Post # 16
missexcited1985 : My SO talked about needing more money for my ring and made a big deal about the deposit he put down on the apartment when we moved in together. This despite having a good income, investments, and a lot of savings in the bank. He continues to worry about spending money now, so it wasn’t an engagement-specific thing. I think it’s a combination of a pride thing and thinking about a house.
It’s good that you offered to pay, so that he can’t use money as an excuse in a year. But hopefully he follows through and it doesn’t come to that!
Post # 17
neverbeenstungbee : Thanks!!! I will do!
I had never heard of moissanite rings before I stumbled on this site and really liked the idea and look- I mentioned them to bf but it seems he already has a diamond. I am sure I will love whatever it is!
I’m not very wedding motivated, its probably super weird- I don’t think I have an ‘eye’ to know how to pull it altogether. Whenever I go to weddings or see them I just think they are beautiful but without realising all the little things. My boyfriend on the other hand has lots of ideas, even a shortlist of wedding music. It may be him organising everything!
Post # 18
missexcited1985 : “The main concern I have, is that he tends to want to go for the biggest and best. I’m a little worried that he is working himself into a state trying to afford a huge, perfect diamond with amazing specs. “
I see a lot of guys on these boards do this, and this would be concerning for me – a sign of bad judgment. If money is at all an issue, you shouldn’t be buying an expensive ring. I would be concerned about marrying a man who had to have “the best” to the point where he was making irresponsible financial decisions. Sorry if this is harsh…just my opinion.
Post # 19
I get where you are coming from. In his family, everyone buys one another very expensive gifts. As his family is large, Christmas is a small fortune. He genuinely is a giver and very selfless, and really does want to give the people he loves the best of everything- he is an easy target for a salesman. I’m glad he has my mum involved in the ring because she will steer him in the right track as he would definitely get sucked into whatever a sales person tells him about clarity, cuts, colours, etc.
I wouldn’t say he’s irresponsible but definitely misguided!
Post # 20
Well, this is is a turnaround, In one day you have gone from sounding anxious and unsure and talking about dropping hints, to him having the ring, all but.
So it all worked out and you had , after all, no need to get so defensive with those of us whose posts you deemed ‘judgmental’ or whatever.
Goodo. See you on the ring boards.
Post # 21
elderbee : anyone would defend themselves when rude comments are being made – like ‘time to put your big girl pants on” or “start adulting,” which yes, I find judgemental. I did clearly say in my first post we had discussed getting married, and that I was thinking about dropping hints about rings that I like- not dropping hints about marriage altogether. This was because I know that he wanted to surprise me with the ring entirely rather than me choosing it with him. I just wanted to give him some ideas of what rings I love.
Anyhow, yes it worked out and I am happy- I had just come here to hear the support/advice of bees.
Post # 22
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
neverbeenstungbee : I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Post # 23
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
missexcited1985 : Congrats on the pending engagement bee!
However, in the future if you don’t want so much feedback on your various aspects of your relationship you shouldn’t put so much information in your post, your post was rather detailed so you can’t expect people to only comment on ONE part of it…I understand feeling like you need to give background in order to get an honest answer, but there are ways to minimize even that. When you ask for opinions from strangers they won’t always be positive. I’m sure everyone here was only trying to help in some way, granted some people could have worded things differently.