(Closed) What do you think of eloping now and doing the big shebang later?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: What do you think of eloping now, and then doing the big ceremony and reception later?
    Romantic, no matter what! If you don't tell people about it, it's a special secret just between you. : (11 votes)
    20 %
    Romantic, if you're upfront about it with your family and friends later. They'll understand, right? : (12 votes)
    22 %
    An okay idea if you only do the reception (not a 2nd ceremony) later-- and not too much later. : (18 votes)
    33 %
    Silly. If you elope, then that should be the end of it. No big shebang later-- one or the other. : (7 votes)
    13 %
    Selfish. You're excluding your family and friends, and then expecting presents from them later. : (6 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I guess it really depends on you and your personality.

    I will be the minority, but here is my experience. Our wedding was a semi-elopement. As in, we had a Destination Wedding, invited people but were set to get married whether people came or not. In the end, our parents, his sister and her Darling Husband came, as well as a few friends, for a total of 14 guests.

    We wanted to celebrate with everyone after we came back; have a huge party or something.

    But, we were busy planning the actual wedding; and when we came back, we were already married and it felt silly to us to have a party in our own honnor. (we both don’t enjoy being the centre of attention, hence the small DW). time went by and we saw everyone separately, and it allowed us to have quality time with everyone and show pictures and talk about the wedding in a more intimate setting with each of them.

    So, I guess for me, I have no problem with an elopement, but I’d drop the big shebang… I know I’ll probably be alone on this though!

    Post # 4
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Why dont you move the wedding up a year? I think you either have a small wedding or wait until you can have your dream wedding.

    Post # 5
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I can understand wanting to elope and then have a ceremony later. I think this works especially well for people who don’t want their ceremony to be public or are shy about that sort of thing. But I do think it’s strange when people then have a ceremony later if they’ve already eloped…you’ve already said your vows, right? If you’re going to elope, own that your elopement is when you got married. But that’s just how I feel about it and I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with having a second ceremony later if there’s really a reason you want to do that–my question about that would just be, why did you elope?

    For me, the ceremony in front of all of our friends and family is the most important part, so eloping was never something that I was interested in.

    Post # 6
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    This is actually what I plan on doing, and have told all of my family already. They totally understand given the circumstances. My now fiance and I already lived together and were planning on getting engaged soon. We had this terrific opportunity to buy a house together, so instead of getting a legal contract written up prior to the purchase of our home to protect both of our interests, we just decided to go ahead and do a small courthouse wedding now followed by our original plans for a bigger reception and vow renewal in May.

    We are super excited about our idea, but in no way are we going to be misleading about it to our family and friends. And so far everyone is being really supportive. It’s probably not considered the most romantic idea, but I just look at it like I am getting the best of both worlds: I get to mary the love of my life all that much sooner, and then we’ll still get to celebrate our union with family and friends!!

    Post # 7
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I just wrote about this on another post, but this is basically what we are doing.  We had a tragedy in the FH’s family right before our original wedding date so we made the decision to move our date back a year.  We went ahead and got married at a JOP (luckily my father is one) with just our parents.  Mostly it was for the insurance and kind of a protection plan for his kids (long story).  We are having the whole wedding process just like every other bride and that is how we are treating it.  We are not hiding the fact that we are married, but almost everyone we know understands the circumstances.  Besides the money we are saving from being married is paying for the whole wedding, just a side benefit.

    And, my brother did the same thing only the savings came from the military benefits they received.

    Post # 8
    2588 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think it’s okay, as long as you’re not pretending you’re not already married.

    Post # 9
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I don’t really understand the concept of eloping and then having a party later.  It seems some people do it to save money, but I don’t really see how still having a “reception” with all the trappings does that. 

    But, if you just want to be married sooner than later, I suppose it works out.  Not for me, because I couldn’t imagine not including our close family and friends in our ceremony.  That’s the biggest part of the wedding to me.

    Post # 10
    28 posts
    • Wedding: October 2010

    unless you or he is in or both are in the military i would just wait to get married so you  have a nice one with friends and family…


    Post # 11
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We’re doing it only because he’s in the military and its for paperwork purposes. We’re going to the Justice of the Peace in Nov and the wedding is scheduled for April. Just our little secret!


    Post # 13
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My husband and I did this.  One day I said to him lets go to Vegas and elope during Christmas break.  A month later I was engaged and he had already planned a wedding in Vegas for the following month.  His mom and uncle and aunt came to our ceremony.  I bought a big princess dress.  It was really cute.  I told my mom and grandma but noone else knows we are married.  We are planning a big wedding for next July.  It is great being married and it has really brought us closer.  I think it is great having more than one wedding.  We are getting married again in Taiwan so that is 3 weddings!  I love getting married, to the same guy.

    Post # 14
    841 posts
    Busy bee

    I think that you should do whatever works for you and your SO. If your family and friends are cool with the idea, then that’s even better! 🙂

    The topic ‘What do you think of eloping now and doing the big shebang later?’ is closed to new replies.

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