what do you think about having a shower for each baby?

posted 6 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s definitely not a thing.  Sometimes people throw Sprinkles for the second or third kid, but it’s typically pretty informal.

Post # 3
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

It’s not the norm where I live. Sprinkles are generally accepted, but only if the new baby is a different sex than the ones previous, or if there’s a large age gap.

Post # 5
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

alfalfasprout10518 :  Tacky and greedy AF, unless you’re a Kardashian with a bazillion dollars, and especially if you throw it for yourself. No one owes you anything. 

I’m on my 4th child, spaced 3 years apart. All girls. Donated almost everything from my 3rd child to a family with a newborn who lost everything in a fire and sold the rest. I have about $1k worth of stuff to buy for this baby because I legit have nothing. But I sure as shit am not asking anyone for free handouts! Some females are like this though. With my first, I didn’t really have a real shower, but people were generous and we got most essentials via gift or cash, and then supplemented after. I really don’t understand this mentality. I would not attend as a guest.

Post # 6
Member
546 posts
Busy bee

I’ve noticed this becoming a big thing in my area (midwest) too. And it’s RIDICULOUS!!!!!  I see it as a complete money grab. 

Post # 7
Member
7452 posts
Busy Beekeeper

alfalfasprout10518 :  throwing yourself a shower is bad enough, but second showers (regardless of gender differences) are super tacky imo. Save your crap from the first kid! Thankfully I’ve never been invited to one, but I would definitely decline and not send gift. 

Post # 8
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I hate baby showers in general and didn’t have one and try not to attend any. I think they are very counting chickens. 

Also don’t get the need to have one if you have a different sex of baby second time. But then I was team yellow with both mine so all our big things and newborn clothes are gender neutral 

Post # 9
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I too hate baby showers. Having a baby shower after your first baby is so tacky 

Post # 10
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

So from what I’ve read on different pregnancy boards…it seems like people have different views on this depending on who you think a baby shower is intended to be for. Those who think it’s one and done think that a shower is intended to celebrate a woman becoming a mom for the first time- which only happens once, so you only get one shower. (This is the more traditional etiquette rule and the camp I fall into as well.)

Then you have the other side of people who say the baby shower is for the baby itself and “every baby should be celebrated!” which I can understand the reasoning behind but I still think you only get one. What really baffles me are the ones who say “it’s not a gift grab, we tell people not to bring gifts.” Well then throw a party but don’t call it a “shower” then, because shower means gifts!

Post # 11
Member
6429 posts
Bee Keeper

No we didn’t do this for our two and wouldn’t for another but that doesn’t mean it isn’t done iether.  I know tons of friends who have had a shower for each baby and they relatively close in age that you’d think the item was still in use when the next came into existence.

Post # 12
Member
713 posts
Busy bee

Not a thing here. My friends offered to throw me a shower for my second but I declined. My work friends absolutely insisted that it wasn’t about gifts, it was about celebrating the new baby, so I had to concede on the condition that it would be a sprinkle! It was very sweet. 

My friends (and I) are the sorts who would get any new baby in our circle a thoughtful gift anyway, shower or not. 

Post # 13
Member
9333 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have so much shit from my first I can’t imagine even WANTING a second shower. Please for the love of god, no more stuff at my house. 

I think a little get together at a restaurant or something to celebrate the baby is fine.

Post # 14
Member
388 posts
Helper bee

In my hometown circle of friends it’s a 1/mother thing. Maybe if there’s a big gap between kids there’ll be a second shower, but usually just one.

In my new friend group, it appears to be a 1/baby thing, which is hard to get used to, and does seem a bit grabby when babies are close together or the same gender. My personal solution to that is to just bring a smaller gift to the second shower. A book or two, one little outfit, etc.

Post # 15
Member
1738 posts
Bumble bee

This is starting to be a thing where I’m from (socal). I think it’s tacky and I’m not really a fan of first time showers.

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