Post # 1
When I was a kid I wanted a big do, big dress, lots of people.
But now I want a simple 5 min ceromony, with just Mums and siblings. No Maid of honour, bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen, flower girls etc. Simple “I do” vows. Then a pub meal afterwards.
What are you’re opinions on small weddings? Any of you had one similar? Any tips for doing this? How do you tell your family that’s all you want? Would worry the OH extended family would be upset that it’s imediate fam. only.
Post # 3
@Jeo: I totally understand. We are having our wedding in Vegas. We invited close family and a couple friends, but that’s it. I didn’t want anything big. I’m not crazy about dancing so i did not care to have a big reception with a DJ/band. I’m also not having a bridal party at all. The simpler, the better. I would say we have about 25 people going.
Post # 4
@Jeo: They’ll have to get over it.
We are paying for everything ourselves, so “simple” is all we can do. Beach ceremony in FL, no bridal parties, groomsman etc. Followed by a backyard BBQ reception. We’re still having themes and colors and decorations, just on a smaller scale.
Post # 5
@Jeo: That’s very similar to what we were planning… except the guest list extended a bit to also include more close friends, so we’ll have about 50 people. We aren’t having a wedding party, no processional, no traditional wedding cake, no flowers… I did find a sample dress that I fell in love with, but at first I was going to order something from Macy’s and call it good!
Can’t tell you how it went ’cause its 2 weeks away, but I can say I haven’t had nearly the stress or financial worries that some of my friend’s have planning theirs!
I didn’t have a big extended family problem, as I moved out of state 10 years ago, and only invited those I saw regularly and I knew would fly out for it… meaning, my immediate family. And my FI’s family is also small, although we did invite his Aunt & Uncle and one cousin we see frequently. Our general rule was, we only invited people who had met both of us, and after 3 years of serious dating, this seemed pretty fair to me. I’ll send announcements to my out of state relatives after the fact.
I do think it would have been trickier if my relatives were in state. For example, we see one of his Aunts at ALL of the family holidays, as her husband passed away years ago and her kids are out of town. It would have been difficult not to invite her, but impossible to invite her and not all of my aunts & uncles as well, if my extended family was closer. I think, as long as you are consistant (as in, ONLY parents, siblings, and neices/nephews, no exceptions!) it is reasonable and people should understand. And if they don’t, they’ll get over it. 😉
Post # 6
@Jeo: I think they’re totally refreshing, charming and lovely affairs, if I’m lucky enough to be invited to one, I always enjoy myself because I know I’m going to get to talk to the lucky couple and experience a wedding that doesn’t have that “Platinum Package” feel where everything is so dictated and structured…..if I’m not, I’m still happy for them, happy for everyone.
We had one, it was great, the people that got upset over their lack of invitation calmed the hell down and that was that….a couple of Mr. 99’s family members threw a fit, tried to blackmail us into inviting more people, we honestly could not, 25 was the limit for the room…..so we just had to say no and let them do what they wanted…which ended up not attending in an effort to hurt us, which failed miserably, we never even missed them!
Post # 7
In my culture, big engagement parties and big weddings are the norm. For my cousin’s wedding, they distributed 1,000 invitations o_O
The thought makes me nauseous lol. I see myself with 15 people max and a restaurant reception.
Post # 8
@lolaswann: 1000 people?!?! OMG, I don’t know, much less LIKE, that many people! LMAO!
Post # 9
I like them way better than big weddings.
I have never been to a big wedding that didn’t feel cookie cutter.
Post # 10
@Jeo: I had no desire to have a big wedding and I didnt. We had a 15 minutes ceremony with 11 people and went to a restaurant afterwards where everyone ordered whatever they wanted. We were home by 9. It was amazing. 🙂 No bridal party, no favors, no dancing, just nice and simple and VERY stress free.
As far as family goes, I think they might have been a little upset, but oh well it was my day and I did it excatly how I wanted.
Post # 11
@l2fly: 1,000 invitations and you figure each household has the mom, dad, and any children so let’s average 3 people per household…
Post # 12
@Jeo: That’s what I wanted…instead I’m having the whole nine yards and then some. I think that’s the reason a lot of people start planning and then elope! The sort of people who REALLY care about you are the only ones it matter to have there. If you wanted, you could probably go to a really expensive elaborate dinner as the reception, just because there’s fewer people involved! Good luck!
Post # 13
@Nona99: Blackmailing is what my Nan would do. If we invitied my Grandparents they would kick up a fuss that my Aunts/Uncles aren’t coming even if OH’s aren’t. They did that to my parents wedding and blackmailed them to have my Uncle as best man or they weren’t coming. My Mum’s not as strong minded as me! I’d have said fine, don’t come then!
@lolaswann: 1000! I don’t even know 20 people! 10 would be the limit at ours (including me and OH) 12 at a push if OH grandparents want to come.
@Kjeff760: That sounds perfect. Just like I want. No need to fuss with little things like invitations because you talk to your guests everyday!
I can imagine my Mum being a little upset that it’ll be so small and quick but for my and OH marriage is more about the legal rights you get as a couple over commitment as we are already pretty commited- house, pets etc.
Post # 14
@Jeo: Just wanted to chime in again… we had our small (50 people) wedding at the end of June… and it really was one ofthe best weekends of my life! Many of our guests stayed the night before and the night after at the same lodge we had choosen for our reception, so we socialized all weekend long. Our ceremony was held 20 minutes away in the forest, with one of my best friends as the willing officiant. No flowers other than some pretty annuals I planted in 2 dozen pots for centerpieces, no wedding attendants, no DJ (I picked some music to play before and after the ceremony on a boom box, and plugged my MP3 player into the sound system for lunch), and very little stress. For under $5000, we got married, had a great weekend with family and friends, with a sit down lunch reception. Wouldn’t change a thing, still grinning thinking about it!
Post # 15
@l2fly: Awww :3 Congratulations!!
Post # 16
We are having a teensy little intimate wedding–19 people, including us! Then we’re doing two big casual family parties afterward, one with my family and one with FI’s. Since our families live over 1000 miles apart, it would have been really hard to get everyone together for one event, plus I am sooooooo much more looking forward to our actual wedding, when I know I’ll be surrounded only by people who are incredibly important to me.