(Closed) What do you think about this “ending friendship” letter to moh?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it sounds pretty to the point. I haven’t read what happened but I am sorry. I think that regardless of how you mean for it to sound she will take it however she chooses to take it, so she could perceive it as rude or not. I wish you the best!

Post # 5
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s to the point but not mean, so that’s good. When I first started reading your post I kep thinking that you should call her, but after reading the entire post I see that you tried several times.

Post # 6
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I like your letter. It’s businesslike and not inflammatory.

Post # 7
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MsNarwhal:  I feel you, girl. My Maid/Matron of Honor dropped the ball completely on my bachelorette party AND on our friendship in general. It was a struggle to keep it going and I was hurt, but SO relieved when she “broke up with me” over facebook. Sucks, but it makes room in our lives for people who truely love us and want to be there for us.

Post # 8
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It definitely is to the point, hopefully you get the closure you need.

Post # 9
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it is perfect

Post # 11
Member
869 posts
Busy bee

@MsNarwhal:  It’s definitely to the point.  Hope you can move forward and enjoy your wedding. ๐Ÿ™‚  (Not sure if you care, but you might want to change “awhile” to “a while”)  I know when I’m nervous about writing something, I want my spelling/grammar to be accurate. (But, I’m a little type A sometimes) Good Luck!

Post # 12
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That was not mean, it was straightforward.  Sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 13
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MsNarwhal:  I’ve been following your previous threads, and I think this is the best way to approach her. If she was more level-headed and not prone to drama, I’d say a phone call would be best, but take it from me, that will not go well. I had a bridesmaid threathen to come up to Boston and “kill me” because she ruined my bachelorette party, stalked me on the internet, and made me cry. You just can’t talk it out with some people. Best of luck! I hope this allows you to focus on what should be a really happy time!

Post # 14
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Holy crap is your friend one of my ex friends? I went and read your story and they sound very much like the same person. I posted about my friend if you’re interested in reading it, it’s somewhere in my history. 

Mine went slightly different in that I decided before my engagement that I wanted to end our friendship – she had moved to a different state and so I was planning to let it fizzle out ‘naturally’ so to speak. But then shortly after her moving, I got engaged. I called her to tell her (she introduced me to FI/now Darling Husband, coincidentally, so I figured it the right thing to do) but didn’t ask her to be in the wedding. I know she was expectingt to be Maid/Matron of Honor, though my true bestie she also knew was ‘in contention’ for the task (and WAS my MOH).

Anyway, long story short – she sent me a text saying she wasn’t coming to the wedding because she was mad she wasn’t asked to be a part of it and essentially took credit FOR the wedding because she introduced us (convienently forgetting all the times she tried to sabotage us!). I never replied to her text and I would say that effectively ended our friendship. I spent months writing and rewriting her a letter in my mind but never actually did it, and now 6 months later, I’m glad I never said anything in response. She was always trying to provoke me and I’m glad I didn’t give in.

However, your story is much different as you have to let her know she’s no longer invited – so I think short and to the point is the way to go. Guess I could have just said that without getting into all my mambo-jambo. ๐Ÿ™‚ But be prepared for what sort of snark you might get back and maybe decide now how you’ll deal with that. Equally, be prepared to never get a response ever again. And if you’re okay with that, then it won’t matter! 

Would it be appropriate to ask one of your other BMs to be your MOH?

Post # 16
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@MsNarwhal:  It might be best if she doesn’t respond. Let bygones be bygones!

As a previous boss/friend of mine used to say, ‘put it in a bubble and blow it away’ and get to enjoying your wedding. ๐Ÿ™‚

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