what do you think about having a shower for each baby?

posted 6 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I would say it’s becoming more the norm in our circle too. I’d say it irritates me sometimes depending on the circumstances but sometimes I can understand. If your kids are super close together, I don’t see why you’d need another shower. I know a few girls who have had back to back kids and had large showers for all of them even if they were the same gender, which rubs me the wrong way. 

I have a 4.5 year old son and am currently pregnant with a girl. I remarried, and it’s my husbands first bio kiddo. His family has offered to throw a very small, informal sprinkle and we accepted. I know they are very excited and want to celebrate us and him, even though I really wasn’t thinking I would have anything. I’m glad it’s small. 

Post # 17
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I hate showers in general, but I don’t really care if a mom has a shower per kid. But I always figured they were more about celebrating the new baby than anything else. If someone wants to throw more parties, more power to them. I don’t have to attend.

Post # 18
Member
47175 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t attend a shower that anyone was hosting for themself. Seriously? When did it become acceptable to hold a gift giving event for yourself? That’s not to say I wouldn’t welcome their new baby, no matter how many kids they had, with a card and a small gift, along with a home made dinner.

I also think shower gifts are supposed to be small items, like burp cloths, diapers,onesies etc. If the grandparents want to buy something bigger, that’s their prerogative, but it’s not up to your friends to buy cribs, strollers, car seats etc.

Post # 19
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Westwood :  totally agree. What would I do with all the stuff I already have from baby #1?! I have two boxes of things I never took the tags off of, and I live in a country where showers are generally pretty small.

Post # 20
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

The only time I’ve felt ok about a 2nd shower was when a family friend got unexpectedly pregnant in her 40’s. Her son was in high school and she had literally nothing for a baby by that point. It felt appropriate for her to have a shower, although she didn’t host it. 

Post # 21
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t get the outrage over it. If I like the person– I go and gift. If I don’t, then I don’t.

I get there are always different circumstances– like remarriages, having a large age gap, having hit a financial snafu and needing some extra essentials. If I have the time, money and want to contribute then I do.

Post # 22
Member
4387 posts
Honey bee

Nope. Not a fan. I’m okay with showers for first kids. I’m also okay for showers for very long gaps. For instance I have a family member had two kids, divorced, got remarried, and then they decided they wanted to try for kids together and had kids 13 years after her first kids were born. Obviously at that point she had no longer kept any of her baby stuff.

But otherwise no. At least not a shower. I don’t buy that whole line about oh how we really celebrating the baby and every baby deserves to be celebrated. That’s b******* because then gifts wouldn’t be involved. If you want to celebrate the baby, then do the Sip and See thing a few months after the baby is born when it’s really actually about the baby.

Post # 23
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee

Never seen a shower done for a second baby (I’m in Aus) xo

Post # 24
Member
1353 posts
Bumble bee

I think its tacky, but somehow becoming more popular so obv not everyone thinks the same. Or they just lost their manners 🤷‍♀️ my friend had a 2nd baby shower and she did a full blown registry, including brand new $200+ baby monitors… but she had her first child 1.5 years before. I was side eyeing the heck out of her. No thank you.

Post # 25
Member
11771 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Whether someone has a shower or not, if I am a good friend or relative I personally will send or bring a nice gift to a new baby and any subsequent babies, too. It’s completely voluntary, but also a fairly common thing in my circles. 

That said, the parents are responsible for equipping the nursery. Showers themselves are meant to be intimate events thrown by a close friend or friends and featuring modest and practical gifts. What most people would refer to as a sprinkle is really what showers are always supposed to be. It is rude to throw one for yourself in any case. If no one offers, it doesn’t happen. Etiquette is divided on the topic of family members as hosts. 

A low key shower thrown by a few friends who are moved on their own to celebrate a subsequent baby can be indulged. But a major event featuring expensive gifts, registries, venues, and a large guest list is not traditionally appropriate a first time and definitely not a second. 

With the exception of this sort of self motivated small friend group, the general rule of thumb is not to invite an overlapping group of people a second time.  For example, if you’ve moved and a new group of friends wants to host a baby shower for a subsequent child, that’s OK.

Post # 26
Member
7731 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was thrown a very nice shower for my first baby. I was then divorced, remarried and then had a new baby 8 years later. The family of my new husband (who had no kids of his own) wanted to throw me a sprinkle. I even felt a little weird with that at first, but it had been EIGHT years and my husband’s family was excited about a baby. So my mother in law and sister in law threw me a lovely little get together with the aunts etc. of my husband’s family. But I certainly would never have expected a full blown party.

Post # 28
Member
4061 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in the “celebrate every baby” camp, but i also don’t want more shit.

For our second we did a sip and see after she was born, and didn’t register bc we didn’t need a damn thing. I just wanted her to have a special day like her brother did. Some people brought gifts, some didn’t…tbh most people just used it as an excuse to buy ridiculously frilly girl stuff.

Post # 29
Member
9023 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Baby showers are not a thing in my circle but we do gift when someone has a baby. So if they have multiple babies then yes we give a gift for each baby. I don’t understand only gifting for one baby. It seems rude. I guess I am in the all babies should be celebrated camp.

 

Post # 30
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee

alfalfasprout10518 :  

Its happening in my corner of the world.  And it’s obnoxious.  A sprinkle for things like diarpers & formula?  Sure, happy to help. Lots of people are struggling to make ends meet these days.  Brand new crib bedding because you registered for & received  “boy bedding” the first time but now you need “girl bedding” a couple years later? No.  First of all, you knew you were trying to have kids very close together, that was your plan all along, you told me so, you told everyone. Why didn’t you register for neutral bedding the first time? Second of all, you think your baby knows or cares if their bedding has tractors or unicorns on it?  They don’t.  And neither do I.  

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