(Closed) what do you think about chosing Sept. 11 as a wedding date?

posted 9 years ago in September 2011
Post # 3
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

there are good and bad things that happened on any date. I think as long as it isn’t an emotional day for anyone in your family or wedding party- roll with it. Also see if vendors will give you a discount since it might be a hard date to sell!

Post # 4
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with vistagirl but also keep in mind the attitude of your guests. Were some of your guests affected? Did they have close ones in NY at the time? If a majority of those are no, go for it. Plus it would nice to have this date associated with something positive! 😉 

Post # 5
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I have no problem with it, but I live on the West coast and was not directly affected by the Sept. 11th attacks.  I think as long as you and most of your family/friends are ok with the date, I say go for it.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I don’t want to sound mean or in any way crush your hopes and you should certainly do what feels right to you and your fiance. However since you are asking, I would honestly say that I would not get married on Sept. 11th. Yes, its true that you can’t let a bunch of terrorists get in the way of you and your fiance sharing your love for one another; however the flip side to that is that it’s also a day when thousands of Americans lost their lives. Personally I think it should be treated as a holiday and designated a day of remembrance. It reminds me of how my mom always said we weren’t allowed to do anything "fun" on good friday… it’s about having respect for what happened on that day in history. Yes its getting further and further away, and yes, in some ways its just another day, but I don’t know.. I don’t think it should be forgotten. The thought of celebrating on such a (in my eyes) mournful day just doesn’t seem right. I hope this doesn’t offend you, just giving you my opinion. 

Post # 7
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree with MonaLisa. 

Post # 9
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

If you are already sure you want to get married that day then I don’t think you should worry what others think and you should go ahead with the date and celebration. I just thought you wanted opinions so that’s why I shared mine. No one in my family or my guest list was directly affected by the attacks either but I have strong feelings that just because I wasn’t affected personally doesn’t mean I wasn’t affected as an American. I think it’s a bit ignorant of a lot of people (I’m not saying just you, I know a lot of people think this) to think that because they themselves did not lose someone on that day means it is not as mournful a day.

You are very right that Pearl Harbor day is a similar thing, as are many days as a matter of fact. Vistagirl is right that good and bad things happen on every day. I just think because Sept 11th was still relatively recent, it’s a bit more sensitive of a day for many people. But like I said, it really boils down to what you and your fiance want and how you guys feel about it. If you’re okay with it, go for it. 

Post # 10
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think its necessarily tacky, but it certainly wouldn’t be my first choice. I’ll be in a wedding on the 12th of September… and when my bestie told me her wedding date for the first time… my first thought was, "oh, the day after 9/11". So, yeah, it is a date in-grained in our minds for it being what it is. I guess if you’re able to get past your happiest day being on one of the worst tragedies in our recent history… then great for you. But you’ll also have to try to be understanding of your guest’s reactions. Pearl Harbor is another tragedy that comes to mind, but that was 12. 7. 1941… not so recent… not a touchy date anymore IMO.

Post # 11
Member
36 posts
Newbee

It’s a day like any other day, go for it!  If anything, it adds some joy to an otherwise sad day for a lot of people, and I think that’s a GOOD thing. 

Post # 12
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I would say no– not just because it’s so recent, but because we refer to the terrorist attack by the date on which it occurred.  Unlike December 7, which we refer to as "Pearl Harbor", we use the actual term "September 11th" to represent the attacks in New York and Washington.

 I think it could conjure up bad images in the minds of your guests, too– because the date of your wedding is synonymous with the name by which we refer to the attacks in 2001.

Post # 13
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

i think, if this is the date that best works for you- you should go for it.  I think it would be lovely to think sept 11, the day elizatara’s wonderful wedding.  we need to acknowledge what happened but more so we need to embrace our life and happy times. 

Post # 14
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

It’s touchy either way you go, but have you thought about maybe doing something as a part of your ceremony like a special prayer or moment of silence to honor those that were lost…you can’t know for certain the situation of every one of your guests, and the memories they have of that day.  But that may be an alternative way to allow you to keep the date you want and still make sure that your guests know that you aren’t dismissing what happened on 9/11.  I am sure it would be appreicated.

GG

Post # 15
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

Okay, I didn’t lose anyone, but I think everyone was pretty deeply affected by what happened. However, I don’t know why you wouldn’t celebrate your love on that day. My little cousin was born 9/11/2001, so it is a celebratory day in my family, no matter what. Should we stop celebrating his birth just because people died on that day? No. My birthday is 9/9…and if the following weekend includes 9/11, I’m going to celebrate on that day.

I don’t think that anyone at your wedding would criticize you, as it’s an impossible day to forget. So it’s not like you’re laughing in the face of those who suffered. If you feel like it needs to be acknowledged, then add something in memorial. You could even just mention it in a program or at your reception.

If you look really hard, you’ll probably find something tragic that has happened on every day of the year. But you’ll also find wonderful things that happened as well.

Post # 16
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You could honor it by donating to a veterans fund or something like that.

Being a soon-to-be military wife myself, I’d be abhorred by the idea, even though I see where you are coming from. Personally….I would never do it. I always get melancholy on september 11, vividly remembering the news, even though i was in california at the time. There are always lots of rememberances going on and such, too, and parades, etc….it’s very "recent" still and Sept 11 is known as Sept 11.

that being said, people get married on memorial day weekend and the such.  

Seriously it just needs to be made a federal holiday already.  

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