What do you think of these messages to someone my girlfriend used to fancy…..

posted 8 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

You snooped her messages and found and extremely benign conversation… Dude. You need help with your trust issues because this is ridiculous…

Post # 17
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

That is a completely innocent conversation, she obviously has told him all about you and it sounds like he’s gay (or bi but currently dating a man). There is absolutely nothing to worry about in those messages. 

Post # 18
Member
9673 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Sure, Jan.

Post # 19
Member
577 posts
Busy bee

No harm here. It would only be shady if she pretended she was single. Stop reading her messages! It is a complete breach of trust.

Post # 20
Member
47 posts
Newbee

Anyone who says they wouldn’t read the messages if they came up while  you were on the computer is a liar or just very  odd in my opinion. But maybe I’m crazy Hahaha. 

 

OP, you don’t need to worry. That is a very normal conversation and if they never actually verbalised that they had feelings for each other then she would still reply to messages as they were technically always only friends. Not to mention he’s gay so he’d only be messaging her aa friends and she’d only be replying because she knew he only ever saw her as a friend and she didn’t want to come across as petty. He asking about someone in his life is a normal response to someone asking about her boyfriend. 

 

I can understand the jealousy inside after reading it because it’s not controllable in your own head. But you definitely don’t need to worry from what I can see in your post. 

Post # 21
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

indigobee :  that was literally my very first thought. Ive seen SOOOO many threads where the female OP is encouraged to snoop, or applauded for already doing so. . But this guy is being reprimanded?? Wtf??

 

DOUBLE STANDARD MUCH???

Post # 22
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

awholenewbee2019 :   eh in my experience on the bee the only time women are encouraged to Snoop is when their man is acting really shady or the woman has a bad gut feeling, none of which apply here, and I’ve also seen plenty of threads where the woman is berated for being a Snoop and breaching trust as well.

Post # 23
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

It was a normal social interaction. Also worth noting this guy hurt her once. She probably is naturally curious if he got his happy ending or not? She asked to assuage her curiosity only. They clearly don’t speak often and he knows about you so there is zero to worry about. If anything it should make you feel better. 

Post # 24
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

It seems like a normal conversation between friends. The fact that she is forthcoming about you says it all. I wouldn’t worry.

Post # 25
Member
6032 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

The username you have chosen for yourself says a LOT about how you self-identify and I really think the issue here is you. Others have given some great advice for how to move forward so all I have to add is that if you are prone to insecurity and self doubt, you need to work on addressing that NOW because it’s not a good look and can/will easily reach the point of getting you dumped if you don’t get a handle on it.

Post # 26
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We’ve seen this post before… 

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