(Closed) what do you think of couples getting married young

posted 12 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 122
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s fine as long as they are financially stable and understand the weight of what they’re doing. I have a friend whose brother got married around 21 and they had no money, no jobs, and had to live with his parents right after they got married. I personally don’t feel a married couple should be living with their parents right off the bat…though I could understand if it happened down the line as a last resort, like if they were evicted or something. But from their own mouths and the parent’s mouths I heard that it was a terrible mistake they made not waiting until they could afford to live on their own because it put such an awkward strain on everyone.

Post # 123
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I will say, for me personally, it wouldn’t have been a good idea. I was engaged at 23. I left him. In the past 10 years I have grown so much as a person. Obviously we learn more the older we are, through life experiences. However, in the past 10 years I learned to become secure with myself. I learned to be okay with being single, I learned how to live independently, I learned how to parent on my own, how to manage my finances as the sole source of income, etc. These things I had no idea how to do 10 years ago (and barely at 23, I had only been a mom for a little over a year). I look back and am so glad I never married him. I had NO idea what I wanted at that age. My taste in men has changed. I’m not talking about physically, but emotionally. I shudder at the guys I used to date after high school. Of course I will be different when I am 35, 45, etc, but my essence, my strength, and my knowledge will only keep going from here. I cannot judge those who decide to marry young. I will say that I hope my son and my future stepson don’t. I hope they take time to be in their late teens and twenties to explore themselves and learn how to grow without worrying about marrying while they are young. I would at least urge anyone to at least have some vocation, trade, or degree under their belt and gain experience working prior to it. Its tough to think of the what ifs, but at the very least you should be 100% prepared to support yourself on your own in the event that it came down that.

 

Post # 124
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsGax2B:  This is such an old reply that I am sure you will never read this, but I want to point out that just because you “grow together” as a young married couple doesn’t mean parenting will be easier. You NEVER know how you will parent until you have a child. And 99% of the things you say you won’t do, you will do.

Post # 125
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You know, my cousin got married last year, 3 days after her high school graduation.  It worries me that they got married so young, but honestly they’re still one of the most in love couples I know.

Post # 126
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My fiance and I met when we were 13 at a summer camp… and he was my first love =) He was my first kiss too.. but we were young and silly and my parents found out about us and there was hell to pay! We were friends all through high school, and he was there for me through everything. He always told me that one day, when we were mature enough, we’d end up together and I was always so unsure of how he could be so sure. 

 

And then the summer before grade 12 rolled around, and I called him late one night while out with my friend (we were reminiscing about the past) and several months later, after lots of unofficial dates, he took me out to the movies, held my hand and – halfway through the movie – gave me my second first kiss with him. 

 

We knew right away how special what we had was, and he met my parents a week later and we became inseperable. I mean we would meet up before school, between classes, and then we’d go to my house for dinner and stay together til 9 or 10 pm. That Christmas, my family was going away and I was still insecure about our relationship (I had never dated anyone else seriously) and he gave me something just before I left, to show me how committed he was to me – a beautiful white gold wedding band, with an engraving on the inside, as a promise ring – a promise to marry me. 

Fast forward a month and we were picking universities together that had both of our programs. My parents decided to buy us a condo instead of having us live separately (as they knew we’d be sleeping at one person’s or the others all the time anyway) and just like that, we were moving in together at the beginning of first year at university, just shy of our one year anniverary. 

Living with him was easier than I could ever have imagined, and I can honestly say that we care for each other so well. We finished first year at the top of the class in each of our programs (we both got awards too!) and we learned how to cook and keep a house and manage bills and expenses…

Second year, we both kept up our schooling and it was even more wonderful (how is that possible?) than the last, and just several days ago (just wrapping up this second year of university) he proposed to me, him at 20 years old, turning 21 this fall, and me at just 2 months shy of 20. 

 

We’re having a 2 year engagement (we want to finish our first degree first) before our marriage!

 

And I can honestly say that we are ready, 100%. I don’t need to date anyone else, or have sex with anyone else, I have found a life companion, someone to have by my side on this great adventure we call life. 

Age has nothing to do with readiness for marriage.

Post # 127
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

@VictoriaK1990:  That is such a lovely story!!! Congratulations on getting engaged!!! You sound so happy!!

Until I met my Fiance at 23 I never in my wildest dreams imagined I’d be ready to settle down in my 20s.. but now I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with my Fiance. I feel absolutely ready to start a family with him.

I’ve since learned that it isn’t about age, it’s about meeting the right person, whenever that may be.

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