what do you think about having a shower for each baby?

posted 2 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
7496 posts
Busy Beekeeper

For me it really depends on the person/situation. I’m generally not one to get outraged over any occasion to celebrate a major life event for a friend or family member, whether it’s a baby shower, a gender reveal party, or a *GASP* “sham” wedding for a couple who was already married at the court house. 

That said, some things do cross the line for me into wtf-ery. I have a friend who is about to have her second baby just over a year after her first was born. She threw herself a shower for baby #1, and is throwing herself a second shower now for this baby. She invited her entire social media network to it, including people she hasn’t even spoken to in years. She has a registry and everything, even though they still have all the gear from baby 1. I think that is a bit much.

Post # 47
Member
1775 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i wouldnt have a problem with it if it was different genders. I also dont see a huge problem even if it was the same gender, but i probably wouldnt buy off a registry for the second one, id buy a box of diapers and call it a day. 

my neighbors who we are close with insisted on wanting to throw us a baby shower, even though i was not big on it. (DH and I work a ton, and really dont see our own friends much anymore, they are a hard group to get together) It was a super nice gesture, but i didnt know a single sole at my own “shower” outside our actual neighbors, and personally i think she dubbed it more as a margarita party get to together, more than a shower, to get people to show up. So to say the least it was kinda awkward. We mainly got diapers and clothing, which was great but i wouldnt want to do it again that way. 

Post # 48
Member
86 posts
Worker bee

I’m not in the US or UK, but baby showers for every child is actually a thing where a live. However, in general, guests don’t buy you big gifts, just usually some clothes for the baby and maybe toiletries. Also, people don’t do registries for baby showers and it’s usually family members or friends that host it. I know that the mindset around it is that every baby should be celebrated. 

Post # 49
Member
11225 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

WillowBee33 :  “What’s the difference between a traditional shower and a ‘sprinkle’? I’ve never heard of this before”

As I mentioned earlier, a traditional shower is and was what is commonly referred to as a sprinkle today.  They were usually at home, given by a close friend or friends for an intimate group,  and be about practical and inexpensive gifts. 

Traditional etiquette actually frowns on the kind of event many people on this thread are describing with venues, expensive gifts, registries and the whole world invited. 

People always sent baby gifts voluntarily, with or without a shower. 

Post # 50
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I completely agree with this ! I had friends who really wanted to throw one for me but I was adamant “no thanks”. I think it’s really counting your chickens because you never know what’s going to happen before the birth. 

I also hate baby showers they are so crap. Such a shame the U.K. has got swept up in this nonsense.

Twizbe :  

Post # 51
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s really is – I sadly know women who have had still births / lost a baby soon after birth. I much prefer to send a baby gift after they are born londonchick :  

Post # 52
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

It’s totally weird. I have a cousin who is on baby number 4 and I am getting invited to her 4th baby shower AND there is a registry. One would think that after 4 you’d have enough things… Personally, I cringe more at the gender reveal parties which are now the norm. Doesn’t anyone want to have a private and intimate moment with their partner anymore? Why does every moment need to be a pinterest perfect display?  

Post # 53
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I dislike gender reveals as well, but I was team yellow so for us the reveal was the moment of their birth. rainbowduckie :  

Post # 54
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think it’s a “to each their own” thing because I know people who have baby showers for every single kid regardless if they’re te same sex. I think people just have them as parties just like birthday parties and don’t think of etiquette behind them.  I have a friend who is pregnant with her second boy and she wants another baby shower. I don’t understand why because she had her first son June 2018 and this son is due May 2019. There is literally no reason why she NEEDS another shower IMO because her kids are back to back so she easily has the baby car seat, stroller, and tons of clothes from the first one. I just use discretion on what events I attend so I don’t let it ruffle my feathers on other people doing it. There’s no obligation for you to attend second or third baby showers. 

Post # 55
Member
694 posts
Busy bee

Obviously just my opinion but I think the problem is not how many baby showers a person has but how extravagent it seems they have all gotten whether it’s the first, second, or third one. Baby showers should be smallish events with the people close to you and some finger foods maybe a cake where people gift you blankets, bibs, clothes, stuff that you most likely need new for any baby. But now they seem to be these massive events where people invite everyone they know and rent out spaces to host a large catered party and make registries loaded with expensive baby items. I side eye that if it’s your first baby or fifth baby.

To continue my rant, gender reveal parties have gotten equally out of hand. I don’t like the whole sentiment behind it in general, like cool your baby has a penis or vagina, we knew it was one or the other so not a big shocker there. It used to be like a video where mom and dad cut a pink or blue cake and posted it facebook. Now it’s also a big elaborate party AND people seem to bring gifts because I think no one really knows if they should or not because it’s a newish thing. 

I totally sound like a grinch but just stop all of this. Okay rant over

Post # 56
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I think it unnecessary, but if my friend(s) decided to have one, I would still go and support her.  

Post # 57
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Most people I know don’t have baby showers for each child. I have heard of people having “sprinkles” for a second or third child if there’s a big age gap between the kids, for example my good friend just hosted a baby sprinkle for her friend that’s first child is 9 and now she’s pregnant again but no longer has baby stuff since her child is older now. 

Post # 58
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Where I’m from (Western Canada) it’s common to have a celebration for each baby but only AFTER they are born. It’s more of a “meet the new little one” than a shower, and gifts are not expected but most people bring something small and useful, like a bag of diapers, or a pacifier. True showers, before the baby is born, are only done for the first pregnancy, and sometimes not at all, depending on what the mom-to-be wants.

Post # 59
Member
9444 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I had one for my first but wouldn’t do it again for any other children. 

Post # 60
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

My sister had a shower for her first and a sprinkle for her second. The sprinkle was a little get together where people brought diapers, wipes and meals to ease cooking time when the baby was born.  I find this completely acceptable. Having a shower for each child is a bit much. 

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