(Closed) What do you tell yourself when you feel irrationally insecure?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I remind myself of all the things that have happened that tell me a proposal is happening soon.

When you start adding up all those little moments, it has a serious payout of “OMG WHY AM I DOUBTING THIS?!”

And all is well in the world.

Post # 4
Member
4929 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I told myself that he loved me, that he was with me for a reason, that he kept coming back to me because I was who he wanted to be with. 

(Backstory: we dated some in high school. He broke up with me a couple times, but would contact me again months or even close to years later and tell me that he missed me, was supposed to be with me, had something with me he didn’t have with anyone else, etc. I almost stopped believing it after a while, but I’m glad I didn’t.)

If he’s talking about marriage openly, that’s a great sign! Waiting is hard, but keep reminding yourself that it’ll all be worth it soon. 

Post # 5
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I tell myself to try to be patient and that if he didn’t want to be with me he could go… but he is still here (awww) <3

Post # 6
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

Ok so a bit cheesy but last night I was feeling a bit down, as you just described. I decided to do some much needed cleaning since my SO is coming here tomorrow before we leave for a trip. I happen to stumble upon birthday and anniversary cards my SO had given me somewhat recently (June dating anniversary/ July birthday). Being reminded of the sweet things he said helped reassure me a bit. Sometimes men aren’t great at the day-to-day things so it’s nice to be reminded sometimes that my SO said just a couple months ago “I am committed to making you happy” and wants me to be in his life forever.  

Post # 7
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like he is sure about getting engaged. He is probably just not sure how to propose and is workong out those details.

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

OMG what is in the air that we are all having these random/silly insecurities right now? This OP was exactly what I would have posted today! We are so happy and I know he has a plan and a date for the proposal in mind but for some reason I am totally down in the dumps since last night. I tell myself that if he didn’t want to be with me he wouldn’t be here but that doesn’t always help. I hope it is just something in the air and that we all feel better soon! 

Post # 9
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Savannah, GA

Wow! i had the same feeling last night too and it’s been so long since I’ve felt down about that.  I actually haven’t brought up our engagement in a few months though it hasn’t been easy.  We’ve dated for over 4 years long distance and are about to make a big move together within a year now that I’m finished with school.  He knows I won’t move without a proposal so I’m hoping/thinking it’ll be soon.  Around May, I broke down and told him I needed a timeline and he said it would happen before the end of the year.  I haven’t brought it up since and I’m pretty proud of myself. Sealed

Please send prayers to the engagement gods, we’re going on a cruise next week! Cool 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

@cbgg:  I remind myself that the best things come in small packages and i’m waiting for my hair to grow….lol, no it’s real, i want my hair long for my day so i’m hoping he’ll propose in hawaii so i’ll have time to grow it to the right length lol.

Post # 12
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I have to keep telling myself, “It’s the Journey, not the destination”. We are so much farther then we were when we first met 5 years ago. I know it is purely finance right now and we are getting a handle on that. He is making strides fiancially and believe it or not, not everyone was born knowing how to balance a checkbook. Thankfully my mom sat me down when I was 12 and showed me how she broke down the house expenses in case something ever happened to her (Goodness forbid). I would be walking with my mom and tell her of something my SO has done to become more financially stable (clearing debt, raising credit score, Blahblahblah) and say “There is nothing sexier then Fiscal Responcibility”. These are the things that need to happen BEFORE he buys my ring. BEFORE we enter the union of marraige. He is a cash-on-hand kind of guy but we don’t live in that kind of world anymore. So he is adapting.

So when I get insecure and all, “Oh MIGHTY COSMOS, why has he not engaged me yet!?” I keep it in mind, that is it not the Destination…It’s the Journey…and he is the only one I want to take that journey with.

Post # 13
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@Alaric2012:  I am growing my hair out too. All my wedding styles on Pintrest require long hair

Post # 14
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@impatientlywaiting20:  I agree about the details. That’s how I manage my bad waiting days, I just keep telling myself he’s working on a plan and the details!

 

 

Post # 15
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I wish I could give you advice, but just know that you aren’t alone. I know exactly how you feel! I am just so anxious for it to happen already. I want to be locked down lol. I am sure they are just waiting on the right timing, etc. It has to be stressful finding the right ring, dumping a ton of savings out to purchase it, asking the parents, and then asking the question. This isn’t an easy thing bc they want it to be perfect bc the story is something people retell all their life. I am here for ya, girl!

Post # 16
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

I am feeling this anxiety really bad today has been one of my worst waiting days so far. Thankfully I am at work and he can’t see how awful I am feeling. Don’t have any words of wisdom just wanted to say you are not alone hang in there we will get through this!

The topic ‘What do you tell yourself when you feel irrationally insecure?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors