(Closed) What do you think?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Was I wrong?
    Yes : (17 votes)
    61 %
    No : (11 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I totally understand where your sister is coming from.  My cousin got engaged four days after I did, when I was still basking in glow of the new engagement.  She announced her engagement to me (and everyone else in our family) by posting on my facebook wall “Let’s go dress shopping together, since I’m engaged now too!”.  This brought me back down to earth with a thud. 

    She’s since discovered that she’s having a second child, so her wedding has been pushed back.  I hate to say it, but I was relieved, because I did NOT want to go dress shopping with her.  To me, dress shopping is something special.  All the attention should be on one person only, the bride, and she deserves her time to shine.  You’re cheating not only your sister of that experience, but also yourself.  Give her her moment, and wait a bit for yours. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I would be like you and think it would be a fun thing to do together. But I know that a lot of people are different and want it all to be about them. Your sister made it very clear that she felt that way. I think it’s probably best to cancel your apt, just to keep the peace in the family.

    You said that you want to do everything together when planning your wedding and get other’s opinions. That sounds all well and good, until you get tons of opinions that you just don’t like. I feel like in the end, it is your wedding and you should be able to have it your way.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    View original reply
    @egyptianlily5:  Yeah…I hear what you’re saying.  That was my attitude too….and then I went dress shopping.  lol  

    Honestly, I think that 

    View original reply
    @LGenz: hit the nail on the head.  My thinking was that I dislike shopping at the best of times and going with a purpose (finding me a damn dress) was a needed attitude.  Looking at anything else (be it shoes, a dress for my sister, etc) just took focus off the task.  I’m a bit Type A that way.

    The “Me Me Me” thing is very VERY annoying and I DO think that your sister was out of line to insist that you keep your impending engagement/wedding on the downlow at a bridal show, but dress appointments are big fluffy crazy events of trying on a bunch of dresses that don’t fit and trying to imagine what they would look like if they did.  By the end of shopping with your sister, YOU’LL want a drink.  🙂

    Post # 20
    Member
    3216 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    View original reply
    @egyptianlily5: I think it’s really nice of you to cancel your appointment– and I definitely agree with the reasoning regarding if she didn’t find a dress.

    However you said she was also in a bad mood all day at the wedding expo? do you think something else could be bothering her, or is this typical of her? I would encourage her to try to communicate more effectively with you– you seem very level-headed and like all of this could have been avoided if she would have just said “I would actualy prefer it if you rescheduled, could we discuss this later?” and then enjoyed the rest of her day!  don’t sweat the small stuff!

    Post # 23
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    View original reply
    @egyptianlily5:  Oh yeah!  We always tried to have drinks afterwards.  🙂

    I found dress shopping fun, but because of all the societal pressure on the DRESS, as well as my own focus on looking as awesome as possible, it was also difficult.  It didn’t help that I have giant boobs and hips…and…well….standing in front of a room of people with the back of a dress hanging open, while someone grips it to try to close it and give you an idea of what it could look like if it were bigger, saying “You just have to imagine it higher with more lift in the chest” as a bunch of unrelated ladies try not to laugh at the look on my face, was not my idea of fun.  LOL

    Post # 24
    Member
    3459 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Another thing – I’ve heard some brides say that they want to make dress shopping an “event” with breakfast beforehand, or a nice lunch for their ladies helping them, etc.  If you scheduled your shopping on the same day, it could be awkward/difficult to coordinate if you wanted to invite different people to do different things around the dress shopping portion.

    Post # 25
    Member
    8009 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Your sister needs to get over herself.

    Post # 26
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    While I think you weren’t intentionally doing anything wrong & its innocent enough both you and your sister deserve to have your own special time for your weddings. Even when I’ve been engaged and in friends bridal parties its never been about me (on the outside…that doesn’t mean I wasnt visually shopping the entire time). Plus, its complicated enough trying to find a wedding dress without trying to compete with someone else!

    I think you should apologize to your sister, tell her you were really excited to share being a bride with her, but you understand that she wants her own day. The bright side to this is that you’ll get your day VERY soon and it can be all your own.

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