
Post # 7
I inform them that I’m 32, and then they look shocked and embarassed, lol. I look younger than I am and heard “Oh, what’s the rush? You’ve got PLENTY of time” when I was engaged.
Post # 8
I’m 22 and my friends and family are constantly asking us when we’re getting married! My mom is so antsy! She’s already started making things with my monogram on it and I’m not even engaged yet. It’s really embarrassing! I try to stash it all away for now. (Secretly I’m excited to use all of it)
I think that’s just from coming from the south and being as far along in “grown up” things as I am. I’ve bought a car and a house on my own. I have a dog and a stable salary paying job, so in everyone’s mind, my next step is getting married! Give us time as a couple people!
Post # 9
Lighthouse – Literally, you go from being ‘waaay too young’ to get married immediately to ‘why aren’t you married yet?’ It happens overnight, I swear. People always have to complain about something that’s none of their business!
The next time someone says that to you shrug it off with a comment like “To each his own” or “Tomorrow you’ll be asking me why I’m not married already! I can’t win!” and laugh.
Post # 10
A coworker and I were just out to a dinner with one of our vendors, and we had our consultant there as well. A woman from our vendor (we’ll call her S), was just going through her second divorce. The last time we saw her, she was just getting married! Our consultant (we’ll call her R), was talking to all of us about how she’s hoping in the next year to get engaged and how excited she is and whatnot, and my coworker and I both just got married in the last 2 years. So of course, we’re all gushing about weddings and our wonderful men!
Well…S just totally rained on our parade. She told us how marriage is awful and that R shouldn’t do it! She said all men are egotistical pigs and that we’ll find out later that she was right.
I was so angry. I’ve been happily married now for 2 1/2 years, and we’re still doing great. I realize things change when you have kids, but I feel like this woman was just so bitter. Don’t listen to the naysayers! If you have strong communication, you’ll have a great marriage!!!
Post # 11
I’ve gotten this! We just say, becuase we know it is right and we are ready. This is what we want.
Post # 12
Age probably is a part of it, because we are at 27 and 34, out of school, have great jobs, own a house, etc., and no one has said a thing to me. For some people, you are marrying too early. For others, they feel that they have more license to comment on the actions of a young person. A third group is just jerks (and one of the joys of age is that you more and more only associate with non-jerks; you just get more control over that as you get older), and jerks will always find a way to be jerky.
Post # 13
I’ve gotten alot of comments from random people like coworkers that say “you should experience life” <–which to me was insinuated as be free and single and sleep around, and “whats the rush?” I have been with my Fiance for the past 5 years and i will be 21 and him 22 at wedding. We feel like we made a responsible decision, and have thought thru it carefully so those comments don’t bother me anymore. The people that are supportive (friends and family) are what really matters. You have to remember those people that make those comments are they happily married? Chances are they wish they waited! As long as YOU two feel ready then it will be okay. I definetly had a hard time when I was hearing these negative comments and marriage statistics, it took a bit to get over really. But we are both willing to work through hard times (what marriage should be!) So brush them aside 🙂
Post # 14
We get this a lot because I’m 21 and my Fiance works in an industry that is predominately divorced, bitter, women hating males. Several of them got taken for all they were worth and I do feel bad for them but that isn’t my fault and I don’t appreicate them trying to talk us out of something we’re ready for. If it’s someone who has been bugging us about it a lot and has a failed marriage and talks about how we’ll just end up divorced anyway I ususally respond with something like: “well it’s easy to see how that happened for you, We choose to be more optimistic.” or “I’d probably divorce you too with that attitude” and then walk off. I can be polite and turn the other way MOST of the time but if it continues I feel the need to put people in their place!
Post # 15
Thank you bees!
It is discouraging, but yes, I do find it somewhat funny as well! I can’t help but respond with a very cheery (not fake, though!) “We are quite excited to get married!” 🙂
It seems to stun them most of the time. And i DO try to keep in mind that their marriage probably isn’t or wasn’t the best…and so they have a bit of pain or biased opinion because of that. 🙂
Post # 16
I’m plenty old enough (26) so when people ask me why I’m getting married, it’s because they think I’ll miss my reckless party days or be miserable with some tyrant man who’s going to control every move I make (SO not my FI). These are all people who have been or are in miserable, miserable marriages. I go easy on them. I understand they haven’t had it as good as I have it. I just tell them that I’m absolutely sure I want to be with him forever and if I’m wrong, they can throw me a divorce party 😉